Through ‘Sickness’ and In Health – Man Flu and Other Drama King Diseases

manflu

 

I’ve always been a firm believer of Survival of the Fittest. This was ingrained in me since I was a kid when my parents sent me off to school full of flem and snot, basically telling me to ‘man up’ because the common cold never killed a person and it wasn’t a crime to infect all the other children in my class… after all it wasn’t our fault that they had rubbish genes and weak immune systems. Although as a grown-up, infecting my colleagues in the office doesn’t really work in my favour as it ends up meaning I have to pick up the slack, I still rarely take a sick day. Because at the end of the day, no matter how pretty you are or how many PhDs you have, no employer will knowingly employ a person with a horrific sickness record.

I however do understand that not all people subscribe to my way of thinking. We all have different pain thresholds. Some people will cry like a baby when they stub their toe while others are capable of running marathons with a heart condition and fractured leg. Different strokes for different folks I guess? Sure, maybe I am unsympathetic cow. Luckily, for those who a genuinely sick (with more than just a cold) in most decent countries there will be certain safeguards in the workplace to protect them from having their jobs snatched away by healthier counterparts. But seeing as the purpose of this blog isn’t to discuss labour laws, today I want to discuss sicknesses and their impact on relationships?

In an attempt to keep things lighthearted and merry, I’m not going by serious medical conditions like Cancer, Paraplegia, HIV/AIDS, etc. Theoretically, we all know that if you truly loved someone you’d stick by them in sickness and in health, like those age-old wedding vows tell you to. However, the reality is probably somewhat different – the truth is we are a fickle generation that often bolt at the first sign of trouble – but no judgement from me. It’s understandable that not all relationships are capable of withstanding the pressures that come from dealing with such serious illnesses.

What I want to raise issue with today are not the genuine illnesses that I’ve referred to above, but with growing prevalence of what I’d like to call Drama King Diseases, the one which we are all probably most familiar with is the dreaded Man Flu. This is a crippling and debilitating condition which indiscriminately attacks just the male members of our species without warning. While, most women may regard this as nothing more than the common cold the boys will beg to differ on this.

Ladies, we are well aware by now that the alpha male is a dying breed. Long gone are those men that fought in the trenches…most boys (really, we can’t refer to them as men) nowadays wouldn’t be willing to hammer a nail into the wall, never mind go off to war without mummy there to hold their hand. While the independent woman is totally capable to going out to work, earning the big bucks, giving birth and running marathons…I think having to deal with these ‘weak’ men puts unnecessary pressure on a relationship and quite frankly is enough to send even an iron lady over the edge.

Seriously though, I have to say that any such dramatic references to Man-Flu or other Drama King Diseases should be seen as a red flag, especially in the early stages of dating. To exemplify, you’ve got a fun night of dancing planned with friends when the new beau starts complaining about a headache. The next thing you know he is heading to the doctor and BOOM there he is being admitted to hospital with a HEADACHE !!!

As the S.O of such a man, you’ll find yourself in a lose/lose situation. If you cancel your plans (because your lame man is overcome by his FEAR of tripping over his two left feet) and stay by his bedside nursing him back to ‘health’ you’ll spend the whole time wishing you were out on the town. If you tell him sort himself out and go anyway, he’ll a) probably run and tell mummy about  you and b) never let you forget the time you left him for DEAD to go party karate with your stupid friends. And there begins a slippery slope…

Oki dokes Dear Rinsers, its over to you. Do you think my rant was a little harsh on the boys? Do we really have a duty to stick by our S.O through ‘sickness’ and in health? Have you ever dated such a Drama King (or Queen) who suddenly happens to contract a serious illness when there is something that they don’t want to do? Do you think we should regard such ‘symptoms’ as red flags or am I just a heartless cow? Share your views and stories in the comments below… 

 

 

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25 comments

  1. bklynboy59 · July 21

    Harsh on the boys not really since we are on the subject it might be alittle over their heads in the first place because Men would handle a headache as an annoyance nothing more and would deal it …2 avil or aleve and move on …cancel a date due to a headache and go to the hospital??? Whimp!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. sam1128 · July 21

    Hehe. Made me laugh.
    I think it depends if the SO is really that or just a passing flirt. It also depends on whether they genuinely crumble at being ill and can’t cope….learned behaviour…or whether sickness is a ploy to get out of doing something they don’t want…that is manipulative behaviour and implies a devious nature ..or a still immature mind.if the latter is the case then one should certainly go out and leave them to it. and probably run like hell this behaviour will only get worse..so imo red flag.. If he is just a sickness whimp but you care for him then you have to work on modifying your reaction to his behaviour. If he doesn’t get the response he craves then he might modify his own behaviour.
    Trouble is my likely reaction would be to treat with something nasty tasting or unpleasant to make being ill less of a treat.lol
    I have a man who is the opposite there is nothing the matter even when there patently is , I have to insist he has pain killers when his back is really hurting, I have to phone the doctor and make him go if his sickness warrants equally annoying and we only luckily averted a major medical emergency because he didn’t mention his problems. So both ends of the spectrum.

    On a slightly different note in my youth I did cry off from things sometimes using illness more imagined than real as an excuse before I had the confidence to say sorry not my thing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · July 21

      Thanks for your insights 🙂

      I don’t think it matters whether they are a sickness wimp or just trying to get out of doing something they don’t want to. Either way it stops YOU having fun…and in my book that’s selfish behaviour.

      I get your frustrations, but it seems you found yourself a rare alpha ! GO YOU!

      Liked by 1 person

      • sam1128 · July 21

        Wow Rosiee…that’s maybe harsh if it’s the SO. Fun is a variable feast in a long term relationship….and it has to be tempered with give and take…Depends how much of an irritant the behaviour is and how much fun the rest of the time is…

        Liked by 1 person

      • EnglishRosiee · July 22

        I’m not saying I wouldn’t cancel my plans to stay in and look after them if they were genuinely sick or had a broken leg, etc. However, it is ultimately about their intentions.

        If they are happy for me to leave them food and water and go about my day – I think thats reasonable. BUT if they want me to stay in a tend to their every whim that is selfish and that’ll eventually infiltrate other aspects of the relationship!

        Liked by 1 person

      • sam1128 · July 22

        Lol…yep with you on that.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. EttaD · July 21

    Most would think I’m a horrible spouse! My friends are always shocked when I tell them my husband is feeling well, but then I still show up to our monthly meet-ups. I don’t give in to the man flu, if his sickness IS genuine or to a point that he’s in bed. Fine, everything you need is on the bedside table and the bathroom is across the hall. I think it the fault of the mother who spoil their sons into thinking, “hey I’m dying, I need special attention, no, I need ALL of your attention.” My husband was surprised to find me immune to the man Flu when we first met, he quickly found out that after being the eldest of 7 children, 4 of which are brothers, I’m immune to a lot of manattitude 😉 LOL! LOL! Same goes for the kids, I was once their age and know all the tricks of the trade for getting attention. So they learned early one, don’t call me unless you’re bleeding to death or your life’s in imminent danger.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · July 21

      Haha! Loved this comment. I don’t think you are a horrible spouse.

      While its fine to feel sorry for oneself when you are sick to an extent, we don’t need to indulge these behaviours.

      You are right it is the fault of the mothers. That’s why it is so important that children are taught to ‘man up’ from a young age.

      Liked by 1 person

      • EttaD · July 21

        Exactly, my grandma was like your parents. I was sent to school with runny nose, sore throat and sometimes even a fever. If the school nurse didn’t send you home, it meant you were well enough to sit in class. We grew up on an island and I think she was more afraid of us getting too comfortable in making excuses, and wanted us to get the most out of getting a good education. But she also said, in the real world you can’t stay home from work every time you get the sniffles because there are 100 people who would be happy to take your place.

        Like

      • EnglishRosiee · July 22

        My thoughts exactly. It’s sad that people don’t think this way anymore. It’s all down to bad parenting at the end of the day.

        Now we live in a world where the child must have their hands sanitized before they even thinking about going out to play, in fact all the toys should be santised too.

        Gosh, I’m glad I lived in an age where I was eating plants and insects and mud as a child…I think it made me a stronger person. Not like all the weaklings we have today (men and women) with all their millions of allergies and supplements that they’ll DIE without taking.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. sam1128 · July 21

    Got a favour to ask you would love for both of you to become Beta readers for my next book. I know I would get honest feedback and some interesting takes. Won’t be for another few months.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Phoebe grove · July 21

    I think men are a bit jealous that women get period pain, morning sickness and maternity leave. So any excuse for sick leave. I’ve never called in sick due to period pain but I have been tempted. But yes, hate it in general if someone is off sick the workload gets shifted equally (unlikely) to others. Or if you are back from sick leave, there is no sympathy, but all your work to catch up with.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · July 22

      Thanks for the comment and reading the blog.

      I think the pain women suffer every month makes us tougher when it comes to other ailments. Sure, we’d like to stay home but I don’t think calling the office and saying its that time of the month will cut it. But man-flu that’s totally acceptable.

      I think there is a reason the universe is designed so that stronger sex had to give birth – imagine a man in labour !!!!

      Like

  6. Jessie · July 24

    So true! Nowadays, it seems guys can’t even handle a simple headache, let alone a cold! They think they’re dying, for a little sniffle. So definitely a true post!

    Liked by 1 person

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