Thoughts on Pillow Talk


Communication is key in all types of human relationship. Whether it’s a marriage or just a short-term FWB arrangement – being able to vocalise your thoughts and feelings with the other party contributes greatly to the success of the interaction. The inability to communicate well can lead to misunderstandings and arguments further down the line. Don’t worry I’m not planning on going all serious on you in this post and talking about all those grown-up forms of communication such as relationship counselling and the like, instead I’ll keep things light and fluffy as I discuss this thing called Pillow Talk.

While there is certainly no clear definition for what the term actually entails, most sources agree that it’s the intimate conversation you have with someone in bed. Whether or not it happens before or after copulation is unclear or even whether it has to involve the deed at all. But chances are it does involve minimal clothing. The movies tell us that Pillow Talk is where people lose all inhibitions (well they’ve already lost all their clothes so why not?) and reveal their innermost secrets.  But in an age where people hook up with a different person every other day is this Pillow Talk really such a big deal?

Of course, the situation for people in committed relationships/ happy marriages is very different where whispering sweet nothings to your partner may actually be of some significance. The moment could also strategically used to broach those contentious issues such as whose turn it is do the dishes or whether the time has come for the two of you to get a puppy 😉 (this is a very important conversation!). Just try to refrain from nagging on your partners head.

For the romantically less fortunate among us however, bearing all and making such honest disclosures could result in some major regrets on the morning after night before.  Lets just say be careful who trust, you may be tricked into thinking you are going to bed with the soul of discretion only to realise the next morning that you’ve woken up beside one of Cape Town’s biggest gossips (who perhaps even blogs about such experiences).

On the other hand, if you are the sort of person who is partial to a one night stand, I guess if the other party is willing to lend you their ear you could always use Pillow Talk as a form of therapy. Use the time wisely to bitch and moan about the pitfalls of modern romance, whinge about the one that got away or blame horrible mean lesbians for breaking your spirit . Alternatively, you could use those precious post-coital moments to discuss the weather, the state of global politics or the meaning of life. Whatever takes your fancy really.

Clearly, Pillow Talk has the potential to be a lot of things depending on the two (or more – if you are into swinging, threesomes, etc) parties involved. Regardless of whether it’s a loveless marriage where you have to schedule weekly bedroom activity sessions, a committed relationship, a trusty FWB arrangement, or a crazy hot one nighter, it is good to (pillow) talk. Communication is important and necessary if we are to establish successful relationships so try to use the opportunity strategically, be pragmatic and don’t be one of those people who does the deed then turns around to fall asleep. That’s just rude and your mother taught you better than that 😛

Alrighty Rinsers it’s time for you to share your thoughts of Pillow Talk. Is it important? Or just a waste of time? What are the best, worst and most random Pillow Talk conversations you’ve ever had? Share your stories in the comments section below.  


  1. Call me selfish on this one. If I’m not falling asleep right way, I’m reading a book and don’t want to be interrupted. Was never into pillow talk much, while playing the field maybe, because it was the only place it seems guys were serious enough to divulge their true intentions. Now don’t get me wrong, there is communication in my relationship outside of the bedroom, long drives, picnics etc. I’m already sharing my bed with you, so allow me to enjoy my side of the bed as much as you do yours! Remember empires were conquered and destroyed, wars were started and men were beheaded over pillow talk 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Jeez EnglishRosiee why would you want to share your innermost secrets with a one nighter….as you say who knows what they might do with them. Or to have sex and then go into a rant unless he was a chauvinist pig and the sex was crap. Surely its about keeping the mood. Maybe its a time to gently explore the others feelings interests excitements fantasies.
    As for using pillow talk to broach whose turn it is too load the dishwasher Nooooo!
    If you have had good sex it destroys the mood….maybe indicates that you were using sex as a softening up tool….rather than for pleasure…which kind of destroys trust imo!
    I think the bedroom should be kept as a happy shared space wherever possible…..good sex…but also a place of trust and security . Keep everything else to other rooms. eEnjoyed the piece made me laugh have this mental image if you ranting at some man about your boss… politics or whatever is exercising your brain as he lies captive. X


    • Haha ! Glad I entertained you … but it wasn’t all my personal experiennce. I am not an advocate of the one nighter, especially here in South Africa.

      This was just some general thoughts on the post-shag conversations people have.

      Liked by 1 person

      • No I realised some of it was suggestions and written to provoke. People have many post shag conversations…but I just feel its a shame to shatter a relaxed connected period with angst and controversy….time and place at least for me!
        Seriously though in a long term relationship I really believe that you need an area kept for trust and relaxation ….free from disputes and friction and I favour the bedroom others will prefer somewhere different or think its tosh! Lol

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I think pillow talk is important…it gives you the chance to rate your partner “you know what” game. Though seriously we wouldn’t tell them their bad even if we knew. One of the best blogs i have read today

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Communication is so important, if the timing is right and you are on the same level. For me, or for us (me and my husband) we communicated to much in the beginning of our relationship. We talked all the time, in bed and out of bed, shared everything. All was good until I had a different opinion. I noticed while my voice got weaker and weaker, his was getting stronger and stronger. We shared and talked about everything, we shared to much, he was and still is a strong headed man, who believe his way is the correct way at any cost. Anyway, what I want to add to all this is communication is absolutely awesome when it is preformed in a healthy way! regardless if it is in bed or outside. Just remember that it should be om equal terms all the time!

    Liked by 1 person

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