It’s good real love isn’t like in romantic comedies

romcoms

from the frisky.com

I’m not a big fan of romantic comedies. I think that one tends to be more interested in this sort of cinema when he or she is experiencing a heartbreak and is rather down. A happy singleton or a content coupled person doesn’t usually binge on romantic comedies. Unless of course, like in my case, your country of origin produces copious amounts of romcoms and they’re what’s on offer in a Christmas parcel sent by your mom. After watching a few of these recently I realised that no wonder I pined for love “just like in the movies” when I was a teenager as the vision of it presented on the screen is temptingly unhealthy.

First of all, there’s the indecisiveness hidden under the name of romanticism. Starting with the poor Mr Darcy from the Bridget Jones series who’s stuck in horribly boring relationship, the whole list of romcoms male characters  often marries the horrible women who are not really who they should be with. They didn’t really make an adult decision to be with them, it just happened. The One who they truly need is the protagonist whom we’re supposed to support in her quest for True Love (also referred to as destroying someone else’s relationship). The love interest of the protagonist is either a sociopath who’s been in a relationship faking his feelings for years or he’s emotionally unstable and waits in a relationship he doesn’t want for something better to come his way in fear of ever being single. Either way what sort of happily ever after awaits the protagonist? What is to say that after the One, the Two won’t come along?

Secondly, many romantic characters are extremely impulsive. All these scenes of people chasing each other on the train stations are very dramatic and one may shed a tear but let’s not forget that it’s just a movie. In real life people don’t change their minds about someone so impulsively and it’s a good thing. Relationships are not about this one right thing you’ve said or done. It’s about how you are in general as a person and towards your future or current partner. No one who’s even remotely sane will decide to be with you because he saw you with another guy, similarly a partner won’t leave you because you said something hurtful one time. Real love is based on real emotions and these need time to be built and strengthen. You can’t just change it all immeidately. Movie love is based on impressions about the person rather than on the knowledge about who they really are. Last but not least, often in romcoms I have an impression that the characters are governed by lust. This would be fine if they were making a choice for a one night stand but NOT for a forever after.

I’m not trying to say here that there’s something wrong with watching romcoms. They can sometimes be entertaining! It’s just about not taking what we see on the screen as a blueprint of a proper romantic behavior as they’re this sort of fiction that’s not meant to render real life. Also I must say I wish more money was going into making a bit more realistic movies that deal with genuine emotions. Unfortunately too many people do seem what they see on TV or in the cinema as the ideal that should be aspired to.

 

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7 comments

  1. bklynboy59 · November 8, 2016

    If and when romcoms are based on real life then people complain that they want the Disney version of love …the Prince Charming etc,… I will say this ,real love can be magical on it’s own and not like in the movies

    Liked by 1 person

    • zlotybaby · November 8, 2016

      There’s definitely something magical in two people finding each other in this world given how many different people they are, the chances of them being single when they meet etc. Love has its own beauty and I don’t feel there’s a need to sugarcoat it and make it unrealistic on the screen. Its the romcoms that are to blame for a generation of girls hoping for a man to save them from themselves.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. EnglishRosiee · November 8, 2016

    Ugh. Of course, real life isn’t all fun and laughter like in the rom coms. But these movies serve a purpose beyond simple entertainment.

    When you’ve been on +/- 50 Tinder dates as I have and your dating life is basically a comedy in itself (because with most of these guys the ROMANTIC factor is lacking and they are just JOKES) they give you a bit of hope (albeit false sometimes) and maybe something to strive for. i mean if Bridget managed to bag herself a Darcy, there is hope for all the chubby, slightly awkward girls out there!

    Plus real life is boring – watching people do the dishes, arguing about the bills, etc wouldn’t really make for good movies. It’s all about running through the streets half naked and into the arms of a dashing young Prince 😛

    Liked by 1 person

    • zlotybaby · November 8, 2016

      I think there are lots of beautiful stories of love out there that just aren’t unrealistic. The movies about love should be uplifting but not necessarily in the romcom way. I’d like to see a movie about a woman who had it rough but manage to solve her issues for instance (and not see yet another Prince Charming solving them for her). The reason why Bridget wouldn’t land herself a Darcy isn’t her looks or awkwardness but the fact that they have little in common. I’m just not buying his puppy look at Bridget when his parents announce they’ll get married with Natasha. He’s an adult and he’s behaving like a poor little boy for whom everyone makes decisions.

      Like

  3. Pingback: Stop Tinder Hating! – Why It’s Time To Accept The Realities of Modern Dating | rinse before use

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