The Real Woman is… Blah blah blah


Being a woman is not an easy thing. Men want to control us but they’re not out biggest enemies. Surprisingly, the biggest enemy of a woman is another woman.

I was scrolling down my Facebook when I read someone’s status telling the readers that she’s sorry to say but “real women have curves”. I got quite upset at this notion and I react in that way every time when I read about what a “real woman” is or isn’t. Skinny versus big, promiscuous versus a prude, single versus in a relationship. All these opposite labels have one thing in common – judgment. Why can’t I be of a medium size happily without labeling others as big or small?

Why do we need to judge others in order to feel happy about ourselves? We don’t! We unite with people like us, label and judge the rest. It’s as if the judgment was granting us our identity. Only that it’s a very weak identity if it’s coming not from loving what we are but from hating what others aren’t. Every time we feel the need of saying that others are doing nothing something wrong we should try to see what in US makes us feel the need to say that. Im not saying I’m a saint either so all I’m saying applies to me too.

I think a good example of what I’m talking about is the “curves propaganda”. In reply to media’s promotion of being skinny a notion of a “real woman” was coined. And what is this real woman? Someone who has boobs and ass and curves. I agree that we should all love each other regardless of our size but can you not see that by calling someone curvy a real woman you’re calling a skinny one fake?

I’m sure that bigger people receive a lot of rude questions regarding their diet and exercise routine. However, skinny women deal with similar issues. My friend who looks like a traditional model says that she’s been asked numerous times whether she pukes after she eats and was “jokingly” called a hanger by bigger girls. It doesn’t matter why we comment on people’s eating habits and looks, to do so is simply rude and we should expect to be treated in the same disrespectful manner in return.

It’d be lovely if we could blame this issue on guys as well, but unfortunately ladies this one is on us. Unless we’re dealing with teenage boys or just rude guys no man actually cares whether we’re skinny or not. For most men a real woman is the one they love. Both smaller and bigger girls have their fans. It’s other women that will gossip behind your back when you pick up weight and suggest you go a bit too much to the toilet when you lose a few kilos. In truth, none of it is your business. Make sure that you live up to your standards and leave others alone. If you’re prying too much it’s a sad reflection on yourself. Happy people are too busy being happy to wonder whether others behave and look properly.

If you wonder what does it all have to do with dating, the answer is actually a lot. If we wouldn’t be such bitches to each other maybe it’d be easier for us to upkeep a healthy self esteem and as a result loving relationships.

Dear Reader, now it’s time for your opinion about the matter? Is the notion of a real woman actually judgmental? Are women harsh with judging other women?





  1. I agree. I think real women come in many different sizes and that’s what makes us unique, as soon as we all come in one standard form then the world will be a very boring place. I’ve always been quite skinny – though I’ve grown bigger as I’ve got older! Perhaps we make to much fuss about looks, and size and forget to think about the individual inside, that’s much more important in my view.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I don’t think it’s easy to fix. I think it’s about being more compassionate but this is an effort one should make every time they want to judge someone.


  2. I think it all boils down to to the fact that women always seem to be in competition with one another. Whereas I think most men will big each other up when something good happens, women will fake it and then try and better their female counterpart. And in a world where everyone is having a phat brag and oversharing things, the competitive edge doesn’t help the ladies.

    I read a study that said in the work place men will help other guys progress whereas women feel threatened by their female colleagues and would rather keep them down.

    Then you can look at the jilted wives…they often don’t hate their philandering hubby as much as they hate the homewrecker that stole him away.

    I don’t have a solution to the ‘real women’ problem though. Maybe its in our nature to be jealous and unsupportive of one another. It goes back to that age-old saying : ‘Every woman is potentially a frenmy’

    Liked by 1 person

    • Maybe females just have less (due to sexism and such) and that’s why they’re so defensive about what they have. Besides women tend to be each other’s enemies and often they’re indeed willing to try to take what you have away.


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