As much as us singletons bitch and moan about our loveless lives and the pitfalls of modern dating, the fact is much of that drama is brought on ourselves and could be avoided if we stopped chasing trouble. Thankfully, in more progressive countries women can function perfectly well (if not better) without a man by their side. But there does come a time when sadly everyone, even those who claim to be happily single, are forced to partner up.
Formal events, particularly weddings, become regular features on our social calenders as we hit our 30s and such occasions often require you to have a plus one. For those that are married or in a committed relationship this requirement really doesn’t pose much of a problem (well, unless your significant other is a socially awkward recluse – but that’s a story for a separate post). But for a singleton receiving such an invite with dreaded words PLUS ONE poses a whole host of issues.
Firstly, it reminds you that you are hopelessly single. While it may seem like you are one of the few people that are excluded from that special club aka the coupleverse – you really aren’t so just stop being a drama queen/king! Sure if you are brave you can play the free agent card and go it alone but that’s not always going to be the case and sometimes you’ll just have to suck it up and convince someone to be your plus one.
Next, finding a suitable plus one that, a) won’t make a scene and embarrass you and b) won’t read too much into such an invite and see it as a opportunity to get their leg over, is easier that done.One’s outlook will definitely effect your approach to finding the right person for the job. Some may simply see it as a opportunity for an all expenses paid date. Other times you may need your plus one to put on his/her superhero cape and protect you from that frenemy or SWF you know will be on a mission to bask in the glory of seeing your sad and single. Then on the best occasions, the plus ones will just be there to laugh at your speech, booze with you and generally be good value. Whatever the case, it is important for the plus one to understand their role and for everyone’s expectations are managed properly.
Sometimes the pressure to find a plus one can really cause us to act stupidly. It’s actually quite crazy the lengths we’ll go to have someone hold our hand in a room full of pairs. I’ve heard stories of the lastminute.com types hitting up Tinder on the morning of an event and taking the first available match that comes along. In theory it could fun, and of course it’ll be a cool story to tell if it works out in your favour but all I see is so so so much potential for disaster ! But this is not the worst act of stupidity that comes to mind, the thought of needing to fill a plus one quota could make a even a usually sensible girl consider prolonging an encounter with a racist mama’s boy due to to the fear of having to fly solo (thankfully, she did come to her senses in the end!).
To conclude, as wedding season approaches many of us will face the agony of finding a person that is socialised enough to be seen with at a public event. As hard as it may seem at times it is important that you don’t let your sad single status result in a complete mental breakdown. Always keep the bigger picture in mind – remember your choices could have wider social repercussions.Whatever you do choose wisely and carefully, try not to commit social suicide by pitching up with someone who acts raving lunatic that has been let out of Valkenberg for the evening and most importantly make sure your plus one is someone who doesn’t take life too seriously and knows how to have fun. Sometimes its just a case of thinking outside the box a little.
Rinsers – Have you ever agonized over finding a plus one for a function? Has the pressure ever caused you to do something stupid? Do you have any advice for any singletons looking to survive such occasions? Share you success/horror stories in the comments below.