The widely held belief about the modern world seems to be that people call it quits too easily and that instead of working on a relationship they prefer to start a new one. That may be true about many men I know but to be honest among women I’ve seen the contrary. Inspired by all the attempts of females unhappy with their guys but still trying to make someone love them back or keep up the interest, I decided to write this post.
When to call it quits obviously depends on the situation. If we’re talking about initial interest or dating I’d say as soon as possible. I can’t tell you how much time I’ve lost in my life trying to keep up the initial interest in people. Most of them weren’t even particularly fascinating. The like or dislike is often based on such a shallow thing as looks and sexual attraction. If it’s not working early on just let it go. There’s no point in trying to make something not compatible work. The sooner you let go the easier you’ll move on. A good relationship can be a wonderful thing that’s a source of happiness and strength in life and not drama. It’s also not supposed to be a struggle, especially not in the beginning.
What about more established couples? If you keep fighting about your favorite type of toothpaste it’s really not a big deal. On the other hand if your fights include serious matters such as difference of opinion on whether or not to have children or the way in which the partner is spending money they may be potential deal breakers. My personal example is a partner who was out of a job for a prolonged period of time but wasn’t looking for a new one and was too proud to accept just any offer that others found for him. For months he let me pay for him and eventually I realised that regardless of how many ads I’d send him and how many times I’d get upset about his inertia, the situation was likely to never change. Of course leaving someone after a year or more even when it’s justified and feelings start to fade is difficult. I was emotionally unwell for months to come but at the end of the day it’s always worth it. When in doubt ask yourself two questions: Am I happy? and Is there a chance that I ever will be happy with that man?
Last but not least, there’s a thing that I know only from second-hand experience and I hope never to experience myself, namely, divorce. I don’t think that they happen only to people who weren’t a strong match with their partner or who weren’t committed to the relationship enough to keep working on it when not all was going well. I’m sure many people genuinely believe that they met the one, they got married and at some point things somehow go wrong and they become different and more importantly less compatible people than they used to be. If people reach a point when they’re miserable, no attempts to improve the situation help and the only positive thing left between them are memories and maybe sex, it’s time to call it quits regardless of marital status.
To sum up, for some people the end of a relationship is the end of their life and I wish you all find such a person. If it’s not the case, I think that the time to call it quits is when we’re happier without our partner than with him for a prolonged period of time and most importantly we don’t see our future with them anymore.
Dear Rinsers – What are you thoughts on the issue? Are you the type of person to cling on to a relationship for as long as is humanly possible or do you know when to call it a day?