Damaged Goods and Repression of Female Sexuality


There’s a lot of things that upset me in the world and one of them are sexist yet widely held beliefs that repress female sexuality. It seems like certain views of how a female should be are so deeply rooted in culture(s) that people keep repeating them without questioning or even thinking about them.

One of the most popular methods of repressing female sexuality is downgrading it to a tool. Woman’s body is believed to be a magic artifact which only use is to keep the man around. To do so one should a) not give it possibly to anyone apart from the future husband and b) give it generously once the man have been chosen to “keep him happy”. A value of the female among cultures is limited to how many sexual partners she had. Her looks, interests and opinions do not matter much if she got herself a “reputation”. In some difficult to understand way a female’s vagina loses its value with every additional partner, unlike a penis which doesn’t have a similar quality.

A female can become in popular perception “a damaged good” with the variable socially imposed acceptance of the level of the damage (only virgins allowed cultures vs “respectable” number of partners cultures). In all this discourse female pleasure or a lack thereof is completely lost. In deciding to sleep or not to sleep with someone a woman is expected to take into account not her own needs but how it’s going to be viewed by others.

Female sexuality is meant to be a currency, something used instrumentally to get things such as love and stability. What is lost, however, is the enjoyment. The only question a woman should ask herself when considering sleeping with someone should be whether she wants it. A guy shouldn’t think any less of her because she slept with him on a date three instead of a respectable time of one month. Yet, men often do (because then the dreadful question of “how many more where there before me?” appears) and more importantly females often embrace this judgment. We advise our friends to “wait” or to abstain from out of relationship sex and we think less of them and ourselves if we didn’t listen to the piece of advice.

Surprisingly, the women who get “a reputation” are often not the most sexually liberated ones. They too use the sexual politics just in a different way. By having sex with men they want to tie them and manipulate them into love. They give them what they want and they think that in this way they’ll make them happy. Unfortunately, if a man was not given a chance to see that a woman is interesting in any other way than sexual before he explores that part of her, he’s unlikely to develop this interest after he performed what he’s biologically wired to do. How much of that attitude has to do with social conditioning I can’t tell.

Last but not least, there’s a question of looks. Women often work out and take care of their bodies. It’s not weird that they proud of what they worked for or of what the more lucky ones were just given by Mother Nature. Clothes and make up are an undeniable way of expressing sexuality (which doesn’t equal expressing sexual readiness for ANY partner). And yet, society(ies) doesn’t think that a woman is allowed to show their assets. If you wear a short skirt you will often be cat called and sometimes offended. Recently I ignored a bunch of men trying to draw my attention. Of course, they soon started to swear at me, calling me a whore and so on. What sort of world is that in which a human allows himself to use such vocabulary with someone purely because of their looks? Do I need to wear a potato sack to be respected as a human? Another woman won’t support you. My colleague hearing the story wasn’t surprised. “What do you expect dressing like this?” she said. I think I expect a world in which no one will evaluate others on the basis of the length of their skirt, size of their cleavage or the number of their sexual partners. In other words, I expect a world in which human value isn’t measured only by what people do with her body.

Thank you for your attention Dear Readers. Now please speak your mind in the comment section.


  1. Interesting post …at first I admit I wasn’t sure where you were going with this or what brought this on but I do understand your points. However…let’s be fair … some women use sex to control the men that cross their path whether it is to withhold it from them with the promise of later or that they will make it special and only to find out that it isn’t going to happen, or some use it to get that 4 letter word…BABY. And by the way…men get a bad rep too with so many sexual partners and not always are they called studs… some know how to make babies and do nothing else and have 8,9 , 10 kids with 7 different women…those kind of men are dogs plain and simple…as for the men calling you names because you wouldn’t give them the time of day because you were too sexy for them…pure ego was what that was coming out of their mouth …because if you gave any of them the time of day…they wouldn’t be calling you names.

    Liked by 1 person

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