Are you suffering from emotional problems? Do you fear rejection? Do you struggle to express your feelings and are horrible to people you care about the most? Or maybe you feel like you’re not complete and that a very big part of you is missing? Don’t worry, Prince Charming will come to your life and fix ALL your problems! All you need to do is wait. Right? WRONG!
I remember in school I thought my biggest problem in life was not having the man in my life. I thought once that was sorted everything else would miraculously sort itself out as well. I wasn’t the only one to think so. My friends and I would discuss guys and complain about them. This one was too shy to express his feelings, the other one too blind to see that we’re just perfect for him. We all had our little patterns and ourselves to keep reassuring each other that we’re amazing and they aren’t. In all that we forgot about two simple facts: 1) you attract what you are and what complements your issues and 2) you choose your love interests. In other words instead of blaming the world one should take responsibility for their own well-being. They say that if you change the world you look at the world change, the world itself changes and it’s very true.
The need for self-reliance and lack of self-pity have been discussed in my posts before. What I’m going focus on today is the fact that we should realize that we have no right to expect others to fix us. If we’re unhappy or bitter we should work on that before we decide to invite someone into our lives. It doesn’t work this way. Unhappiness and negativity are contagious and there’s nothing weird with the fact that people don’t want to be around it.
The above seems logical and yet when a girl goes on a few dates with a guy she starts to think that he owes her. He owes her to give her a chance, to be understanding, to see deeper than what is shown to him. If he doesn’t do it in the discourse of her and her female friends he becomes an asshole. How dare he not to deal with the sourpuss you and see whether there are maybe other people out there who are just more fun to be around. Especially in the beginning of dating people want to be around people they like and not people that could possibly have the potential to be liked. If a woman displays number of issues but not many positive qualities, in the name of what is the man supposed to keep seeing her (applies to the reversed gender scenario too)?
It all seems very reasonable but we expect him to stay regardless of our issues. Only that it’s not a healthy relationship when one person is not emotionally stable and expect the other one to fix them. Not that it’s even possible, even if they really wanted to. Clinginess and dependency are a recipe for a disaster and not for a fairy tale.
To sum up, if you have issues you can be upset that you were brought up in the house that gave them to you. You have the right to feel bitter that others have it less difficult and that as much as you try some stuff resurfaces. That’s all understandable. However, regardless of how deep your emotional shortcomings are, the responsibility to get rid of them lies with you. Fix yourself.
So Dear Rinsers, do you think that society makes us rely on others to solve our issues? Do you think people take to little responsibility for their own mental well-being?