Being part of the Tinder generation, we are all well aware that we live in a world of endless possibilities. The girl is pretty but you don’t like her curly locks. SWIPE AGAIN. The guy ticks all the right boxes but he isn’t quite 6 foot. SWIPE AGAIN. She has a lazy eye. SWIPE AGAIN. He doesn’t have a tertiary education. JUST KEEP SWIPING.
If you are an open-minded Brit girl, who doesn’t think is god’s gift to men and isn’t afraid of STRANGER DANGER like her South Africa counterparts, landing yourself a date really isn’t a big deal and you’ll soon find yourself Tindering up a storm. You may lose 30 minutes of your life that you’ll never get back but what they hell, you probably needed that glass of wine anyway. Right? Well, this sort of attitude is fine in theory. Lining up those dates is all well and good. But speaking from experience, there really does come a point where you begin to question your sanity and wonder if happily ever after is just a fictitious concept conjured up by Disney to sell movies.
Choice isn’t always a good thing. It can actually be more of a curse especially in an age where people are never seem to be satisfied and are always trying to find something/someone who is that little bit more perfect. So in today’s post I’ll be asking whether keeping our options open is always the ‘safest’ approach to dating or whether there comes a time when one should simply delete that god-awful Tinder profile and give a someone a fair chance to prove their Prince/Princess Charming credentials?
Just recently I was chatting to a friend of mine who always seems to have something in the works with at least 5 women simultaneously. What a Lothario! But has he found true love? A stable relationship? A FWB, even? NO! Well this time he claimed he REALLY liked he liked the chick and I was happy to see a glimmer of hope for this one settling down instead of forever playing the field. So I suggested he focus solely on her, ask her out on a proper date and give himself a chance at happily ever after? His response : ‘Well it is like going for job interviews. You don’t just go to one banking on it to be positive. You have to go to as many as possible and hope you are shortlisted. Then they get back to you asking if you accept the offer. Then it is salary negotiations, etc… ‘ Sigh!
Seriously?! The sad thing is I don’t think our Lothario is the only one who thinks this way. Keeping your options open is an option followed by most people. I myself am guilty of doing it on many occasions. I guess the reasoning behind it is fair enough – most of us (who aren’t social recluses or 30-something virgins) have been hurt in the past and not allowing ourselves to put all our eggs in one basket is essentially just a defence mechanism to stop us having our hearts broken yet again.
Although I get the logic behind such self-preservation, I believe that finding truly love does involve some inherent risks and unless we are willing to truly let go of Plans B, C and D I don’t think we really give ourselves a fighting chance of making a go of things with our Plan A. Regardless of whether things work out or not, you’ll sleep better at night knowing you gave it your best shot. Naturally we are worried about the humiliation of taking a risk and having it backfire. And of course there are a few haters out there who’ll have a little giggle at such misfortunes but people in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones because if you dig deep enough you’ll find most people that criticise others are probably stuck in loveless relationships or have serious issues of their own. At the end of the day the people that do matter will give you the support to take those risks and they’ll even be there to pick up the pieces should things not go to plan. So just give up the back-up plans and focus all your intention on Prince/Princess Charming (and just remember if they do turn out to be just another frog you can simply re-download Tinder with a clear conscience).
So Rinsers share your thoughts. Do you think having too much choice could be a curse? How does one know when to give up the other options (or simply stop swiping)? Do you think there is some value to treating our love lives like we do our career prospects? And does keeping your options open really lessen the blow of heartache? Answers and wisdom in the comments section below.