The Cock Lodger – Men Who ‘Date’ To Save on Rent

motivate_man

If you are the kinda girl who is searching for that traditional idea of happily ever after, people will probably warn against letting a guy stay over after the first (or second or third) date regardless how great the sparkles are. Agh, forget ‘people’, there are self-help guides written by professionals that letting a dude into your personal space to early on in a relationship just serves to show him how super keen you are and is, therefore, a recipe for disaster in the long run. There is no doubt that giving a partner access to your humble abode (and vice versa) is a pretty significant step. Someone’s home gives you a pretty intimate insight into them. Sure they can do a quick tidy-up and remove all traces of that secret wife and kids but if you stick around long enough you’ll find signs of who they really are. Naturally, inviting anyone into your home comes with a whole host of dangers (and no I’m not talking about the potential of them being a serial killer). Today Rinsers, I want to talk to you about Cock Lodgers, a special breed of the males species who comes over to stay the night and then NEVER leave.

It is common knowledge that millennials are pretty screwed when it comes to the property market. Most of our generation are probably never going to own property and its pretty ‘normal’ in cities like New York, London and Paris ย (and now even Cape Town) for ‘kids’ to stay living at home with their Olds well into their 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s in the hopes of saving up enough for a deposit on a shack to call their own. I’ve already voiced my views on the implications of this trend on a person’s prospects of holding down a healthy relationship. But there are also this growing breed of mama’s boys for whom property prices don’t feature in their decision to live at home – it’s all about staying close to the only woman who’ll wash their dirty boxers, pack their favourite lunches and even fetch the remote when he needs to change the TV channel.

Sure there are financial benefits (and others) for not having a place of your own but you can’t avoid the problems this can cause when it comes to dating, relationships and various other types of sexual encounters. Life would surely be more straightforward if you had some private space to take your latest squeeze home to, right? Yes but no but. You see these cunning little foxes out there who have found a way to play the system. Don’t have a place of your own? There is a simple solution. ‘Date’ a girl who does.

Of course, if you are part of the population who does value your independence and would rather opt to live on a diet of two-minute noodles for the rest of your days than live with Mummy and Daddy forevermore, then the decision to let another human into your precious castle is not one which should be taken lightly. Obviously, there comes a time in any blossoming relationship when one needs to remove the relationship from the public eye. If you happen to be dating someone who is pretty much your equal you’ll be faced with the simple question of your place or mine? You’ll take turns to have sleepovers and not much more needs to be said.

But how about when the dude your dating doesn’t really have a place of his own where the two of you can get up to no good without the prying eyes of his dear mama or possibly worse, he spends his life couch surfing from one friends sofa to the next until he outstays his welcome? Well… enter the cock lodger! A cock lodger can be defined as the type of guy who attaches himself to an independent, established woman and in return for his services in the bedroom (at a minimum) he expects to be given full squatting rights in her home.

It’ll all start out pretty innocently. He’ll stay over one night, then a whole weekend, slowly you’ll find him leaving his stuff around your place and claiming space in your wardrobe. Because he is about so much, a naive young lady maybe tempted to give him a set of keys. Of course, if his performance in bed is mindblowing and he does some basic DIY around the house one may convince themselves that this is a mutually beneficial arrangement. However, over time having a cock lodger squatting in your home and not pulling their weight financially in a ‘relationship’ becomes tiresome for even the most patient of women.

Chances are the moment he is given his marching orders will mark the end of this love affair as the Cock Lodger will need to start missioning to find his next victim (that or move back to his mama). In some cases, he may grovel and promise you the world (seriously, don’t fall foR it) or the worst case scenario he will fight back and try to make you out to be a heartless materialist, racist or some other hateful creature. Don’t listen. It’s just an opportunity for the Cock Lodger to pull you back in. The best way to get yourself out of this messy situation is to avoid confrontation. Sure it’s nice having a guy around the house (for security and reaching the high shelves) but do not negotiate. Remember you have bills to pay and if he can’t contribute he has to go. Having a Cock Lodger on your premises is just another form of transactional sex (if indeed you were getting serviced at all!). So change the locks. Go on holiday if you must. Stop indulging yet another weak man. Cock Lodger Be Gone!!!

Rinsers – Have you ever experienced a cock lodger (or whatever the female version is called)? How did you get rid of them? Is a cock lodger nothing more than a symptom of our times where mummy’s boy and lazy men take advantage of supposedly strong, capable but somewhat naive women? Comment below!

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9 comments

  1. bklynboy59 · April 20

    I don’t understand and maybe this is coming from an old school guy like me who didn’t think like theses guys think…first once I moved out of my parents house there was no going back to live there again…spend the night or the weekend yes I have done that on rare occasion but live there again?? wasn’t an option. Only time I moved in with a woman was when I dated my wife and she asked me to move in with her…not me just bullying my way in …wasn’t an option!!!! I think there in is the problem …if younger generations make it an option then you leave the door open for lazy men , mama’s boys and what nots to make themselves comfortable forcibly at your expense. Best way to deal with that???Don’t make coming over a option!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · April 20

      Well, if it works both ways then I don’t see the problem with sleepovers. But where it does become a problem is where staying over at your place is the only option is the issue. Moving in together as a formal arrangement that is discussed properly is a totally different thing altogether. But with the Cock Lodger – they do it incrementally – leaving clothes in your room, maybe then leaving their laptop, bringing over their bike (because chances are they won’t have a car!), etc, etc, etc.

      I do agree with you that the mindsets of men have really changed over the generations. It’s gone from men being the providers to them just totally giving up altogether to become lazy spongers.

      But to be fair, we’ve seen female gold diggers in operation as well. These pretty women that date elderly men from Camps Bay – not because they have life experience but because they have the money to buy these ladies botox and Louis Vuitton handbags.

      Like

      • bklynboy59 · April 20

        Leaving clothes in your room? Leaving their laptops? Really??? It’s like I told my daughter if you have no expectations then a man has no bounds. Meaning if they leave their clothes and laptop or anything else is because you allow it. If the man understands that if he leaves these items behind it will be desposed of to the nearest garbage. Chances are he will not be so quick to stake his claim in your home.

        Like

      • EnglishRosiee · April 20

        Wow ! You are harsh … disposing of a laptop. I might consider selling it though ๐Ÿ˜› But I like the way you think. Obviously, when you are bit smitten you let things slide but that’s also when the Cock Lodger goes in for the kill!!

        Liked by 2 people

      • bklynboy59 · April 20

        Not a matter of being harsh it’s a matter of setting boundaries that need to be respected

        Like

  2. vagueface · April 20

    On the subject of boundaries, what’s the protocol and procedure for asking the Rosie on a date?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. bexoxo · April 20

    Our generation (the millennials) are known for the highest number of boomerang children in history: offspring who leave the house after high school, and eventually come back to living with mom and dad. I think it largely has to do with the economic factor, but with laziness woven in there as well.

    When I was with my ex, he was required to live on campus during college, so I had a 1 bedroom apartment off campus. He would come hang out and leave some of his stuff around and I didn’t mind; we had been together for over 7 years at that point. But when he was out of school for summer, he would lounge around all day playing video games and whatever else while I worked 2 jobs to pay the bills. Any time I asked him to contribute, he would complain and make petty excuses like, ‘This is my break from college. I don’t want to waste it’ or ‘How about I buy dinner and you get everything else’ such as the rent, utilities, groceries… Things got pretty rocky around that point, and then we split.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. EnglishRosiee · April 20

    Thanks for taking the time to comment on the post ๐Ÿ™‚

    If they can’t pay their way then they shouldn’t stay – simple as. Ugh. It’s a good thing you a free of this Cock Lodger !!

    Liked by 2 people

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