The Surprising Freedoms of Being a Man

man2We allegedly live in a world of equality when men and women have the same rights. Unfortunately, it isn’t so in reality. Apart from very obvious examples of sexism there are also more subtle freedoms that men enjoy and women don’t.

1. Going to a bar on your own

As much as bars are social places sometimes you’re on a work trip or for whatever reason feel like you want to go and have a drink on your own. As a man you can do it without much hassle. In fact, bars are full of men who come to have a beer or two and leave undisturbed. As a woman your one-on-one with yourself is going to be interrupted. No one will question your right to be there, but men will approach you to talk to you. You can also experience aggression if you express your preference to be on your own. After all, what are you really doing in this bar if not just teasing men? 😉

2. Looking good

If a man dresses up only once in a blue moon, perhaps he’ll have a colleague or a friend commenting on him looking smart. If he pays attention to his looks, however, and in general looks good, no one will comment on it. It will not be pointed out to him that he dresses up, no one will ask him who is he doing it for. A woman, however, is immediately expected to put an effort for someone other than herself. This is precisely the reason why men think they’re entitled to comment on a woman’s appearance if she visibly improves the way she looks. Other women either internalized this way of thinking or just feel threatened around specimens who present themselves better. They comment freely and often nastily on how other women look. The better the looks, the nastier the comments so feel flattered if it happens to you a lot!

3. Walking on the street

The intensity of catcalling depends on a country but let’s agree that it’s quite a widespread phenomenon. As a man you walk on the street freely, without being bothered (unless you’re asked for some money). As a woman when you walk on the street, you’re often spoken to. Some men just say “Hi”, others comment on your appearance, yet others are verbally abusive. The rule is that the better you look, the more attention you get. It has to do with the reasons I’ve mentioned in point 2. If you’re visibly dressed up, catcallers feel more justified in their behavior and more often, if ignored, they escalate their verbalised objectification of you to verbal aggression. It doesn’t matter what you wear, though. I’m sure every woman can recall numerous situations when her hair was oily, she was hangover and maybe even stank a bit of vomit. Yet, she still was catcalled. It remains unclear what a catcaller wants. I doubt they ever got a date out of such an encounter, let alone get laid. Perhaps the objectification of women makes them feel more manly?

4. Meeting a new person of opposite sex without being suspicious

Whether you’re single or not, there are numerous occasions to meet new people. Sometimes you have a passion through which you make connections, sometimes you need to do your bit of networking to make ends meet. In any case, these days people tend to meet a lot of new people of both sexes. The trick is that when you’re a woman, men very often have ulterior motives to talk to you that have nothing to do with innocent socializing. They’re counting on your attention in the biblical sense. Rise your hand, please, if you never had a guy literally dropping a conversation with you at the point he hears that you’re taken or let him know you’re not interested in him “in that way”! Such experiences make a woman suspicious and just to be on the safe side I’ve developed a habit of mentioning my husband almost immediately. Perhaps it seems obsessive but I prefer that than having a nice convo with someone and then them turning around the minute they realize they won’t be able to stick their dick in me.

 5. Going topless

There seems to be one moment in a woman’s life when she can flesh boobs freely and it’s the time when she’s breastfeeding. Other than that, women have to keep their bras and usually their shirts on at all times. Show a bit more cleavage and you’ll get judged too. Some guys have boobs bigger than I do and yet, they’re allowed to parade with their bare chest not only on the beaches but also in the means of public transport. Women get hot too so I really don’t understand why a female taking her shirt off is indecent exposure and a man doing the same isn’t!

I could keep enumerating forever. It all boils down to the perception of women as first and foremost, sexual objects. An object can be evaluated and commented on. Of course, if the object talks back or doesn’t want to comply with whatever is suggested that causes a surprise and even an outrage. Some people will try to convince you that by putting effort into your looks you objectify yourself, but if that was true good looking men would be getting the same sort of comments that women do. One could also point out that women wouldn’t make similar comments but this is just because they don’t objectify men in a similar way.

Hello, Dear Rinsers! Please tell me what you think about this issue. Any more surprising freedoms coming to mind? 

 

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9 comments

  1. EnglishRosiee · July 26

    Ugh. The man boob thing. They just need to put it away. I am all for body positivity and all but sometimes these guys just violate my eyes and it can be traumatic for little kids too 😛

    My worst though is in religious sorts of places. Men where what they want, when they want. I was in a temple once and a police officer started blowing a whistle at me once for showing a centimetre of shoulder skin meanwhile these so-called religious men (probably a bunch of perves as well) were sauntering around in nothing more than a toga. hypocrisy!

    Liked by 2 people

    • zlotybaby · July 26

      Wow. Ja, well, women bodies are sexualised and objectified. The logic that you’re being offensive by showing a bit of your body is wrong because it’s obviously the problem with people being offended by the mere existence of the female body. Some of them would have us living in caves just going out to procreate if they could.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. kristinagallo · July 27

    Here are no private messages so i will say you this public. Don’t post promote comments on my blog, you did it third times, all finished as spam, so don’t bother with this. If you wish to promote your blog find another place for this. Your links are not interesting me.

    Like

    • zlotybaby · July 28

      I’ve never posted on your blog. This blog has two authors so perhaps it was her doing. I’m investigating it now, meanwhile please accept my apologies.

      Like

      • kristinagallo · July 28

        My comment is for English rosiee, who posted 3 links on my blog. https://en.gravatar.com/englishrosiee

        Like

      • zlotybaby · July 30

        Yes, so that’s the co-author. I’ll forward her your complain. Sorry!

        Liked by 1 person

      • kristinagallo · July 31

        Thank you. I have no bad intention. Mutual follows and comments related with content are fair play. Sharing links to pull followers at blog is wicked. Thanks for your attention.

        Liked by 1 person

      • zlotybaby · July 31

        Agreed. It won’t happen again. Have a nice day!

        Like

  3. Pingback: Review: We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie | rinse before use

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