My dear friend #zlotybaby will tell you that my (not so secret) favourite observation is to see someone (a friend, enemy, frenemy, ex boyfriend, etc – actually pretty much anyone) I know get FAT. I know it’s wrong (feel free to hate on me in the comments section) but I think it’s probably something to do with my own issues that stem from having been a super fat kid. But honestly, I doubt I am the only one that thinks this way. The truth is we live in a highly superficial world where wit and charm will only get you so far, never more so than when it comes to dating. It really does help to be attractive especially when it comes to grabbing the attention of the opposite sex. This leads me to today’s the topic – The Revenge Body.
The Revenge Body is the concept of people focusing on losing weight/changing their looks with the objective of getting ‘revenge’ on the person that hurt them. In most cases that people is an ex and the transformation happens after the break up and is intended to grab the attention of said ex, and make him/her realise exactly what the lost. This idea has recently become quite the hot topic thanks to Khloe Kardashian’s new reality series which was inspired by her own transformation after the breakdown of her relationship to Lamar Odom.
From what I can tell the clips you can find on YouTube the transformations people go through as part of the show certainly seem to make them happy/more confident (although that could just be good editing!). However, one does have to question how long-term these changes are? Or if we look back in a couple of years these people would have just gone back to being their old selves fat, brokenhearted and with zero self esteem.
The period following a break up is certainly difficult and I most definitely believe that finding yourself a positive distraction from the pain of the heartbreak is a good thing. It could be learning to play the guitar, taking a trip round the world (well one can always strive to be Julia Roberts in Eat, Pray, Love) or training for a marathon. All of the things listed above are better than negative alternatives that could so easily indulged in after being ceremoniously dumped including but not limited to the following : drinking gin like it’s going out of fashion, sleeping for 20 hours a day with the hope of never waking up or shagging up a storm with anyone/everyone that’ll have you.
However, even worse than these waste-of-time negative activities is doing ANYTHING with the intention of winning someone back or making them think twice about what they lost. The truth if you were in any sort of meaningful relationship that ex probably loved you for more than just your body (you’d hope!). And even if I’m romanticising things here – do you really want to be with someone who only sees your worth when you become a hotter version of your current self?
Speaking from experience, having probably been on a one diet or another since I was about 10 years old, for some of us keeping your weight in check is something that requires lots of hard work and dedication. It’s not something that is going to happen over night and believe me as soon as you start to get comfortable and take your eye of the ball…BOOM all that effort will be lost and you will be a SUPER FATTY again. For this reason I think anyone hoping to make any kind of transformation needs to have the right mindset and be doing it for the right reasons. And sure sometimes the weight loss/gain post-break up (yup I’ve had it go both ways) happens without you having to make much effort but people investing in expensive gym memberships, personal trainers, nutritionists and even plastic surgeons – well, that is another story altogether.
Shallow motivations such as getting yourself a hot body as a form of ‘revenge’ isn’t a long term plan. What happens after you achieved your end goal? If your plan works – the douche sees you as a Skinny Minnie and is instantly remorseful, gets down on one knee and pops the question? Do you really think it’ll end in happily ever after? And what if all your hard work doesn’t give you the result you wanted? What if he doesn’t even notice? Or even tells you how great you look but then carries on with his new chick? It seems to me like whether or not your ex sees you differently it’s pretty much going to to be a happy NEVER after situation.
To conclude, I am not by any means telling people not to lose weight, get fit and look fabulous. Finding ways to feel good about yourself is often just what we need after having our hearts smashed to smithereens. But whatever you do to make yourself feel better it needs to be done for the right reasons and certainly not to get ‘revenge’ on someone who hurt you. I’ll leave you with some advice given to me by an old (slightly pervy) Irish guy during one of my post-break up periods : ‘Do what makes YOU happy and gives YOU fulfillment in YOUR life. And hopefully then you’ll attract the right person’.
Alrighty Rinsers. Your thoughts on the concept of The Revenge Body? Is it promoting a healthy lifestyle or a step back for body positivity? Have you ever actively tried to improve yourself after a break up? And how much did your decision to do so have