Fake tits and c*cks – do premarital customs have to be iffy?

bachelorSo you’re getting married, right? Well, done and welcome to the adult world where people prefer to go to bed before 10 PM, suffer from a hangover the next day after two glasses of wine and have a number of couple responsibilities (plus sex and cuddles on tap and a person in your life who doesn’t have a choice but to listen to ALL your complaints about life – let’s not forget about the advantages ;)). Before that happens you’re supposed to have the time of your life at your bachelor/bachelorette party… which brings me to the topic of today’s post. Do you really have to be sucking on a penis shaped ice lolly or visit a strip club? Nope! That’s your bloody party.

I have written before about conforming to the expectations of others. During you bachelor/bachelorette party it’s as important as ever, to make it about what you want. In other words, if the expectation of you as a man is to go to strip club and stare at fake tits you may decide you actually don’t find such objectification of a female body entertaining and you’re quite happy with the pair of boobs that’s soon to be yours happily ever after. In this case you should express such sentiment to you stag party organizers rather than just do whatever they want you too. Chances are, if you choose your friends in a way that actually matches your personality, you won’t even have to explain such things to them. If on the other hand, you have tons of insecurities and you have to prove to everyone that you’re a REAL man by staring at women who have no choice but to earn a living in this humiliating manner, then be my guest. Join everyone else I judge in my little black book called “Why Humans Make No Sense”.

Needless to say that expressing their preferences would be also advised for ladies. Somehow I doubt that all the ladies I’ve seen in my Facebook feed licking penis shaped objects was really having as much fun as the picture would suggest. Of course, we all have different ideas about fun and if you think that you pretending publicly you’re having sex with a chair is #bestmoment than I’m sure your bridesmaids can organize that. If not there’s a whole range of fun things you can do with your bridesmaids other than show your skills in giving blow jobs during the day that’s meant to be about female bonding (I think?). Alternatively, you may decide that the old school gender separation isn’t what you stand for and you want to have a mixed party for both of you. I had both – a separate hen/stag and a mixed party towards the end of the evening.

One thing one shouldn’t (and probably couldn’t) avoid in terms of being disgusting on a hen/stag night is drinking. Having far too many drinks will remind you why you strive for moderation in your everyday life and that you’re not 18 anymore (and if you are then run to the hills NOW, you have some life to experience before getting married!). Besides, there’s something about having too much alcohol with people you like and know that ends up with having fond memories about the event afterwards. That is, of course, after sobering up, puking and healing the post-alcohol pain of existence. Being silly and out of control is something we should do from time to time to shake up our routines.

To sum up, if you find rather disgusting bachelorette/bachelor party customs entertaining then indulge in them. However, if it’s not your vibe don’t force yourself to drink tequila shots of bartenders in Beefcakes or of strippers at Maverick’s. This night is about you and I do feel like showing people that you know what sex is about, before you get married, these days isn’t really necessary. Perhaps such customs come from the days when people (mostly women, let’s be honest) were still untouched. I’d google it but no one pays me for writing this blog so if you’re interested, just do it yourself.

So Dear Rinsers, what is your opinion about the modern premarital customs? Do people really enjoy all fake penises and breasts? Is it maybe just for show? Tell me what you think in the comments section. 

 

 

 

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6 comments

  1. bexoxo · May 9

    I’ve never wanted the typical bachelorette party; probably because I don’t have very many girl friends and I don’t like ‘going out.’ If I were to have a premarital party, I think it would be with my future spouse with mixed company, but then again, isn’t that what the wedding is for??

    I think it all depends on the type of person the bride or groom is. If they are the type to party, get trashed, and get into trouble, then the crude behavior associated with the typical hen/stag party would suit them just fine, and that’s okay. It’s just not for me.

    Liked by 3 people

    • zlotybaby · May 10

      That’s exactly how we felt about the completely mixed party idea: why to have a small wedding and then a big wedding. On the other hand, perhaps it’s a good idea in terms of people becoming acquainted with one another before the actual event. I think weddings tend to be a bit awkward cause a lot of guests don’t know each other and people stay in their little cliques.
      I’m fine with whatever people do really but I really often have the feeling that it’s not the real vibe of the bride/groom and they just do what’s expected of them (= get trashed, lick someone or something etc.)

      Liked by 3 people

  2. EttaD · May 16

    I think the party depends more on the person than the customs. What’s customary may not suit the taste of someone who has for better word, class! I know my friends and know the kind of parties they indulge in, so I don’t attend every Stag or Bridal party I’m invited too. The same goes for any other parties they may be hosting. So it’s completely up to the individual whether to attend or not attend a traditional hen or stag party 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    • zlotybaby · May 16

      I think younger people tend to be more prone to do whatever their peers encourage them to do. They just want to be cool and a traditional party is considered as such. I see much more diversity when it comes to customs with people 25+ 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • EttaD · May 16

        True! I think the 25+ crowd have been there, done that and know better their likes and dislikes.

        Liked by 2 people

      • zlotybaby · May 18

        😀

        Like

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