In last weeks post I talked about those times when in our pursuit of love we occasionally engage in forms of human interaction, be it a little harmless banter or more of a FWB arrangement, with someone we clearly know we have no future with simply for the purpose of boosting our fragile egos. While most people admitted to having been involved in something of the sort there was a consensus that engaging in such ego boosting activities was wrong and would ultimately end in disaster.
Today, I want to talk about the grey area known as the Flirtationship; a space where, I’d argue, ego boosting activities can take place somewhat more legitimately. To put it simply, this is a social situation which consists of something that is more than a simple platonic friendships, but never quite a full blown relationship.
How does one know they are in a Flirtationship? Well here are the 5 elements which I think are tell tale signs…
High School-ish Behaviour
Despite the fact that you are both adults, in fact he may even be an elder, you find yourself regressing back to your childhood. For example, poking and kicking each other and generally acting like five year olds.
I have to say the best thing about being in a Flirtationship is the banter. You clearly get each other, so the banter flows perfectly. And while it may occasionally border on inappropriate, it is never dull. Actually, there may even be some in-jokes between the two of you that confuse everyone except maybe your inner most circle of trust.
You both know full well that this Flirtationship can/should never be anything more than a guilty pleasure so you insist on downplaying things (mainly for the benefit of others). Maybe you try to make light of things by referring to him as ‘Your Bro from Another Ho’ or the ‘Office Hubby’. Or maybe you spend you time publicly pointing out their faults and laughing at his rubbish dating strategy.
Just don’t kid yourself into believing that everyone thinks the two of you hate each other. Your friends know you better than that.
Agony Person/Dating Advice Guru
Now this is where things get tricky. You both know your are not in a relationship so you really are free to date other people. In fact, you MUST! So, you feel totally comfortable bitching about those failed tinder dates with them or dishing out advice on where they should be sarging if they want to find the ‘One’!
However, life is never that simple, is it? Imagine accidentally stumbling upon your flirt buddy in the middle of a date – can you put your hand on your heart and say you’d never experience even the slighest pangs of jealousy? How about if he hears on the gossipvine that you’ve just gone and got yourself a FWB? Speaking from experience, just watch him up his game and tell you that you can do better!
It’s perfect the way it is…
Sure, the flirt buddy is a lot of fun to be around. His stupid text messages make you smile. And the party only gets fun after he arrives. But deep down, you know that this Flirtationship you’ve got going is never going to be anything more. Maybe there are practical reasons – he is a bible bashing nutter or your olds have an arranged marriage lined up for you? Nevertheless to allow this to progress to anything more serious would be a death wish and maybe even social suicide.
So when things start to heat up, you realize there is no other option but to RUN AWAY! That way he’ll still be around the morning after (on Whatsapp I mean and not in your bed!).
At the end of the day, the Flirtationship is perfect the way it is. It’s the ego boost you need but maybe with a little more substance than a souless FWB relationship. Even in those drunken moments, when tumbling under the covers may seem like a good idea, you know better and you value the Flirtationship too much to throw it away simply to scratch that temporary itch.
Oke dokes Rinsers. Have you ever been in a Flirtationship? Do you think it’s as close to a innocent ego boost that you can get? Have you ever let a Flirtationship get out of hand? How did that end – happily ever after or not so much? Share your views and stories in the comments below.