The 5 Elements of a Flirtationship


In last weeks post I talked about those times when in our pursuit of love we occasionally engage in forms of human interaction, be it a little harmless banter or more of a FWB arrangement, with someone we clearly know we have no future with simply for the purpose of boosting our fragile egos. While most people admitted to having been involved in something of the sort there was a consensus that engaging in such ego boosting activities was wrong and would ultimately end in disaster.

Today, I want to talk about the grey area known as the Flirtationship; a space where, I’d argue, ego boosting activities can take place somewhat more legitimately. To put it simply,  this is a social situation which consists of something that is more than a simple platonic friendships, but never quite a full blown relationship.

How does one know they are in a Flirtationship? Well here are the 5 elements which I think are tell tale signs…

High School-ish Behaviour

Despite the fact that you are both adults, in fact he may even be an elder, you find yourself regressing back to your childhood. For example, poking and kicking each other and generally acting like five year olds.

Excellent Banter

I have to say the best thing about being in a Flirtationship is the banter. You clearly get each other, so the banter flows perfectly. And while it may occasionally  border on inappropriate, it is never dull. Actually, there may even be some in-jokes between the two of you that confuse everyone except maybe your inner most circle of trust.


You both know full well that this Flirtationship can/should never be anything more than a guilty pleasure so you insist on downplaying things (mainly for the benefit of others). Maybe you try to make light of things by referring to him as ‘Your Bro from Another Ho’ or the ‘Office Hubby’. Or maybe you spend you time publicly pointing out their faults and laughing at his rubbish dating strategy.

Just don’t kid yourself into believing that everyone thinks the two of you hate each other. Your friends know you better than that.

Agony Person/Dating Advice Guru

Now this is where things get tricky. You both know your are not in a relationship so you really are free to date other people. In fact, you MUST! So, you feel totally comfortable bitching about those failed tinder dates with them or dishing out advice on where they should be sarging if they want to find the ‘One’!

However, life is never that simple, is it? Imagine accidentally stumbling upon your flirt buddy in the middle of a date – can you put your hand on your heart and say you’d never experience even the slighest pangs of jealousy? How about if he hears on the gossipvine that you’ve just gone and got yourself a FWB? Speaking from experience, just watch him up his game and tell you that you can do better!

It’s perfect the way it is…

Sure, the flirt buddy is a lot of fun to be around. His stupid text messages make you smile. And the party only gets fun after he arrives. But deep down, you know that this Flirtationship you’ve got going is never going to be anything more. Maybe there are practical reasons – he is a bible bashing nutter or your olds have an arranged marriage lined up for you? Nevertheless to allow this to progress to anything more serious would be a death wish and maybe even social suicide.

So when things start to heat up, you realize there is no other option but to RUN AWAY! That way he’ll still be around the morning after (on Whatsapp I mean and not in your bed!).

At the end of the day, the Flirtationship is perfect the way it is. It’s the ego boost you need but maybe with a little more substance than a souless FWB relationship. Even in those drunken moments, when tumbling under the covers may seem like a good idea, you know better and you value the Flirtationship too much to throw it away simply to scratch that temporary itch.

Oke dokes Rinsers. Have you ever been in a Flirtationship? Do you think it’s as close to a innocent ego boost that you can get? Have you ever let a Flirtationship get out of hand? How did that end – happily ever after or not so much? Share your views and stories in the comments below.  



  1. I’ve been in a flirtationship before, well I was kinda caught up in it. It began innocently enough then bloomed, BUT, once I recognised what was happening, I ended it. Which I think most people don’t do, sure the attention is an ego boost, but it felt wrong. Anything that feels wrong to me I usually shy away from.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You are right. Most of us wouldn’t end a flirtationship. It’s too good for our confidence. Maybe, if we were in a more serious relationship with someone else we’d need to nip it in the bud, but it probably seems like innocent fun to most singletons.

      Good on you though for doing the right thing!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. My roommate and I had a flirtationship when since we first met, but I think it’s simmered down a bit now that we have been living together for almost a year. I met him at a party, he was introduced to me because he’s one of my other roommate’s old college friends. We were definitely flirty, but nothing came of it that night. Then he started coming to more parties at my place, and then a bedroom opened up and my other roommate suggested his friend moved in. We had him come over to talk about moving in, we all agreed. We all hung out for a bit that day, then when he got me alone, he tried asking me to go to lunch with him. I couldn’t tell if this was flirty or just trying to be friendly because we were going to be roommates, I had plans already, but I think I would have declined either way to make sure things didn’t get awkward before he even moved in. We continued to be flirty when he moved in, and there was even some amount of sexual tension between us. For instance, there was a time it seemed like he was going to kiss me and I pulled back, we were drunk and that would have been a terrible idea. Over the past year, this tension has eased up and I think the flirtationship has ended and it’s definitely for the better that we didn’t act on it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I have seen flirty at work and often wondered if something was going on and once even asked one of them if something was and I got the funny look of what are you talking about look…so I walked away and left it alone . From the outside looking in it looks like fun …but there always more

    Liked by 1 person

    • Work is another dangerous place for a flirtationship.

      You know how people love to talk…you wink at a guy across the room and the next thing you know your colleagues are planning your hen do and baby shower.

      As much fun as sneaking around is…you never know when gossip can become malicious. Sometimes those bleak office workers become bitter when they see you are finding fun at work 😛

      Liked by 2 people

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