Caught in the Act


Being caught in the act is something most people fear, some secretly crave and very few used as the name of their boyband. It has happened to me with a friend once and I used the well-known technique with the “catcher” afterwards – I know that you know and you know that I know that you know so let’s pretend that nothing has happened. Unfortunately, some of these situations are more complicated than that.

Probably the most difficult “caught in the act” scenario is when you’re a parent. I’ve been fortunately spared the awkwardness of catching my parents having sex; they divorced too early. However, I remember a horror story that my friend shared with me. She caught her father on the top of her mom and as an innocent child had no idea what was going on. She subsequently tried to push him off the matriarch as she was worried about the noises the latter was making (moaning, of course). Eventually her mother asked her to leave the room and then probably the weirdest ever, given the context, introduction to sex followed. My friend remained traumatised long afterwards. Would it not be easier if these issues were discussed with children before they lead to situations of that sort?

The reversal of the situation is not much better. No one wants to think about it but young adults often have sex. As they have to use their parents homes for sexual purposes, the risk of being caught is quite high. Parents like to pretend that their children are not sexual beings till they’re confronted with facts. Discovered condoms, a request to pay for a gynie, consent letters for a minor to take contraceptives or being caught in the act – all these can shatter a naive parent’s world. Sadly, the first reaction is often rage, sometimes followed by giving up and accepting the child’s sexual maturity. I have not been in any of the enumerated situations but once after a date my father joked that my shirt was inside out. His face went pale when I actually had a look to check whether it was true. I’m not sure why the existence of my sexuality (especially that taking your top off is something that teenagers do way before they actually have sex) was such a surprise given that I was 18 going 19.

As I mentioned before friends are quite an easy case to solve. Let’s take this situation to the extreme now. Imagine you’re having sex in public in a country that it’s forbidden and you get caught. You may risk prison for what in other places in the world is a naughty thing that many consider a turn on. One should remain cautious when trying to enjoy Western “entertainments” abroad. Many countries have a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’policy but when you get pregnant the fact that you had out-of-wedlock sex cannot be denied. This may get you in trouble in Dubai where a gynecologist is obliged to report a pregnant, unmarried woman. As my friend who works there said, foreigners are treated with more leniency and they’re asked to take a leave of absence to “take care of the problem”. In other words you’re encouraged to either go to your country, give birth and stay there or to have an abortion and come back.

So, Dear Rinsers, have you ever been caught in the act? Have you ever caught someone? Share your stories in the comments section below.


  1. Thankfully, I’m too much of a prude to have been caught in the act. But I did once walk in on a friend … who I was frantically looking for after she vanished on a night out. I was all worried, meanwhile she was busy getting lucky.

    Hmm…your poor friend walking in on her olds. Not sure if that’s the best way to introduce a kid to the birds and bees. Certainly a unique style of parenting. Although I do doubt that any form of sex ‘talk’ could prepare a kid for that kind of trauma!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I think that being caught is quite easy in flat shares and similar living arrangements. Maybe if my friend had been aware of such a thing as sex she’d have been more careful with checking out what her parents are doing in the bedroom.

      Liked by 1 person

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