I’ve now had a love-hate relationship with Tinder for the +/- 5 years. Sure, some sabbaticals have been been self-imposed. As for the other hiatuses, I’m actually very thankful to my exes for taking me off the market (albeit temporarily) and giving me a break from the cesspit that is Tinder. I first joined Tinder in the aftermath of the biggest break of my life, and at time I must admit the whole prospect of an endless stream of ‘eligible’ bachelors was pretty exciting. However, as I keep trying to explain to my smug married friends, the novelty of online dating soon wears off. Even the most dynamic people, get bored senseless when having to explain the life story to a stranger for the millionth time and eventually there comes a time when one mediocre date simply merges into the next. This is why breaks for dating apps , both organic and self-imposed, are good for the soul. Also, on a practical level, you’d think the pool, more so in a small place like Cape Town at least, would have likely changed a fair bit if you re downloading said tools after a year or so. In reality though, the changes are negligible. Same shi*t, different day.
That said, as I’ve always maintained, Tinder and similar platforms are very much a necessary evils if one wants to save themselves from a fate worse than sad spinsterhood! Yup, so as we’ve deduced you’ve gotta be in it to win it. But things are constantly changing (and not always for the better!). So in today’s post I’m going to be looking at some of the ways I’ve noticed Tinder dating changing over the course of the last half-decade. Here goes.
Sifting Through The Deadwood (and then some) Is More Of A Minefield
Tinder is the most basic of all dating platforms. Basically, the only filters you have at your disposal are ‘sex’ and ‘distance’. Unlike other platforms like OKCupid which actively let you eliminate people based on factors such as – race, religious/political beliefs, whether you have/want children, whether you’ve been divorced, level of education, height/weight , sporting abilities etc. The list goes on and then you can even filter further by answering certain contentious questions on issues like abortion, euthanasia, hatred of vegans, etc. And apps like Bumble offer a nice middle ground. While it doesn’t formally allow you to apply these filters, it does acknowledge their importance by allowing people to list the vital stats on such issues at the top of their profile.
Personally, I’ve always said people should be unapologetic about what they are looking for in a future partner so I a huge fan of filters because they save everyone time in this regard. If a White Supremacist wants to be a racist bigot when it comes to who he dates, it’s OK with me. Offering him a way of filtering out all the ethnic minorities is great because it saves everyone a) time and b) the pain of potentially having to interact with a such a person.
Anyway, the point is having no filters has meant that swiping through Tinder has always been quite an arduous task. But things are different now. In addition, to the usual, illiterate fools, those looking for hookups and the ones with shit tonnes of baggage, you now also have legit sift through foot-fetishists and people looking to for the missing part of their throuple. Seriously, I may come across as narrow minded, I’m an old fashioned girl – I don’t ask for much. Tinder, why do you make my life so difficult? A few extra filters would save everyone so much time.
But Investing In (Tinder) Gold Could Save You Time and Some Of The Bureaucratic Nightmares
So when I was back home in exile, trawling the streets (tinderverse) of London for a bloke, my dad told me the reason I always ended up with cheap men was because I was stingy and used cheap apps. Cheap apps = Cheap Men (apparently). I have mixed feelings about paying for dating platforms. I mean, I don’t consider myself a total muntress so paying to get a date feels a bit like some form of prostitution.
Anyway, I eventually bit the bullet and PAID for a 6 month Tinder GOLD subscription. The subscription basically gives you a handful of extra features – it allows you to see who has already swiped right on you and therefore saves you from having to be exposed to those fools that already rejected you, it gives you a free boost which apparently allows you to be seen by more potential suitors, and finally it allows you to swipe anywhere in the world, which is great when you are travelling and want to experience the Tinderverse of a new place, as yours truly did on Love Island.
So I have to admit, things started well. With my first match on Tinder GOLD having, brains, beauty and banter (despite living in butt fuck nowhere and having almost no time for me), I was beginning to think my investment had paid off. But sadly, I spoke too soon. Sure, Tinder Gold speeds things up a little…but this little occurrence was just anomaly. So on the whole, gold or no gold, you’ll still find yourself dealing with much the same riff raff.
Window Shopping Can Be Fun
As I’ve previously said, in relation to my adventures on Love Island, the Tinder Gold feature that allows you to swipe anywhere in the world which has it’s benefits. It allows you to window shop in foreign markets before you consider booking flights and exploring the options in person.
Sadly, it has its downsides too. For example, it also allows you to give into the temptation of stalking ex-boyfriends to see if they too are tindering up a storm, which is probably not so good for your mental health.
Also, exposing yourself to other markets where you could potentially be meeting high-grade men isn’t all that great, especially if you aren’t in a position to access the specimens.
Oh, but these things work both ways. It’s all well and good matching with a hottie. But it’s not so fun, finding out half way through a convo that he matched with you all the way from Australia.
Literacy Levels Seem To Be Dwindling Even Further
Is it possible for the intelligence level of the human population to decline? Surely, people can’t get any thicker? I assure you, my time of Tinder has well and truly proven to me that they can? I understand that communication may not be your forte but bearing in mind that you only have a 100 words with which to describe yourself, you might think you’d be able to get through that without any ridiculous errors. Nope. Sigh.
And Let’s Not Even Start On Social Etiquette
OK, OK. Perhaps I’m being a bit harsh. English isn’t everyone’s first language and all. But there is something to be said for a little bit of social decency. It’s been apparent for sometime now that people are much braver when they are operating behind a computer screen or cellular device. But honestly, it’s not only that they are just pervy or rude, nowadays you encounter guys that are just downright weird. As in seriously, what exactly are they hoping to achieve?
And because a picture sometimes speaks a thousand here is one example for your entertainment.
So, let me tie things up before I depress myself any further. Despite certain bonus features that the paid version of Tinder affords us, there are lots of new weird and wonderful challenges that present themselves to the Tinder daters of today. Perhaps I’m just becoming jaded in my old age but with all these hurdles we have to overcome when it comes to finding yourself a date (never mind a vaguely entertaining one) you begin to wonder whether dying alone is really such a bad thing. And then you remind yourself that a life without sex is no life at all. Sigh. So you keep at it.
OK Rinsers, What are your views on the changing landscape of Tinder dating? Is it getting worse? Is all this swiping just a waste of time? Do you think Tinder should introduce some form of filtering system? Are there better apps out there? Please enlighten me in the comments section below.