How do you like your eggs? Scrambled? Sunny Side Up? Over-Easy? Truffle Infused? The options are endless. This dear rinsers is the million dollar question, not only for a girl (like poor me) who has been BANNED from every so much as looking lovingly at an egg smuggled into her house by a well meaning unicorn (yes, things are that bad!), but for us all. Before you start thinking that the lack of eggs in my diet has caused me to lose my marbles let me get to the point. Today, I want to talk about the importance of knowing your own mind (and how you like your eggs) before getting involved in a relationship.
Let me start by providing some background. Seen the Runaway Bride? It’s a chick flick staring Julia Roberts. All in all, the movie is nothing revolutionary but there is this one scene that stands out. It’s where Julia Robert’s character, Maggie, decides to sample every kind of egg imaginable (a dream come true for me!). The reason behind this egg feast is because at some point she comes to this epic realisation that she doesn’t know how she likes her eggs because she has always just ordered whatever type of eggs her fiance at the time liked. Basically, what they are getting at with the whole egg thing is that Maggie doesn’t have her a mind of her own – she adapts herself (and her egg preference) according to whoever she dates.
Now lets look at real life. Surely, we all know someone who makes dramatic life changes whenever they start dating someone new. The party girl who decides to swap nights shimmying away at the club for Sunday mornings at Church because the Bible boy she’s dating has put the fear of god into her? Or the dude that suddenly stops making his hilarious un-PC jokes and dumps his somewhat eclectic friends because his new lady friend raises her eyebrows every time they go out together? The chubby girl who starts discovering a love for active wear since she started dating a triathlete? You catch my drift.
Of course, when you get into a relationship it’s natural for there to be some adjustments in your life. Its not as if two people can carry on living the singleton lifestyle and expect to have a healthy relationship. Taking an interest in the things that make your partner tick is a good thing and obviously some degree of compromise is always necessary to allow a relationship to function well. Good relationships require an element of understanding and a bit of give and take. But they key here is that compromise needs to come from both sides. If it is just one person making changes and sacrificing their own happiness for the sake of the relationship, it doesn’t do anyone any favours in the long run.
Getting into a relationship shouldn’t mean giving up the things/people that you love and make you who you are. Being open-minded and allowing a partner to introduce you to new things is great but it’s important to stay true to yourself. There will always be some change when you transition from the single life to being in a couple but if you are with the right person hopefully they’ll change you in a positive way, allowing you to develop in a way that enhances your quirks (which is probably what attracted them to you in the first place) rather than stifling your individuality. E.g. It’s OK for a chick who eats 6 eggs a day to gently be told to reduce her egg consumption for the sake of her soaring cholesterol levels as long as she actually isn’t being banned (yes I was being a drama queen earlier) from them entirely by some sort of raging vegan!
Ultimately, I guess this is why it is so important to make use of your single time wisely; to develop your personality, build up your self-confidence, establish solid friendships and discover the things that make you happy. That way, when you do get into a relationship you’ll be in a stronger position to know your own limitations and the things you can reasonably negotiate on without completely losing your identity.
So dear Rinsers, Have you ever been in such a relationship where you’ve changed dramatically in order to impress your partner? Or have you been witness to this sort of thing with a friend? How important do you think it is to have a strong identity before getting into a relationship. Share your comments below…
P.S. More importantly – How do you like your eggs? Let the debate begin.