5 Tips On How To Do A Booty Call Right

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I’m fast approaching OLD age. While spontaneity is all well and good in certain circumstances, when it becomes a person’s M.O then things get a bit dull, not to mention transparent. Texting someone because you happen to bored , have nothing exciting going in your sad little life and are simply looking for someone to fill whatever void you’ve got going, is NOT appropriate behavior for mediocre men, friends, neighbours and the like. In fact, I’d go so far as to say, that expecting a person to avail themselves to pander to you at a moments notice is just downright RUDE on so many levels. Firstly, you are assuming they’ve got nothing better on and secondly you think that whatever it they maybe up to on Sunday afternoon, the option of hanging out with you is infinitely better. I’ll let you into a little secret, it’s NOT and chances are even if the car is parked out in the drive and they are home alone lounging in their PJs, Netflix is probably a more attractive option than most actual humans.

Its important to understand that most of us get to an age where the main aim of hosting a party is making sure everyone (except perhaps your significant other) is out of your house by 9pm so you can read before bed and still get enough sleep to be able to hit the gym at 5am. Anyway, the exception to this rule about having a pre-determined routines which aren’t open to being derailed by just anyone is when the person who looks you up on a whim is a BOOTY CALL.  A job role which comes with certain requirements and expectations which must be executed correctly if they arrangement is to be a success. Here are a fewer pointers …

Know Where You Stand

Look, while it may not be the most respectable position to hold in a person’s life, not everyone can occupied by a Booty Caller(?!). Booty calls often happen between two people who have great chemistry but lack long-term compatibility. So don’t go into such an arrangement hoping that things will develop further. The odds are not in your favour.

It also helps if you can keep other parts of your lives separate. So avoid having mutual friends, shared work spaces and the like. Naturally, this is easier said than done in a small world places like Cape Town but its something that you should bear in mind. Try to think of yourself as nothing more of a sex toy. Remember no-one takes their dildo out to meet their friends 🙂 No need to take offence. Which takes me to the next point…

Keep Your Feelings Out of It

Being the NSA encounter that it is, it is important neither party has any great expectations and emotions are left at the door (honestly, its really not for everyone). For example, don’t be expecting this person to be meeting your parents or showering you with flowers. Coming over with a bottle of wine is probably as good as it gets. Also, remember this is a casual encounter, its meant to be fun so if you call up your booty call and they are otherwise engaged, they are under no obligation to explain themselves and there can be no hard feelings.

It’s NOT a Downgrade

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Relationship sex is probably the best sex you’ll ever get. But it isn’t always available and for fear of regaining one’s virginity, aspiring WISOs must get their fix somewhere. That said, in such instances its not advisable to seek comfort in the of an ex. It really isn’t always a case of better the devil you know. Even if you guys were a better match in bed than you were in other areas of life, downgrading a former meaningful relationship to a lowly booty call isn’t good for anyone involved. Break-ups are generally rubbish, and throwing your carnal desires into the mix won’t make things any easier. Remember one of the key elements to having a successful booty call is keeping emotions out of it and unfortunately that is a somewhat impossible feat when it comes to a person you once envisioned happily ever after with.

There Are No Guarantees (So Manage Your Expectations)

Like with most things casual there are no guarantees. Booty calls don’t tend to have a pre-determined start and end dates. The other party really owes you nothing. They could be here today and gone tomorrow. So, its not simply a case of keeping your feelings out of the mix but also preempting the fact that this encounter could come to an end at any moment. It’s easy to get comfortable. For some, a very well-managed booty call arrangement may even seem like more win/win than a real relationship – great sex but less tears, family drama and politics to deal involved.  Enjoy it while it lasts bu also keep your eyes open for other more stable romantic opportunities.

NB It’s About GREAT Sex (So Be Sure You Can Provide That As A Minimum) and Nothing Else

Maybe I’m stating the obvious, although experience has shown me that it is sometimes necessary.  But, sex (preferably mind-blowwingly good sex) is a prerequisite in such an arrangement. As a disclaimer, let me add that it should be technically good sex (experience probably helps there) but it won’t necessarily (in fact, it shouldn’t) come with any sort of emotional connection. So, if you don’t think you can deliver in this department (hint: if she can’t get away fast enough when you are around and she actively avoids being alone with you) then its probably to avoid any sense of ‘betrayal’ by not offering to ‘pop in’ of an evening.

To conclude, booty calls have a purpose. They are great for when you have an itch that needs to be scratched. There are times in your life where something light and fluffy is just what you need. That said, they aren’t for everyone. You need to understand the limitations of engaging in a casual encounter and manage your expectations accordingly.  If you are someone who gets attached easily or tries to find meaning in everything, maybe steer clear. Also, if you fear that your worlds could collide and this isn’t something for public consumption perhaps its better to find something a little more anonymous. So all in all, impromptu sexual encounters, if entered into with the right person (for the job) and with a proper understanding of the limits of  such arrangement can be a hugely beneficial and convenient experience. Also, they are probably one of the few legit spontaneous social interactions that are worth allowing into your nice, regimented old lady lifestyle!

Alright Rinsers. Ever had/been a booty call? Was it magnificent or did it end in disaster? From your experience, what makes a good booty call? Are you fan of spontaneity or would you rather play things safe? Share your thoughts in the comment section below. 

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5 comments

    • I mean spontaneity is fine but I think (similarly to a booty call) you can’t have any expectations or be disappointed when a person says nah, i’m not in the mood to see you. It’s happened on a couple of occasions when I’ve turned down a spontaneous invite and then been called out because I was out somewhere else with someone else I’d made an arrangement with. That is more what irks me. Spontaneity is great when it works for both people.

      And I wouldn’t feel too bad if I was you, I think we all have those friends we know are generally more available and we can call upon and know that they’ll likely be available to do something. It’s just not so great when you figure out you are that friend to someone else.

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  1. In reference to your first paragraph – I realised that there was time when we had nothing better to do and we could do impromptu things like these and that was when we were teenagers. Maybe even at varsity it was acceptable to call someone up and ask them whether they want to party or go for a beer NOW but once people become proper adults Plans have to be made.

    As for booty calls, I’m no stranger to this arrangement. To me it was always difficult to enjoy it because the thought of it ending and potentially never repeating again was too overwhelming to enjoy it 100%. On the other hand, I had some great sex out of it. Also, dating bad boys often has booty call flavor to it – they call you to meet up only when they feel like it and when it’s convenient for them, so while you can get your emotions involved in it as you’re officially dating in reality this means shit and makes it a more painful booty call type.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I definitely think if you are single people are more likely to offer you last minute deals and sure its OK sometimes but it gets a bit boring after sometime. i think people also just need to remember there is a difference between single and spinster. I consider myself a fairly busy single person – between work, sport, dating and other social activities, I don’t get all that much time to myself and when I do I quite enjoy netflixing and reading. I think my biggest problem with the whole ‘popping in’ thing is that people take offence if you aren’t willing to be spontaneous….I’ve been accused of ‘betrayal’ for turning down an impromptu invite but then going off somewhere else and I’ve even had people say – ‘On, I called you but you didn’t answer, yet I saw your car in the drive so I knew you were home’… Like WTAF! Surely, you can’t be offended that someone didn’t want to see you last minute, for all they know I may not have checked my phone because I was otherwise engaged with a hot man!

      I defo think as much fun as booty calls can be, they do come with their risks and the longer it carries on the more chance of someone wanting more and feelings coming into play…they are obviously not for everyone, but if you get the chance and you can rationalise it then why not.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Some people are just too much. They should respect boundaries. By behaving like this they’re sort of forcing you to say something like “I actually PREFER to do this other thing rather than see you.” No dignity, really. If it looks like you’re not someone’s first choice, you probably aren’t. Just deal with it and move on.

        Yeah, I think it’s something for single people to at least try once. I mean when there’s nothing valuable on the horizon it’s better to get some action and have your needs met with a booty call situation then obsess about the next average Joe that comes your way and think he’s Prince Charming because you haven’t had sex in a while .

        Liked by 1 person

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