Series Review : You Me Her


Netflix and rainy weekends are a match made in heaven. And if you’re anything like me and can’t really sit in front of the TV and solely focus on whats on the screen (if I’m not puzzling then I’ll be simultaneously playing on my phone) then you’ll need something easy to watch that does require 100% of your attention. You Me Her is one such series. And I spent much of my weekend, bailing on Tinder dates and indulging in this Netflix series instead. (Seriously, no hope for me!).

This comedy-drama series centres on a 30-something smug married couple, Jack and Emma Trakarsky, who in attempt to spice up their relationship (they have sex 1.5 times a week on average and honestly not the worst I’ve heard of) enlist the services of a 20-something part-time escort, Izzy Silva.  Things between the three parties escalate quickly and its goes from a business arrangement to more of a polyamorous relationship as they all start to develop feelings for each other.

The fact that the couple lives in precious suburbia, think Pinelands, means that they spend their lives surrounded by very vanilla families and suspicions are quickly raised when the Trakarsky’s long lost ‘Niece Jackie’ (aka Izzy) starts frequenting their humble abode. Naturally, the couple have their fears about being judged by their traditional/narrow-minded nosey neighbors. On top of this the now need to confront their own insecurities as well as the challenge of establish boundaries in this non-traditional romantic encounter.

While the Trakarsky’s marriage does get the boost it needs thanks to the introduction of a third party, things for Izzy aren’t all that peachy. Her involvement with Trakarsky’s which was initially meant to be a get-rich-quick scheme which would allow her to pay her rent ends up putting some strain on a potential relationship she’s got going with a rather ‘nice’ guy, Andy.

You Me Her is a somewhat ridiculous series. It tries to make light of some fairly important issues by bringing in this rom-com element. I’m still relatively new to the whole Netflix thing but from what I’ve seen this is one of the only shows that provides some insight into polyamorous relationships. The parameters of the relationship are really all that clear – at times it’s as if Izzy is the couple’s daughter (although the relatively small age gap makes this impossible, it did make my eww a little) and the next minute she is busy calling the shots and telling them what to do.

Despite the fact that parts of the story are stupid, it does touch on some interesting questions. Most obviously, whether monogamy is really is all that or just something we have been conditioned into believing is the best way to do things. Then there is the question of how far people are/should be willing to go in order to save their relationship/ revitalise their mundane sex lives. The series also explores the difficulty people face from those around them when openly following less traditional relationship paths as well as the issue of how likely is it that people can maintain a purely ‘business-like’ sexual relationship without allowing feelings to develop.

I think one area the first season fails to really delve into is really the impact the whole episode has on Izzy’s life as well as an implication that becoming an escort has on her prospects of holding down any sort of traditionally monogamous relationship. She is somewhat lucky that she has a solid bestie (also an escort) who despite their wrestling matches does have her back and her potential man-friend also seems like a semi-decent kinda bloke (watch the series to find out why I say semi-decent), who doesn’t totally run a mile when he finds out the object of his desires is an escort.

So all in all, I thought You Me Her was an OK-ish series. It’s funny, entertaining and also opens our eyes to alternative types of relationship (although I’m not in any rush to get involved in 3-ways anytime soon. I’m an only-child that’ll be overwhelmed by jealousy!). It does get totally ridiculous at times though (I am not sure whether the creators were trying to take the p*ss out of rom coms or what). I’ve only watched the first season so far. Will I watch the next three? I’m not 100% sure because I already thought season 1 pushed the limits pretty far and I can’t quite imagine how much more far-fetched things can get over the course of another three.  But who knows, I might just go home and sneak a peak at the first episode of season two just to satisfy my curiosity.

Have you seen You Me Her, Rinsers? What did you think? What are your views on monogamy vs polyamory? Would you give the ‘relationship more populated’ (as they kept calling it in the series a shot)? Smug married people – how far would go to liven up your relationship/sex life? And finally, would you be open to dating an escort? Do you think it’s possible for such people to have regular relationships alongside their career choice? Educate my innocent mind in the comment section below. 





  1. I think a relationship with an escort would be possible for a person who’s not jealous. I think many people would have a problem with dating someone who even used to be an escort so I think it’s something that I can see why someone would try to keep a secret.

    To me such “opening of a relationship” means a slippery slope to a break up and it was in my one and only non-monogamous relationship experience. People often “downgrade” a relationship when they know things aren’t right before they’re ready to completely end it. Still, maybe there are people who can really rock polyamory in the same way some can rock long-term long-distance. I think everyone must decide for themselves what’s their cup of tea.

    Last but not least, how does one have sex 1,5 times a week? Is it penetrative sex one time and the other time just a hand job? Or maybe it’s penetrative both times but with one person not coming the second time? Please enlighten me!


  2. Haha! You will need to watch the series to find out. I won’t ruin it for our rinsers.

    Also, I don’t know why the couple really needed to go to a relationship counsellor if they are still at it 1.5 times a week. I’ve heard of way worse than that e.g. – people who do it like twice a year. Once on his b’day and the other time on xmas. :p

    But if a hand job counts as 0.5 of sexy times – does that mean one can loose half their virginity just by using their hands? What if they used both hands? Boom! Cherry popped.

    I’ve started on the second series now and things are getting even more insane. I wonder what non-comedy haha polyamoros relationships are like. So many dynamics you’d need to factor in. Do you go on dates as a ‘throuple’ (yes, that’s the official term they use in the show)? If one person is away on a business trip are the other two allowed to get it on? So many questions.


    • I’ll drill you about it in person.

      I remember reading studies about it and 1,5 per week (whatever it means) would still suggest a healthy relationship. 1-5 per week in a longterm relationship is apparently “normal”. Also, more than 5 suggests you may be trying to cover up relationship issues with sexing it up. I guess we also talk about averages here – let’s say no sex when you’re sick and almost dying and the last thing you think about is sexy times and twice a day on holiday, before and after going sightseeing. I think some people also tend to forget sex when they have kids but then the couple in question didn’t have any.


    • Missed the lat paragraph. From what I read about such arrangements, agreeing on things is the key. You just have to talk everything through and if something unexpected happens also talk about it to agree on things. Only breaking the agreement means cheating.


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