Money makes the world go round. Or so they say. It’s also seen by some as the root of all evil. I don’t know about if either of these statements rings true but recently, I’ve started thinking about the problems that come with having too much money when it comes to dating and relationships. Obviously, we are all aware of the pressure that lack of money can put on a relationship and the way in which differing financial priorities can cause friction between people. But it’s quite rare for us average guys and girls to stop and think about the ways in which a person’s wealth can also be an obstacle when it comes to our search for happily ever after.
So what got me thinking about this somewhat obscure topic? Well, I recently read an article in the New York Times about Mary Landon Baker, an American socialite who never wed despite receiving 65 marriage proposals. The journalist concluded by saying that the Mary stayed single not because she was ‘shy’ as people had believed back in the 1920s but because the money she had been born into/inherited later in life bought her the freedom to be picky and not simply settle for a ‘nice guy’ who offered her financial security. To her credit, the socialite explained away her single status by saying:’ I did not marry because I did not meet the right man at the right time at the right place.’
To be honest, I think this story is a bit of an anomaly, especially considering there were probably lots of ladies in a similar position who would have accepted at least one of those 65 eligible bachelors. But one does have to question how much we are driven to settle down/for someone who offers us financial security? Obviously, times have changed and now with the rise of the Alpha Female we do see the tables turning somewhat. Of course, decisions about who we pursue aren’t solely driven by money but does being born into wealth really give us more ‘freedom’ when it comes to our dating decisions? Hmmm… I’m sceptical.
Of course having money may give us access to a broader range of people. Let’s be honest for most of us dating down is easier than trying to wangle our way into some fabulous socialite party. And we all know (from our experience on dating apps) about the problem of having too much choice when it comes to who we date and then never ever being truly satisfied with anyone even when they tick 41 out of our 42 boxes ;). Sure, having too much choice can be overwhelming for some, but I think there are more pressing #richpeopleproblems that aristocrats have to deal with.
Firstly, there is the challenge that comes with trying to establish another person’s motives for dating you. While for most average Joes/Janes we may simply question whether a suitor just wants us for a bit of sexual satisfaction, rich people need to consider their financial assets as well as their physical ones. It reminds me of this reality series called Undercover Princesses/Princes where royalty from obscure no-name kingdoms disguised themselves as normal plebs in an attempt to find people that would love them for who they are rather than for their status/wealth. I guess it’s not something that most of us working guys/girls have to think about though.
Then there is the flipside. Here we are assuming that just because a person has money (and the freedom of choice that it can buy) they would automatically be the catch in the relationship. Not necessarily. I’ve had a couple of conversations recently where upon reflection my friends and I decided that as soul-destroying as our jobs can become at times, the fact that we have to work may actually be a blessing in disguise. I’m sure you’ve encountered the type, dear Rinser, the well-meaning trust fund kid. You know the ones I’m talking about – people who live in a parallel universe where their biggest worry is sitting in front of a washing machine cycle so they can reuse the water to feed their herbs (true story!) and their greatest achievement is discovering the meaning of life while holding that special yoga position 😉
As awesome as it might to be wealthy, I think most of us average folk would lose our minds trying to date such spoilt brats with no sense of reality. The fact that by the age of 30 they are yet to realise that there is no such thing as a free lunch means that they’ll probably never cut that umbilical cord that forever connects them to the Bank of Mum and Dad. Of course, wealth can be used in a manner which enhances a person and makes them a more well-rounded, attractive prospect in the dating arena (I’m talking about perhaps using it to pursue education or set up a business rather than plastic surgery – but whatever floats your boat) then it’s all good. But from what I’ve seen the sad reality is that when people have not had to work because they have more money than they know what to do with it results in them lacking direction – and for most of us this is an unattractive feature.
So now, it’s over to you dear Rinsers. Do you think that having too much money/money you haven’t earned yourself more of a curse than a blessing when it comes to dating? Or do you think that for some people like Mary Landon Baker money can buy you the freedom not to settle for anyone who is less than spectacular? And should that even be our end goal? Thoughts in the comments section below.