The Sixth Sense – When The Ex Just Knows You Are Moving On

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Relationships, and other lesser-romantic encounters, end for a variety of reasons. Some break-ups aren’t monumental. It’s not always a case of him having a Ashley Madison account or her leading a double life on the other side of the world and stringing you a long for the LOLs. Sometimes its just a matter of two people not seeing eye to eye or having issues that, despite all efforts, just can’t be overcome. I do believe it is possible to exit a relationship while still loving the person you are leaving behind. That connection that you’ve built over time (be it a few weeks or a decade) doesn’t just end that day you change your Facebook status back to ‘single’.

That connection that transcends the parameters of a formal relationship (or informal FWB in some cases) is the focus of in today’s post. In particular, the sixth sense, that your exes have when it comes to your moving on with someone new. Let’s look at some examples. We all have ex-factor where things end but not on bad terms so you try and stay (just) friends, you keep in touch, share a bit of witty banter, etc. Naturally, you try to keep things light and fluffy so there is never any discussion about potential new relationships (surely, I am not the only one who thinks this may be a little awk?). After a few months of single alone time, one day there you are beautifying yourself and getting ready for your first date with some dude you’ve met on Tinder when there is a knock on the door…and it’s none other than the devil himself!!! You chitchat a bit and eventually get rid of him but you arrive bleary eyed and generally bleak for the first date and that’s not exactly the best start for a blossoming relationship now is it?

Just a coincidence? We wish! There are even those boyfriends past, who despite the fact that they themselves have replaced you, somehow manage to find a way of using this ‘sixth sense’ to stop you from moving on. It’s  hard enough trying dealing with the trials and tribulations of dating, and sifting through all the deadwood out there trying to meet some half-decent human beings without throwing your past into the mix. And what’s worse about these exes with the sixth sense is that they often know you better than you know yourself. As much as we all know better than to compare people, its so easy to be nostalgic. Even though a potential new suitor may shower you with flowers (and badly written declarations of ‘love’), your past knows you well enough to know that the only flowers you won’t kill are the plastic ones!

And the solution to this ‘Sixth Sense’ problem? I’d love to tell you I had the answer. But I’m still working on this one. Sure, the Sixth Sense exists BUT we can still choose not to allow it control things and effectively stop us having a future with someone new. The truth is, it’s not always a case of better the devil you know. Things always end for a reason and unless there has been a miraculous turn of events you’ll find that the issues that plagued past relationships still exist today. Of course, its not always easy to cut all ties and draw a line in the sand, especially in a small world like Cape Town. But we should at least endevour to  move on so that when paths do cross we are in a better position to objectively evaluate the situation instead of allowing the ex’s Sixth Sense to trick us into becoming all nostalgic about the past.

OK Rinsers. Do you think it is possible for ex loves to have this sort of Sixth Sense and use it to sabotage our chances of future happiness?  Or is it just an excuse for person’s own unwillingness to let go of the past? Do you have any experiences with the Sixth Sense phenomenon and what are you tips for fighting it? Answers in the comments below.

 

 

 

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7 comments

  1. Asha Seth · July 14, 2016

    I can see what you are trying to get at, subtly. And to a certain extent, I agree as well. But my question is – Are you really able to move on? No matter how old or mature or bitter you grow of a severed relationship, the vestiges are always there, surrounding your next actions. It may feel nostalgic, or nasty to be around such memories, but can we really do anything about that? so, I guess, in my opinion, the answer to your question is – It’s not exes but we ourselves most times who blemishes such opportunities.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · July 14, 2016

      I get what your saying…one person will look at it as mere coincidence whereas another will choose to see it at sixth sense. Its how you choose to read into it. But its those really, really epic moments where one is making real headway in getting over the ex and BOOM they appear (after maybe you haven’t seen them for a year) just to remind you that they are still alive! It’s kinda creepy!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. johnhughmorgan3 · July 14, 2016

    I think it may be a case of not being able to let go of the past, whether it’s the guy or girl. The tighter the bond that was formed, the harder it will be. And in some cases it may not be possible to completely let go. Probably the best we can do then is not let it effect our lives today. For example, in the story about getting ready for a date when one of your ex boyfriends knocks at the door, he could have been just returning a book that you had let him borrow. But in your mind, you couldn’t help but think he was trying to get together with you again.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. EttaD · July 14, 2016

    God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. I’ve said this prayer after the end of each relationship, including my first marriage. Relationships end because either on or both parties are not happy or satisfied with what they have.

    This sixth-sense phenomenon goes both ways. Women and men use it to their advantage, some just don’t want to let go, some use it as a tool of dominance. What I mean is that it empowers them to know that they have that power over their ex. I’m guilty of using this on my ex, not in a sexual way, but just to see IF I still had the ‘IT’ factor. And I did 😉
    Tips for fighting it off? Forget about what you HAD and think about what you HAVE. If what you have isn’t as good as what you had, the move on til you find what you want!

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · July 14, 2016

      Good advice! I totally agree with you, if the newbie is better the old trash then the sixth sense would be harmless!

      Liked by 1 person

      • EttaD · July 14, 2016

        Exactly, but the problem I find too, is that many people enter new relationships on the rebound. Which gives the ex even more leverage, because it definitely means they have a FWB to toy with at will. I always advise my friends to enjoy their own company after a break up, before jumping into another.

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Pingback: First Impressions and Second Chances | rinse before use

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