#richpeopleproblems : Can Being Born Wealthy Be A Curse in the Dating World?

wealth

Money makes the world go round. Or so they say. It’s also seen by some as the root of all evil. I don’t know about if either of these statements rings true but recently, I’ve started thinking about the problems that come with having too much money when it comes to dating and relationships. Obviously, we are all aware of the pressure that lack of money can put on a relationship and the way in which differing financial priorities can cause friction between people. But it’s quite rare for us average guys and girls to stop and think about the ways in which a person’s wealth can also be an obstacle when it comes to our search for happily ever after.

So what got me thinking about this somewhat obscure topic? Well, I recently read an article in the New York Times about Mary Landon Baker, an American socialite who never wed despite receiving 65 marriage proposals. The journalist concluded by saying that the Mary stayed single not because she was ‘shy’ as people had believed back in the 1920s but because the money she had been born into/inherited later in life bought her the freedom to be picky and not simply settle for a ‘nice guy’ who offered her financial security. To her credit, the socialite explained away her single status by saying:’ I did not marry because I did not meet the right man at the right time at the right place.’ 

To be honest, I think this story is a bit of an anomaly, especially considering there were probably lots of ladies in a similar position who would have accepted at least one of those 65 eligible bachelors. But one does have to question how much we are driven to settle down/for someone who offers us financial security? Obviously, times have changed and now with the rise of the Alpha Female we do see the tables turning somewhat.  Of course, decisions about who we pursue aren’t solely driven by money but does being born into wealth really give us more ‘freedom’ when it comes to our dating decisions? Hmmm… I’m sceptical.

Of course having money may give us access to a broader range of people. Let’s be honest for most of us dating down is easier than trying to wangle our way into some fabulous socialite party. And we all know (from our experience on dating apps) about the problem of having too much choice when it comes to who we date and then never ever being truly satisfied with anyone even when they tick 41 out of our 42 boxes ;).  Sure, having too much choice can be overwhelming for some, but I think there are more pressing #richpeopleproblems that aristocrats have to deal with.

Firstly, there is the challenge that comes with trying to establish another person’s motives for dating you.  While for most average Joes/Janes we may simply question whether a suitor just wants us for a bit of sexual satisfaction, rich people need to consider their financial assets as well as their physical ones. It reminds me of this reality series called Undercover Princesses/Princes where royalty from obscure no-name kingdoms disguised themselves as normal plebs in an attempt to find people that would love them for who they are rather than for their status/wealth. I guess it’s not something that most of us working guys/girls have to think about though.

Then there is the flipside. Here we are assuming that just because a person has money (and the freedom of choice that it can buy) they would automatically be the catch in the relationship. Not necessarily. I’ve had a couple of conversations recently where upon reflection my friends and I decided that as soul-destroying as our jobs can become at times, the fact that we have to work may actually be a blessing in disguise.  I’m sure you’ve encountered the type, dear Rinser, the well-meaning trust fund kid. You know the ones I’m talking about – people who live in a parallel universe where their biggest worry is sitting in front of a washing machine cycle so they can reuse the water to feed their herbs (true story!) and their greatest achievement is discovering the meaning of life while holding that special yoga position 😉

As awesome as it might to be wealthy, I think most of us average folk would lose our minds trying to date such spoilt brats with no sense of reality.  The fact that by the age of 30 they are yet to realise that there is no such thing as a free lunch means that they’ll probably never cut that umbilical cord that forever connects them to the Bank of Mum and Dad.  Of course, wealth can be used in a manner which enhances a person and makes them a more well-rounded, attractive prospect in the dating arena (I’m talking about perhaps using it to pursue education or set up a business rather than plastic surgery – but whatever floats your boat) then it’s all good. But from what I’ve seen the sad reality is that when people have not had to work because they have more money than they know what to do with it results in them lacking direction – and for most of us this is an unattractive feature.

So now, it’s over to you dear Rinsers. Do you think that having too much money/money you haven’t earned yourself more of a curse than a blessing when it comes to dating? Or do you think that for some people like Mary Landon Baker money can buy you the freedom not to settle for anyone who is less than spectacular? And should that even be our end goal? Thoughts in the comments section below.

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8 comments

  1. bklynboy59 · February 2

    Considering that for many of us who aren’t born rich or born into money the question seems a little out of sorts. I couldn’t say if it was a curse or a blessing since I wasn’t born into money. I will say the example of the lady who never married …money was a factor but it wasn’t the sole factor. I think she was more picky and like you said wanted someone spectacular and when nobody was …well she stayed single. Not once did she say she didn’t find someone she could love or who could love her back. That should be the main focus love not money

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · February 2

      Yup! I know the question doesn’t apply to most of us but it is something interesting to ponder.

      Obviously, love should always be the focus. But in reality money/class does come into the equation to an extent. It is a sad reality.

      Like

  2. geminilvr · February 2

    No matter how much money she had the fact that she was looking for someone spectacular raised her standards so high it would be impossible to find someone to love. No matter your financial status, you need to be able to accept someone for who they are not how much money they bring to the table.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · February 2

      The thing is would a person who was poorer/had to spend their days working therefore was more likely to have a better grip on reality have so much time to looking for perfection in a partner? Sometimes normal people are so stressed with the day-to-day they are more likely to accept someone with flaws.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. bexoxo · February 2

    I understand why someone in a wealthy position may want to hide their worth when dating, but what if, in such circumstance, the suitor finds out about the money, and feels as though they can no longer trust the wealthy suitor? Their potential relationship is then classified as being built on a bad foundation with lack of trust.
    That being said, people of certain social classes tend to flock together; that’s proven fact. So the chances of a wealthy person begin a relationship with a less wealthy person is lower then one probably thinks.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · February 7

      Yeah I think once you start lying and the other person finds out they’ll question everything you say.

      Let me tell you a little story. I once dated this guy for a few weeks. I wasn’t interested much but I needed a plus one for a wedding and he seemed to tick most of the boxes (although he lived with his mum – BIG RED FLAG). Despite my best efforts after I met his racist mother and he subsequently revealed his true colours as well I decided I couldn’t carry on this farcical relationship any longer and ended it. At which point he lost it (in the street) and started shouting at me – saying that he didn’t really live with his mum but actually had a penthouse in a very nice part of town. I don’t really know what he expected to achieve! He must have either thought I would start grovelling and beg him for forgiveness (I don’t think there is anyone in this world who could be that gold digger-ish)!

      The truth is it wouldn’t have mattered. Having more money and a penthouse apartment wouldn’t have made me like him anymore. If hypothetically speaking I did actually like him then finding out he had lied would have meant I could no longer trust the fool. Lose/Lose Situation!

      Liked by 1 person

      • bexoxo · February 7

        Wow. What a story! Glad you were able to see his true colors before you got too vested in the relationship.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. charleybflint · February 13

    Poor little rich kids with noone to love them! Boo hoo! Maybe they can just get mumma and pops to pay for a therapist or sex therapist – both options work I guess!

    Like

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