As of very recently, I’ve removed myself from all forms of online dating. It’s mainly because I’m a bit disillusioned by it all. Even for the Queen of Laziness, who would rather meet someone face to face following just a handful of messages, it has come to feel that all the effort that goes into all the mundane conversations rarely reaps any benefit. Sigh. It’s also probably because deep down the writer in me likes to chase a good story which in my book would never begin with the line : ‘Once Upon A Time I Swiped Right…..’. Despite the fact that the vast majority of couples around me seem to have met online, a small part of me doesn’t believe that apps and computers really have a part to play in my love story.
Don’t worry, I’m not giving up on happily ever after (as I mentioned I probably like a stories too much to do such a thing). My new plan of action (which no one expects me to stick to) involves basically hanging out in somewhat poetic places where I think Prince Charming could potentially be hiding. Think bookshops, libraries, art galleries … and gyms (a man with big man muscles and brains – a girl can dream!). And in the end (well at least until I feel the need to call time on the Tinder hiatus) letting love find me (as it does in fairy tales!).
But is this strategy of ‘chasing stories’ is necessarily such a good thing or does it actually have potential to do more damage especially when feelings come into play? Would approaching dating and relationships in a more pragmatic and less romanticized manner be more effective in terms of landing oneself the man and living happily ever after? Let’s see….
Does ‘Chasing A Story’ Just Lead To Drama?
I won’t lie part of the motivation behind the break from actively dating is that there is a little bit of hope that it’ll calm my life down a tad. Then again, perhaps it’ll make no difference as drama will always find its way to me. I have been told that I probably secretly enjoy a bit of commotion and therefore open myself for all sorts of heartbreak.
I mean the rush that comes with trying to manoeuvre one’s way around a small-village-like -ity while trying to squeeze one, two or maybe three dates into a night can be somewhat thrilling. And just recently, I invited a Tinder date to a single’s party only to ditch him almost immediately for a somewhat more interesting prospect. I’m seriously lucky I didn’t get bitch slapped for that stunt.
And to be fair, if you gave me a nice wholesome guy with a decent office job, I’d probably bitch and moan about how much time he wanted to spend with his mum and go running straight into the (nice, strong, gym bunny) arms of a man who’d rather be conveniently shacked up with a ‘cougar’ while keeping the active wear obsessed chick around because she is pretty to look at and provides a bit of banter.
‘Love’ Stories Keep Life Interesting
Of course, we all know that bad boys give us good stories but its not just about them and the associated drama. There can be happy stories too. Love (and life in general) shouldn’t be about always doing the sensible thing. It should involve at least a handful of risks and few adventures. Naturally, as we get older we have more responsibilities to consider when making major life decisions but isn’t there something nice about letting a holiday romance escalate into a long distance love affair, which may not have the fairy tale ending but did give you the opportunity to test your limits, throw caution to the wind and relocate to the other side of the world on a whim!
Perhaps you consider such nonsense a big waste of time, resources and money but at least such things build character and provide stories for future generations. I mean it’s got to be better than resigning yourself to an arranged marriage or a sexless existence.
Just A Matter of Perspective – How Do We Define What Makes A Good Story?
Maybe for me, a good story always involves some epic highs and lows, big drama, a bunch of adventures with a hot man and of course lots of butterflies (and perhaps a few disagreements). But then again maybe for others the greatest love story of all time simply centres around finding happily ever after with your bestie from high school. Some may argue that running off to deepest darkest Africa in pursuit of love is not all that different to saying escaping the green and pleasant land, marrying a member of ISIS and jetting off to Syria to fight for a noble cause. Different strokes…
At the end of day , playing it safe is likely to spare you some tears and heartache, that’s for sure. However, sometimes taking risks and making mistakes makes for a better story or at least a learning experience. And while incorporating a little drama into your life can keep thing interesting, I think its important to know when to draw the line and walk away before things get out of hand. If you can manage to keep you wits about you and ensure that no-one suffers from much more than a bruised ego, there isn’t any harm in having some fun. Life can be bleak and boring , so giving people something to talk can’t be the worst of crimes, surely.
Alright Rinsers. Share your thoughts. Do you ‘chase stories’ ? Or do you steer clear of such potential drama ? Is it better to play it safe or pursue adventures despite the risk of being bitch slapped or having your heart brutally ripped to shreds? We look forward to hearing what you’ve got to say on the matter.