Surviving Singledom In the Age of Self-Isolation

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So, it turns out that everyone and their dog is an expert on global pandemics at the moment (and inhaling 5kg of ginger is the solution to all the world’s problems), so I’ll refrain from offering by two cents to the people of social media that quite frankly are going to do what they want. That said,I will give you some food for thought about something I do know a lot about, namely being single.  Well not just being single, but the unique worries faced by us singletons during this rather strange time in out history.

Of course, I’m aware that not everyone will agree with me here (there are lots of people that’ll claim to be happily single and with all this talk of increased domestic violence, its obvious that isolation with the wrong person could be dire) but I’m going to say it anyway. Being single sucks …. even on the best of days. But it isn’t really the best of days, now is it ? I’ve always loved having my own space, but the thought of going into lockdown all alone actually truly filled me with dread. Sure, being confined to a small space with another person (or worse, children – jokes) is likely to get irritating at some point but surely it has to be better than being alone.  Of course, technology helps us communicate with our friends. But, still as I said being single at such an uncertain time presents some very unique issues that are worth considering.

I don’t want to DIE alone

I know. I know. I’m being a drama queen. But corona virus or no corona virus, I think this a major motivation for people coupling up and subsequently procreating. Nobody really wants to die alone. Right?

Well, luckily for most of us, Covid-19 isn’t likely kill us. That said, even being a bit poorly when you are on your lonesome in a foreign country is a bit rubbish. In the best case scenario, you’ll have friends who care enough to check in on you (anyone know where to purchase a hazmat suit?) and take you to hospital (thanks #zlotybaby) but remember not everyone is that lucky (billy no mates much? Jokes.)

That’s where I think a Significant Other (one who actually likes you, even when you full of germs) may have the edge. The last time I was super sick (and could hardly walk), I was incredibly thankful that I was in a relationship, albeit the early stages and the man of the moment was willing and capable of looking after me and carrying my fat ass around.

So, if you’ve got a person who is willing to socially-isolate with you count yourself lucky. It’s good to have some one to snuggle with during this tumultuous time when the only certainty is that there will be lots of Netflix and Chill(ing) going on. And if you are not quite there yet, perhaps you should consider popping the question. No, not ‘Will you marry me?’ but the much more pressing issue right now ‘Do you want to self-isolate with me?’.

Will I DIE a (Born-Again) Virgin?

Anyone who has experienced a prolonged period of celibacy aka a sex drought will understand my concern here.  Has anyone stopped to think about the impact social distancing is likely to have on our sex lives? As a chick who literally just (like last month) managed to finally(after like six months!) rid myself of the Curse of a Virgin you can see why I’m stomping my feet on this one.

In a normal world, if you are somewhat pretty/handsome it doesn’t take much to get some casual sex. You can do a swipe session on Tinder or hit da club (do people still do that?). But in these trying times and its not like you can just respond to someone’s booty call (especially if he is in the medical profession!). And even the financially well-endowed amongst us won’t be able to call up a lady/man of the night because as hard as they try to convince the government otherwise sex workers haven’t quite made it onto the essential services list.

Hmm…again. The option could be to self-isolate with you FWB? Although, that runs the risk of escalating into a cock-lodger type situation. Alternatively, this may be the time to give a little DIY a try. #justsaying.

Should I have Virtual ‘Tinder’ Dates?

Sure. Why not? I was skeptical about it at first. But seeing as this is now how I resort to communicating with my nearest and dearest, there is no reason why wit and charm win over my future husband  in the digital realm. Desperate times and all. It’s not like it’s going to make that much difference because even on a real life date you’d have to stand 1.5 metres away from one another. Sigh.

But it might not be all bad. Maybe it is about time we gave the ‘Slow Burn’ another shot. Apparently, thanks to Covid-19 and the impact its had on dating people are investing time in creating a dating profile that says more that DTF?. I don’t know about y’all but I for one am truly glad to see the back of that one liner.

Is a Dating Hiatus Always A Bad Thing?

Despite all my fear-mongering, I’m a secret fan of taking a dating hiatus from time to time.While I wholeheartedly agree that you need to put yourself out there if you don’t want to be a spinster and that finding Prince Charming is a bit of a numbers game, this approach to dating can get tiring and its easy to become disillusioned with it all.

Taking a break isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It gives you time to reassess your game plan and figure out what is/is not working for you. It also frees up more time for you do pursue other interests/hobbies (BTW dating is not a legit hobby!). Hopefully, a good break (don’t let it escalate into a lifestyle) from it all will allow you to come back into the dating game refreshed and ready to tackle all the same BS (because no matter how long lockdown goes on for people aren’t really going to change that much, are they?) with new lease of life.

Are There Better Alternatives to Human Company During Lockdown? Yes! PUPPIES

Being stuck in a house alone for 21 days (and then some, most likely) is not normal (unless you are a spinster…). I know there are a lot of people that’ll argue that it is better to socially isolate alone than with a lazy, abusive dumbass. 100%. And I’m sure for many couples lockdown will be make or break. That said, being isolated with your truly love should not be an issue for the majority – I mean a good division of labour should surely make life easier, right?

But if you don’t really have that option available to you, what can you do to stop yourself talking to the walls. Well, you could just organise zoom chats with friends from wherever. Or you could think outside the box (like yours truly) and go one better than human company, and get yourself a PUPPY!

No jokes. What could be better than self-isolating with someone who is truly adorable, loves you unconditionally, gives you all the snuggles you want and most importantly, doesn’t argue back? And unlike pretty much all the humans in my life, puppies have no interest in discussing the current situation from every different angle and so are the best distraction from our #newnormal.

Alright Rinsers. Tell us how is lockdown effecting your love life?  Are you self-isolating alone or with a significant other? Are you losing your will to live yet? Are you still attempting the virtual dating game or are you using lockdown as a opportunity to take a break from the madness? Tell us how you are coping with the new normal in the comments section below. 

 

 

 

 

 

6 comments

  1. All thoughts I’ve had on the regular, I sympathize. Born-again virgin… lol. I figure that’s probably me about now. Haven’t had sex in what… wow 5 years I think! I’ve met some women through dating apps several months ago but right as things were getting to the point where we might meet I realized they were actually not great people and blew it all up.

    I’m actually loving the lockdown, personally. I finally have an excuse for not going out and meeting women. I don’t think you’ll die alone, you’re obviously a very intelligent person and gifted writer which translates to an appealing personality. It’s just a rough game, dating in the 21st century.

    Like

    • Thanks for your kind words. As you say lockdown has its good points. Hopefully, some of the folk out there are putting their time at good use and they’ll come out of this whole mess smarter and possibly more dateable. But it is scary to think that this is going to go on for quite some time. But I suppose talking isn’t all bad and this makes it easier for people with a bit more substance to get ahead in the dating game. Perhaps? Who knows?

      Do you think you’ll give online dating via video calls, etc a shot or are you going to let corona run its course first?

      Stay safe.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I’m done with dating for the foreseeable future, lol. I’ve found a couple of hobbies that I’m VERY interested in and they’re consuming all of my time while making me basically forget about my… erm… sexual loneliness. Lol.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I’m glad you found some new hobbies to keep you busy but don’t give up on love, just take corona time as a break to reassess.

        And don’t worry there are a lot of people in the same boat.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I feel for you, I’m doing ok I get more sleep and I have no excuses to do the things I want to do like sleep, read and write. I know you find it hard to believe but you find someone when this is over.

    Like

  3. Sigh! Thanks for the vote of confidence. It could be worse. I’d hate to live in isolation having just been through a break up or in isolation with someone I hated.

    But as you say it is a good time to spend time on other hobbies and interests.

    How are you doing?

    Like

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