Guest Post: Dating as a Vegan

veganGuest post time! Antonia from The Vegan Rainbow Blog shares her thoughts about dating as a vegan. Enjoy!

Dating in general can be a challenge these days, but dating as a VEGAN takes things to a whole new level. Especially, if you live in a meat loving city like Cape Town, where a ‘braai’ (BBQ) is part of the culture.

I’m a plant eater and currently single (let’s rather not get into detail here). Given my relationship status, I cannot tell you what it’s like to date a vegan as a vegan, but rather share my opinion on this controversial topic with you.

In my early vegan days, which is now 4 years ago, I couldn’t even imagine to date an omnivore ever again. I must admit, that my perception has changed over the years. It would definitely be more challenging to be involved with a meat eater, but surely not impossible. I guess it’s all about compromise. In every relationship one has to sacrifice something somewhere along the lines.

This might come as a surprise to some vegans now, but I’d definitely consider dating an omnivore again. It probably won’t be ideal and complicate things a lot in daily life, but in the end love wins anyway.

Should I really find myself in the situation of dating a non-vegan, there’d be rules. Sounds harsh at first, but I think it’s the only way to go. OK, let’s call them guidelines rather.

My partner’s kitchen for example, or the one that we’d once share together will have to get a bit of a makeover. Since I won’t use any kitchen equipment that had anything animal on them, I’d rather bring my own stuff. I’d probably even label everything for vegan use only. Nope, it won’t stop here –  so let’s all take a deep breath. The guy better has a big fridge too, because I’d want my own compartments to stock the plant based products. Sounds crazy? Well, the last thing I want is to have my greens lying next to or on top of corpses. It might be “just” meat for you, but I see dead animals. Sorry for telling you the truth at this point.

When it comes to grocery shopping I’d definitely insist on paying only for my vegan products. Separate bills will solve that problem in a heart beat. I know it sounds a bit weird, but I wouldn’t want to spend my hard earned money on anything of animal origin..Sharing costs for coffee, toilet paper etc. is no problem of course, but any non-vegan item will be for your own account Mister. I hope toilet paper is even vegan !? Never asked myself that question before…Anyone knows?

After reading all my thoughts on this topic you probably think I’d force the vegan lifestyle on my future prince. Well, unfortunately I have to disappoint you here. I might buy and bring my own things, but I’d never expect my partner to become a vegan. If it happens in course of the relationship, then it would mean the world to me, but it also has to come from the heart. If the guy only goes vegan in order to please me, then the relationship would be heading for disaster in the long run. In return I also wouldn’t appreciate it if my man asked me to drop veganism for him. Luckily I’m able to whip up the most amazing vegan dishes in the kitchen, so eating more of a plant based diet will come naturally to the man in question anyway. Who doesn’t want a girl that can cook?

There are brilliant movies on Veganism out there, but don’t worry, my future boyfriend won’t be dragged into a movie theatre to watch “Cowspiracy” or “Vegucated” whilst snacking on popcorn sprinkled with nutritional yeast. A cosy Italian restaurant for a Friday night dinner date will do too. It’s all about balance, right?

In my mind a relationship works best if you have many things in common, so I’d probably be better off with another vegan. If this is not meant to be, then I’m positive the universe has figured it all out for me and wants to challenge me somehow. Vegan or not, a soul mate is a soul mate.

You’ve guessed right, I’m a hopeless romantic that hasn’t given up hope yet! OK, enough of my relationship goals here. This is not supposed to be a Tinder profile after all.

At this point I bet, that all the single omnivore guys reading this post out there are now scared for life and won’t even attempt dating a vegan girl. So here’s my question for you: how would you react if a girl you fancy tells you that she’s a vegan? Please let me know in the comments so I can see if I’d even stand a chance. Or should I rather not mention it on a first date? This probably won’t work either because you might ask me out for dinner at a steak house. But hey, nothing to be scared of: I’m only another vegan that wants to save the planet, not a chick that boasts following banting, paleo or flexitarian diets. Oh and FYI, I’m not gluten intolerant.

In that sense good luck to all the singles out there. Let’s EAT, PRAY; LOVE

The Vegan Rainbow Blog

So, Dear Rinsers, what are your thoughts? Would you date a vegan? If you’re vegans/vegetarians yourselves would you date an omnivore? Are other dietary habits in such cases deal breakers or do you agree with our OP’s pragmatism? 

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7 comments

  1. bone&silver · 29 Days Ago

    I have been leaning towards being vegan this year, having last done it in my early 20s (I’m 51 now). My current girlfriend and my teenage son are both a little distressed by this turn of events, but I’m a pretty good cook, and they are free to eat meat whenever they’re out! I just told my son yesterday that I don’t want him cooking beef in the house, but he’s free to get a burger at the cafe up the road (I’m just not paying for it haha). In some ways, I think it would be easier to date a vegan because it’s such a clear match re values/ethics/health etc… surely there must be a vegan dating app?? Or someone should design one fast! Great post, thanks, I’m gonna follow her blog : ) Cheers from Australia (where we also love BBQs)

    Liked by 1 person

    • zlotybaby · 29 Days Ago

      Thanks for your comment, I’m glad that now you have a new blog to follow 🙂 I’m vegan during the week and pescatarian during weekends so Antonia’s ethical views are close to my heart (but also I’m a bit of a hypocrite and my best is to minimize not to eliminate). My husband is a pescatarian. It’s important to me that we share similar values in this respect and I had issues with my boyfriends in the past who were omnivores. Mostly just stupid comments from their side and once someone gave me a chicken samosa on purpose. I’m not sure, whether South Africa has enough vegans for a vegan only dating app but okcupid features (or at least used to) eating preferences (which I immediately picked up on my husband’s profile). Perhaps Australia is a better market and maybe you’ve just discovered which business to open to make millions 😉

      Liked by 2 people

  2. Viia · 29 Days Ago

    My last 2 boyfriends were vegetarian or vegan and I must say it was so natural and easy being with someone that shares similar values and principles. A big plus was being able to share dishes when eating out, or not having to cook separate meals at home. Now the thought of dating a meat-eater seems so foreign; Prince Vegan Charming better be making his way to me soon 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • zlotybaby · 29 Days Ago

      I agree. My husband is a pescatarian and it matters to me that we share such values. Also, as you said, it just makes life easier to be able to share meals/shop together etc. In terms of shared finances I’d have a problem with my money being used for meat. Even on our SA wedding we didn’t serve any meat dishes, unfortunately my mom opposed the same regime during the Polish celebrations. I hope your Vegan Prince is on his way!

      Like

  3. EnglishRosiee · 14 Days Ago

    Getting to this a bit late but it’s a good topic for conversation.

    So I have a bit of a strange relationship with veganism/vegetarianism. On the whole, I’m pretty much pescatarian but I’ve go through phases of toying with vegetarianism/veganism. As a bit of confused person in general, I don’t think it’s fair to impose my views on other people. In general, I love food and there is nothing I can stand less than fussy eaters or people that insist of making a big deal about their allegies/eating preferences. Even when I’m going through one of veggie moments I can easily be taken to steak house and will happily sit in the corner and munch of chips and mushroom sauce! By the same token, I hate to hear people complaining that there is nothing for them to eat or that such and such restaurant doesn’t cater for their preferences. Quite frankly, if there is nothing on the menu for you then you should have researched the menu before going out and made a plan to eat home, otherwise it’s time to pipe down. (I’d say the same thing to a meat-eater who went to a veggie restaurant and cried about how much they miss meat). Suck it up. Life isn’t fair.

    Probably the reason I’m so chilled about my eating preferences is that my choices are driven by what I believe is good for MY health rather than big moral issues. Sure, if I can save a few cute little piggies while saving myself from cancer then that’s great but like I said it’s about MY health and if the next person wants to eat hormone-infused KFC everyday then that’s their choice. No judgement.

    When it comes to dating and eating preferences I’ve experienced it all. One guy, lovingly referred to as the ‘veggie’, tried to flatter me by saying how amazing it was to date a chick who was veggie and how wonderful it was to kiss someone who doesn’t eat meet. Really? Really? Is that meant to make a girl want to date you? I would like someone to fall for me for more than just my food choices! Dumbass. On the flipside, I’ve been called a hypocrite by another fool because apparently if I cared so much about the world then I wouldn’t be driving on the roads because the tar contains pig fat and by driving I’m contributing to the slaughter of innocent piglets anyway. A girl can’t win, can she?

    So basically, I’d rather spent the dates eating rather than discussing my food choices. For me, it’s not a deal breaker but I get that for some people it is. I just don’t want to date an activist either way and spend the rest of my life (or even one evening) discussing it 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  4. lentilface · 8 Days Ago

    I really liked this post up until you said ‘not a chick that boasts following banting, paleo or flexitarian diets. Oh and FYI, I’m not gluten intolerant’ — you’re talking about dating an omnivore but the way this is written you sound very judgy of anothers’ lifestyle choice! Clearly you’re very strictly vegan which is admirable, however I would say flexitarian is leaps and bounds ahead of omnivore in terms of impact on the environment, health etc etc all the reasons people become vegan, therefore shouldn’t be shut down so quickly as you are doing above.

    Like

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