For Richer For Poorer – How Much Does Money Matter ?

Money

 

For some it makes the world go round and for others it is the root of all evil. Wherever you stand on the matter of money, I think we’d all have to agree that while copious amounts of it can’t buy happiness, it certainly helps us all function a little bit better. In today’s post I’m going to discuss whether money matters in dating and relationships. And at the risk of sounding like a heartless cow/gold digger I’m going to argue that money does matter in more ways than one.

Princesses and Paupers

In the happy clappy world of Disney a street urchin like Aladdin can hook up with Princess. But let’s be real – could you even begin to imagine a decidedly average middle class businesswoman dating a car guard? Not likely. Does it make her a bad person? Not really. People from different income groups occupy different worlds and while those worlds do cross (e.g when the lady quickly gives the car guard R5 for looking after her vehicle) these interactions are rarely meaningful. Sure maybe there are some instances where people from different walks of life have fallen in love and lived happily ever after but this is hardly the norm. The truth is we usually end up dating people that are part of our little reality, people who frequent the same places and who share similar interests – all of which we often only have access to because of cash money !!!!

 

Money Can’t Buy Love

If someone truly loves you, it’s not too much to expect them to stand through a financial crisis. Right? Of course, but everyone has their breaking point. Imagine dating a unemployed bum whose idea of a HOT date is inviting you over to Netflix and Chill at his folks house. This was fine when we were 12 (and also unemployed and broke) but everyone wants more in their 30s. Yes, we live in the 21st century where women can pay for a night out but remember he is jobless (and has been so for the past few years already) so she’ll likely be picking up the tab for evermore. Eventually, even the nicest of girls will call time of such a relationship.

Scrooges

Then there are those situations where both parties have similar incomes but it’s the way they choose to spend it that differs. She wants to explore the world and he wants to save up for a rainy day. Or he is the type of guy that enjoys spoiling the people he loves, while she counts every penny people owe her and always insist they go Dutch on the bill. Money is important to different people for different reasons – some enjoy looking at a fat bank balance and others enjoy the freedom that money can buy them. Neither party is wrong per se but can such relationships where one party is significantly more ‘stingy’ than the other really survive in the long-term? What happens when your significant other’s spending habits become a major source of irritation?

New Money vs Old Money

But money isn’t just money is it? Some are born in to wealth and grow up enjoying the finer things in life; they take these things in their stride without thinking too much of it all. Other people may have come into money through hard work and determination or some other twist of fate. Some people try to play down their wealth while others feel the need to make sure everyone knows they have ARRIVED by wearing the latest designer fashion, driving a fancy car and bragging about their R120, 000 Breitling watch. This type of wealth might be attractive to some people, while others may just think it’s downright tacky and cringe at such common behaviour.

xxx

So it’s pretty clear that money does matter in the world of dating and relationships. From the types of people we end up dating to the problems caused by the lack of money in a relationship, money does have the potential to make or break a couple. However, on closer inspection, I think that the thing that matters more than money itself is a person’s attitude towards it. Lack of money becomes less of an issue if you have a significant other who is out there every day looking for job opportunities. And on the flipside, someone could be a millionaire but if they constantly need to remind the world of their wealth by shouting about how much they earn  their ‘million dollar’ existence becomes more of an embarrassment to everyone around them. So, essentially I don’t think it’s about how much money one has or doesn’t have but about two people having similar attitudes towards wealth and about them sharing certain visions for the future, that the cash will enable them to have.

Over to you rinsers. Does money matter in a relationship? Do people usually end up dating their financial equal? Have you had experiences where money (or lack thereof) has been the downfall of a relationship? Answers in the comments section below.

 

 

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17 comments

  1. bklynboy59 · August 11, 2016

    I was in a relationship where she made 3 times the money I made. I didn’t know that when we first met. When she did disclose how much she made, it became more of a issue for her than for me. She felt she carried the relationship financially and asked if I would be opened to being a kept man. I have always worked and earned my keep so to be a kept man didn’t appeal to me. In time…it was the main reason she broke up with me. Feeling I wasn’t her equal financially was unsettling for her. Does that mean it will be like in any other relationships? No. My wife makes more than me but it isn’t a issue in our relationship. So I guess based on my own experience it depends upon the person or persons involved in the relationship and how they individually and collectively value money in the relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. eshinalidoreen · August 11, 2016

    This is a good read. There are people who do date their financial equals and cannot date lesser people. But am not in a position to judge them. i say if you love someone, love them truly. Don’t go in, because of money. Find happiness before you love his/her money. Also look for your own way to get your own money by working not just depending on his/her. With that there will be respect in the relationship.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · August 15, 2016

      Most people aren’t gold diggers and don’t get involved with a person for money – yet I do think the money issue will eventually surface at some point if people have different attitudes towards it – if one is distinctly poorer than the other, one of the never wants to spend money, or one wastes money on porno mags, etc!!

      Sure, we can say we should all have our own money and spend it however we want but eventually your finances do end up crossing over…

      Liked by 1 person

  3. EttaD · August 11, 2016

    I love this topic and have had a few arguments with friends about it.
    Will be back shortly, dog wants walking 😉

    Like

  4. EttaD · August 11, 2016

    I make more money that my partner, it’s never been an issue. I could’ve gotten involved with someone making just as money as I am or maybe even more. But at the end of the day, will there be love, adventure, humour and compatibility in that relationship? Perhaps not! I dated a guy who was making 10x the amount I was making, he downplayed his wealth, but he always came off as a show off to me because though he came from old money, kept his wealth when so many in his family went under, by making great investments. He was always too chatting about how he made this much money on this investment, how much he lost on that investment, who he helped out………. But barring all that, the relationship went nowhere because he was not satisfying my needs mentioned above. I learned what I could from him business wise, them bailed out. I had a lot of my friends call me stupid for ending the relationship. But for me to be truly comfortable in a relationship, there has to be more than just money!

    We all want Financial freedom and anyone saying money isn’t important is just delusional. We need money to survive, how much money one needs depends entirely on their goals and lifestyle. Money isn’t everything in a relationship, but it’s important because I can be broke all by myself!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · August 11, 2016

      I think you put it perfectly at the end.

      I don’t think we should date someone just because they have money but for me personally I do need a guy to be somewhat independent. Sure if you are in a relationship you can support each other now and again but if he is just sitting on his sorry ass then things just won’t work. I don’t think it’s a persons salary that matters but more their outlook…what they are doing with their money and what they want for the future

      Liked by 1 person

      • EttaD · August 11, 2016

        Oh NO!! Definitely, was NEVER into the deadbeat relationship. A friend of mine married a dreamer, he always has big plans for how to make money, but never leaves the couch. I keep trying to nudge her to just get out of that suffocating relationship. She’s stopped following my blog because she thinks some of my posts are directed to her, which they’re not.

        Liked by 1 person

      • EnglishRosiee · August 11, 2016

        Oh deary!!! I guess the truth hurts! But sometimes you do love the brokeass and you’ve probably hone too far down the line to back down.

        Liked by 1 person

      • EttaD · August 11, 2016

        LOL! LOL! I don’t get it, even if you don’t have money. At least have some ambition to earn money.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. genferraris · August 14, 2016

    Wow, well done for touching on a subject which we all know exists but so few of us want to talk about (even with our significant others). Money matters can make all of us feel uncomfortable at times and when you have different views to your partner it can definitely cause issues. But like you say, it depends more on each person’s attitude towards money and what you are prepared to tolerate. Opposites may attract but the way people handle money is often something deeply ingrained and not open to compromise. Eventually those differences may drive people apart.
    Keep up the good work, I look forward to your next post!
    X

    Liked by 1 person

  6. mypuzzlepeace · August 21, 2016

    It matters to me in respect to their lack of finances may negatively impact my finances. If I am sharing my life with a man and I have to pay more because they can’t pay their share I know that it would start to cause a strain on our relationship. I don’t need a man to be rich, but they at least need to be sustainable in the life we live.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · August 22, 2016

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Totally agree with you…I don’t think slight differences in income are a huge deal as long as they are out there working. If they have different aspirations which govern how much they work then that is where the issues start.

      Keep following 😀

      Liked by 1 person

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