Maybe He’s Not Prince Charming …

noprince

In the past I found myself becoming irate with those overly optimistic people who scatter conversations with cheesy gems such as ‘we don’t meet people by accident – they were meant to cross our paths for a reason!’. Really? Tell me, do you really need to cross paths with a wife beater to know you don’t enjoy being slapped about? And do you need to waste your precious child-bearing years with a broke-ass loser to realise there is nothing wrong with wanting to a date an old-fashioned guy who just wants to look after you and is willing to hold down a job to do that?  Honestly, there are some people whose existence in our lives is purely regrettable and no matter how important the lesson, we really could have found an alternative way to learn it without encountering half the fools that serve such purposes.

However, in my old age, I’m also learning to be a little bit more realistic about these things too. That famous relationship guru, Carrie Bradshaw once said that ‘Some love stories aren’t epic novels. Some are just short stories. But that doesn’t make them any less filled with love’. Hmm… I’m not sure about the last part (partly because I don’t like throwing the L-word around in reference to fleeting encounters) but she does have a point. Of course, there are those epic half-decade long romances – the sort of thing that could form the basis of a Hollywood movie, but as much as like minimise every single one of my +/- 50 Tinder guys, not all those short-term things need to be regarded as totally insignificant.

Obviously, there are people who completely turn your world upside down and make you relocate to the other side of the world. In such monumental cases, there is no denying that person’s impact/significance in your life regardless of whether things worked out happily ever after or not. Then there are stranger cases which require a bit more perspective.  It could be the hottie that for reasons you can’t put your finger on gives you a sense of déjà vu and despite being totally wrong for you on SO many levels does serve to make you realise that the ‘one that got away’ really wasn’t an anomaly and your crazy friend was right you really aren’t as much of a troll as you once thought. Score! Or your Valentine’s date of 2006 who suddenly makes a guest appearance in Season 5 of your sad little ‘love’ life. Sure, you may have written him off back then for being somewhat unhinged and of course, by now you know he isn’t your Prince Charming but perhaps he resurfaced simply to snap you out of some silly fantasy you’re stuck in and throw a few strategic tests your way.

So, what am I getting at here? No. I’m not saying you should reassess your each waster you’ve encountered in order to find value in their existence. As I said before most of the dates I’ve been on are simply forgettable, if not regrettable. Just don’t beat yourself up about things that failed. We all (eventually) discover our 20/20 hindsight. For something to have failed you had to have given it a shot as opposed to being a scardy cat/sad spinster. And sure, most of the people we date simply won’t be our Prince/ss Charming, but there are a still few of these randoms that will still play an important role in your story (even if it is simply to save you from digging yourself into an even deeper hole of despair and misery). So keep going, forget the forgettable ones, try not to overanalyse the mistakes and be thankful for those strange surprises who play an odd little supporting role in the story.

Rinsers. Do you believe that everyone you date has a lesson to teach you? Or is that practically impossible in the Tinder age where dating is nothing but a numbers game? Are there some encounters that are truly regretable? And finally even when you miss out on ‘happily ever after’ is it better to have some sort of experience than being the type of sad spinster that hibernates indoors with nothing but her dogs and a jar of peanut butter for company? Comment below!

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10 comments

  1. Plectrumm · March 23

    You can’t even begin to calculate all the occurrences that didn’t happen that lead up to you life. Imagine all the choices by all the people that turned out the way things have worked out? Fate…hardly😍

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · March 29

      Of course, you can be all sliding doors about it and be like if I hadn’t dated all of those 50 dud guys before I wouldn’t have met my Prince. But then again you could have also travelled the world with that time!

      Like

      • Plectrumm · March 29

        It’s called opportunity costs…and it’s not relevant to the future other than creating hindsight bias, which serves no useful purpose

        Liked by 1 person

      • EnglishRosiee · March 29

        I guess some experiences are more formative than others.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Plectrumm · March 29

        It’s how we use any experience that adds/subtracts from this moment. These are choices…and not happenstance 😎

        Liked by 1 person

  2. bklynboy59 · March 24

    Hmmmm See I do believe you do meet people for a reason , some are a season others are transitional leading you to someone else that is more in line with your soul. Yes there are some that are regrettable because they are forgettable. I do think you cheapen those lessons you talked about when you date by the numbers because you become a slave to a pattern and not even realize it until …In my own experience I know some have given up on me knowing full well they were missing on their happily ever after …but that is ok because all of what I went through brought me to a good place today in my life.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · March 27

      I get what you are saying. People date as if it is a sport and its like expecting every person you pass on the street to be of significance. Impossible. There are dates that I can’t remember and after sometime they merge into one. Although I’ve been pretty well-behaved this 2017 and only been on one Tinder date. 😛 I get the sentiment behind this idea of even bad experiences providing good lessons but not always….let’s be honest.

      Like

  3. Hopelessly Romantic Cinderella · April 25

    Yeah, all of those people you date for a certain period of time does serve a purpose and teach your something either about yourself or the world in general. You’ve just gotta look for the lessons I guess.

    Like

    • EnglishRosiee · April 25

      Yep and some of those lessons just need to be repeated before we actually take heed!

      Like

  4. Pingback: “Cushioning” and When to Delete Dating Apps | rinse before use

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