In last week’s post we discussed the human desire for mind blowing bedroom action and how sometimes the act falls short of our great (s) expectations. While the importance of sexual compatibility seems to be debatable, I think it’s fair to say that, unlike in the movies, it is not possible for the sex to be filthy hot on every occasion.
On that note, today I want about to discuss those such instances when all that rolling under the covers doesn’t culminate in the Big O and one is forced to fake it! If you want to act all innocent and pretend to not know what I am on about then I’ve included a picture from the classic movie When Harry Met Sally where Meg Ryan makes a scene in the deli to demonstrate that act of faking it (just to jog your memory).
I think most sexually active ladies will admit to having faked an orgasm once or twice in their lives. (According to the stats around 25% of women fake it – shocking!). Naturally, reasons vary from one person to the next – maybe you want inflate your partners ego (having to deal with a man who has doubts about his abilities in the bedroom could end up being a much bigger issue in the long run), maybe you want to unleash your inner actress and play pornstar for the night or perhaps you’ve had a hard day at the office or run a marathon and you just don’t have the energy to keep at it!
While I don’t think that faking it once in a while is necessarily the greatest evil known to man, I do think that making a habit of it could be a cause for concern on many. Firstly, faking it with someone you are not particularly fond of not only boosts a guy’s ego but perpetuates his own misconception that he has ‘moves’ in the bedroom. When this bad sex arrangement you have got going eventually comes to an end (which is inevitably will) all your screaming and faking would have served to do is inflict great disappointment upon the next unfortunate chick who happens to fall into the bed of this poorly-skilled fella.
Now let’s take it a step further. What happens when you start faking it are in a committed relationship and it’s not a just one off? Justify it any which way you want but faking an orgasm is just a form of deception. And what does this say about the faker? If a person can lie about what is essentially one of the most intimate aspects of relationship what else are they lying about? Whats not to say that they are not busy looking elsewhere for more exciting prospects – Ashley Madison maybe? Hmm…this really does open up a massive can of worms!
Then again, we can’t solely blame the boys for bad times in the bedroom, now can we? I’ve heard many stories (told by the scorned ex-boyfriends in most cases) about chicks who unable to reach that elusive O with anything other than a battery operated device. Perhaps, it’s just me and my limited experience, but this kind of thing screams out for a need for a little introspection (and maybe a need for a sex therapist). Jokes aside, it could actually be a medical condition so if good sex is something that matters to you, then it be worth seeking professional help.
To conclude my little Thursday rant, what happens in the bedroom should happily stay there. It’s not for me and the blogosphere to judge. But at the end of the day, its up to each individual and their partner to decide how important carnal pleasures are to the future success of their relationship. Sure, not everybody is a sex-crazed Mr Grey (with a special room for all his special toys) and so maybe the Big O isn’t a priority but for those who do care I don’t think faking it is really an effective long-term solution to the problem and an over-reliance on one’s acting abilities in the bedroom might only come to haunt you further down the line.
Now Dear Rinsers be brave and share your stories in the comments below. How important is the Big O? Have you ever faked it (and don’t lie to me!)? What were your reasons? And is faking an orgasm nothing more than a white lie or could it be the first step in the slippery slope of deceit and betrayal? Does faking it in the bedroom have the potential to do more harm than good for a long-term relationship?