Super Dates and My Weirdest Dating Experience

superman-1803165_1280Not long ago I started watching Aziz Ansari’s “Master of None”. As a single guy the protagonist has lots of dating (mis)adventures. One of them is a super date during which he takes a girl he doesn’t know that well to a different city for a night. A great way to bond? In my experience rather a recipe for a disaster. Let me share with you my own weirdest dating experience ever. Oh, how good it is to be sorted and not to be forced to have weird dating encounters with the opposite sex!

In my early twenties I met a handsome doctor in Rome. During my stay there we had a few coffee dates and we kept in touch when I came back to Poland. As we were getting on well, we decided to have a super date, which sort of seemed to make sense as we lived in different countries. The meeting place was Milan where we were supposed to spend the weekend.

The guy decently rented us two rooms and everything looked promising. After arrival we went to explore the city which was nice enough and we chatted over numerous cups of coffee again. Then we came back to the hotel where he kissed me and things started to get weird. Like 30 seconds into the kiss the guy pushed me away and asked me to please stop kissing him as he was getting too excited (?). He made a similar comment, what I thought was, a joke when he was seeing me off in Rome so a red lamp started to flicker in my brain. I listened to the instruction and after a few minutes of awkward silence we decided to eat something. That was an ordeal on its own for me as at this point I was well fucked in the head too and had serious inhibitions to eat food around people. Let alone, in the circumstances where I started to think there may be something wrong with the guy I spent two months chatting to. So there I was struggling to swallow (pun intended) when out of the blue he said “Fine, if you want to have sex we can but ONLY with a condom”. Wooow, can you have more of a mood spoiler than that? I mean, I’m a big supporter of safe sex and all but wasn’t someone getting a bit ahead of himself? I replied “Ummm” and he said “What? I don’t know how you do these things and I’m a doctor and I have to be clean!”. Right. As you can imagine the conversation stopped flowing after that (because what do you say?).

Fortunately, before the awkwardness started we planned a trip to the cinema and I welcomed with open arms, a place where no talk was necessarily. “Robin Hood” with Russel Crow helped me to take my mind of all the weirdness and there was something to talk about on our way to the hotel. Eventually he asked me whether I wanted to share the room to which I replied that I don’t mind but sex wasn’t on the cards (just to put it out there as this was clearly how he liked it). He didn’t seem to be taken aback or anything like that. I guess I was counting on normalizing things over the pillow talk. We tried sleeping in an embrace but the guy started a mini rage about how unnatural it is for his arm and eventually crawled to the other side of the bed. And there I was lying in the darkness, not being able to sleep, hoping to be anywhere else than where I was. I didn’t know how who I thought was a finally-normal-guy turned out to be this weirdo who says and does everything wrong. Of course, before I got there I hoped for the best. It was quite an elaborate plan between my studies and his work to plan a weekend away! And what was I going to tell all my friends at home cheering on my liaison with an Italian doctor?

This was probably one of the worst nights in my life. As soon as the sun started to show on the horizon we were more than happy to part and we ended the weekend earlier.  Weird fact: we still kept chatting for two months after that and we even saw each other once when I came to Italy to work during student holidays. Of course, that meeting was weird too so that was it. I did have a great time in Italy for the next three months, though!

If there’s any lesson in this story it’s that seeing someone for short coffee dates and staying in touch online doesn’t necessarily tell you that much about a person. They may be perfectly functional in a conversation and totally weird in other respects. Super dates seem like a great idea and I’m sure there are some people for whom they worked out. At the same time, in general, the slow gradual easing into a relationship is a better and more mature way of dealing with things than such an intense experience. Remember that slow and steady wins the race!

Thanks for reading, Dear Rinsers! Any diagnosis for the Doctor? Have you ever had a super date? Went away with someone you didn’t know that well? Did it work out for you?

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11 comments

  1. EnglishRosiee · August 15

    Lolski! This gave me a much needed giggle this morning.

    Agh at least super dates usually have a story you can tell people for years to come, although as you said I doubt they ever really match up to our expectations. I fell down a flight of stairs on new years eve one year and into the arms of a Parisian rugby player. We chatted online for a few months and I met up with him in Paris while visiting a friend. Meeting up with a hot guy in a suit is quite poetic but then he decided to drag me around obscure parts of the city while he did his admin. Then he euro stared to London a few times for work and it was all well and good in theory until we went out for coffee and he literally put a whole muffin into his mouth in one go. And just like that his lack of table manners bought the whole super date scenario to an abrupt end.

    Liked by 1 person

    • zlotybaby · August 15

      I’m glad you had fun reading it. Lol, at least you could blame it all on the bloody muffin. After my story I was wondering for weeks what and why went wrong, blaming myself for maybe causing the awkwardness. Only now after years this story is what it should be: a fun story to tell people about extended dates.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. updownflight · August 15

    That’s an interesting result. I sort of wonder if the Italian doctor was a bit reserved when in person vs. when there is a type of distance involved. I’ve never met up with anyone I’ve met online, but I often wonder how it would go. Though I have heard stories of such relationships working.

    Liked by 1 person

    • zlotybaby · August 15

      So I actually met the doctor in Rome during holiday and then we continued our “relationship” online. Our extended date was the fourth time we saw each other. Still, an hour long coffee date or even three of those vs a whole weekend makes a difference. He was just very different during the weekend. When we first met he was charming and we seemed to get on very well. I guess maybe during our “online time” the conversations were a bit flat but I thought it would change once we meet again. Maybe he was trying to get into an actual relationship while his heart wasn’t truly in it? But then he did pay for two bloody rooms in a hotel just to make me feel comfortable… it was just all so weird!

      I dated one of the followers of my other blog for a year, we met online. I also met my husband via internet dating. Around 25 I was drawn to the idea of maximizing my dating options for optimal results. I felt like “organic” dating was just limiting the kind of people I met. Even though my husband and I have similar friends we didn’t have any link between us. I don’t think we would have ever met if not for online dating.

      Liked by 1 person

      • updownflight · August 15

        I imagine a very high percentage of people are now meeting online. I must seem so old-fashioned in that online dating didn’t even really exist when I was “in the market”.

        I’m so glad you found your hubby.

        Liked by 1 person

      • zlotybaby · August 15

        I think so but there’s still a lot of stigma around internet dating. In the beginning my husband and I would lie that we met through a mutual friend (as a friend indeed made me join the internet dating site it felt like a white lie). We got over it after a few months of dating and now we tell everyone the truth. Thanks, I’m really glad too.

        We all grow older, you sound my age from your posts so you’re clearly young at heart and that’s all that matters.

        Liked by 1 person

      • updownflight · August 15

        I feel somewhat young at heart. Not sure how old you are, but I’m in my mid 40s.

        Liked by 1 person

      • zlotybaby · August 15

        I expected you to be in you 60s because of miscalculation that had to do with your trip to Poland. I’m 29.

        Liked by 1 person

      • updownflight · August 15

        29 is a mighty nice age! Enjoy it!

        Liked by 1 person

      • zlotybaby · August 15

        I will enjoy the last 15 days of it, thanks 😜

        Liked by 1 person

      • updownflight · August 15

        Happy upcoming birthday, zlotybaby!

        Liked by 1 person

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