We generally try to stay out of politics here at #rinsebeforeuse. Tinder is grim enough as it is without us having to delve into a world where Trump and BoJo rule supreme. It really is a state of affairs when the future of your country lies in the hands of the bumbling buffoon that is Boris Johnson but you take comfort knowing that things could be worse, and at least this fool will provide some LOLs if nothing else. There is no doubt, considering his track record and severe case of foot-in-mouth disease, the DUDE will certainly be causing mass destruction as Prime Minister. But today here on Rinse, I’d like to focus on the positive and look at one thing that Boris may potentially be doing right as Blighty’s fearless leader.
Of all the things to get your knickers in a twist about when it comes to British politics, the media seem to be fixated on the important matter of BoJo’s love life. It seems that thanks to his usual antics, including rugby tackling small children, writing poetry about foreign dignitaries having sex with goats and generally being rude and offensive, the world, it seems, has never stopped to consider whether it was possible that Boris was getting any good loving at home. I am happy to report, that (although this may come as a surprise when one considers his ‘stunning’ good looks and charm) Boris is not a 50-Something Virgin. In fact, quite the opposite, turns out this DUDE has quite the colorful romantic history. No doubt, like his other Posh Tory jerk mates, he probably got up to no good with farmyard animals during his time at Oxford University. He has been married and divorced once before. He is currently busy divorcing his second wife. Somewhere along the line he managed to spawn a fair few heirs to the throne. And to top it all off, he is currently dating Carrie Symonds who is more than 20 years his junior!
It all sounds like great fodder for an episode of the Jeremy Kyle show now, doesn’t it? Anyway, turns out Boris has already made history as the first PM to walk into No.10 Downing Street on his lonesome without a spouse or kids in tow and now we just wait to see if young Carrie will be asked to move in with him (update: it’s official! She has now moved in). Apparently, they’ve already been living in sin for a while (and having domestic disputes for their neighbours entertainment) so it makes sense that she’ll move in again, which will then make them first unmarried residents of No.10. Shock, Horror! I’m sure our beloved Team God will have a lot to say about this. But let’s be real, it’ll be a reflection of modern day relationships and there are plenty of reasons living in sin makes sense and everyone should do it at least once in their lives. Welcome to the 21st Century. Here goes.
Living in Sin Makes Practical Sense
We are all busy people. Work, friends, family, gym, yoga, Tinder dates, etc. And then you finally meet someone you are vaguely interested in and you have to find time to fit them into your hectic schedule. There comes a point when you kinda just want to be with the other person without making a huge event of it. I’m not saying quality time and making an effort isn’t important but its equally good to simply be in the same space sometimes (as long as your don’t become complacent about it).
Sure, ‘sleepovers’ are fun for a bit but there comes a time when packing an overnight bag gets old (I struggle to deal with packing for gym!) so eventually people need to bite the bullet, take the plunge and merge their happy homes. And imagine what a nightmare it would be coming and going unnoticed from No.10. Dirty Stop Out!
Sure, the act of relocating, amalgamating your stuff, finding space for someone else in your living quarters will certainly come with its difficulties to begin with but in the long-run it’ll save you a bunch logistical nightmares in the long-term.
And Financial Sense
Not that it is likely to be much of a consideration for the Prime Minister but for the rest of us mere plebs living in sin comes with financial benefits too. Moving in with a romantic partner allows you to save on rent, utilities, groceries etc with the added bonus of free snuggles (which also equates to lower heating costs). And unlike a regular housemate or Air BnB guest, hopefully now you’ll be living with someone you look forward to coming home to every night rather than someone you purely tolerate as a necessary evil! Yay for adulting.
Although, I doubt Boris is much of a handy type having a bloke around also has other financial benefits. For instance, you now have resident a handy man and no longer need to call in the cavalry to change light bulbs, do some gardening or drill holes in the walls. Yeah, yeah I know the feminazis will tell me to empower myself by taking a DIY course but I doubt anyone would be complaining when even just a Tinder ‘house call; sets up your complicated sound system or fixes the plug on your coffee machine.
Beyond the savings you’ll make on such labour costs, you can also consider the security element. Sure, crime isn’t such a concern in first world GREAT Britain, but here in deepest darkest South Africa having a bloke with BIG MAN muscles around is great for scaring off bad hombres. Surely, it should reduce you home insurance fees the same way getting a dog does?
It is good practice for marriage
People are already speculating about Boris’ third marriage and if he does marry Carrie, it’ll make him the first British PM to get married while in power (and perhaps that’ll mean a public holiday for his loyal subjects! Yay!). In any case, cohabiting with a partner gives you a real taste of what the future holds before you sign on the dotted line. When you are living in sin it becomes increasingly difficult to avoid the bad stuff. Can you really deal with seeing your other half with no make up on? Or the constant sight their dirty underwear being strewn all over the place? How about their bad moods? Is this really the person you want to spend your #happilyeverafter with?
Well, if you don’t know the answers to all these questions living in sin will be sure to provide the necessary insights and help you realise how much of this person you can deal with. There are bound to be teething issues (hopefully there’ll be no need to call the police to rectify those) but you’ll either find a workable middle ground or not. But surely, it’s better to find out at this stage rather than waiting till you are formally married and there is a shit tonne of paperwork involved. Remember getting out of shared lease is one thing but navigating a divorce (as I’m sure the PM will tell you) is bound to be a bureaucratic nightmare and certainly something Boris can do without, especially considering he’ll have Brexit on his plate!
And Just Life In General
Of course not everyone’s idea of #happilyeverafter involves an inappropriately expensive white dress and an epic party for 5000 relatives you couldn’t give two hoots about. Regardless of whether or not you intend on formally tying the knot, living with a significant other provides excellent life lessons which are useful no matter what the universe has in store for you.
Living with a romantic partner has a very different dynamic to other forms of human cohabitation such as living with the olds, living in university digs or having a housemate. If you’ve encountered someone who has never lived with someone they’ve been in a relationship by a certain age, you’ll likely find that they’ll struggle to take this all-important step. The older we get, the more stuck in our ways we become and the less willing we tend to be when it comes to accommodating another human into our life.
I can only speak from my personal experience but the fact that I’ve previously lived in sin with a significant other means that I am not averse to doing it again. I am fully aware of the challenges it’ll pose, but also of the many benefits that come with it. But having dealt with many an eternal-bachelor, I’ve seen first-hand how those who’ve lived such a solitary existence really battle with the prospect of having to permanently share their space with another human. And that really doesn’t bode well for their romantic future, now does it?
So all in all, I don’t have high hopes for the future of British politics. I’m sure our new PM will continue to do a lot of things wrong, inflict huge embarrassment on a great nation and generally provide a few LOLs which we’ll need to lift our in spirits after Brexit. However, it also looks like he’ll be shaking things up a little at No.10 and subsequently showing all these old fogies and god botherers about modern romantic relations and how living in sin is the way forward on more levels than one.
What are your thoughts about living in sin, Dear Rinsers? Is it a good thing? Or something utterly vulgar? Have you ever cohabited with a significant other? What did you learn from the experience? And do you think people who get to their late 30s/40s without having lived in sin miss out of a big life lesson and struggle with future relationships? Finally, do you think Boris moving his girlfriend is a good thing in that it is a reflection of real life or is it just another way that he is making a mockery of UK politics? Go wild in the comments section below.