Travelling can be a very enriching experience that can teach you a lot about the world. You meet people with views completely different than yours, you see places that some only see on the pictures, you get out of your comfort zone. However, certain people develop an addiction to the new and they outroot themselves by never stopping changing countries, fearing everything that even resembles a routine.
A well travelled handsome man you met at an expat event tells you about being tired of traveling and looking for a place to settle down. You look into his beautiful eyes and you see in them the reflection of your wedding dress and the children you two will have one day. Unfortunately few months down the line he tells you that he’s ready to resume his travels and doesn’t even ask whether you’d like to go with him. You wipe your tears away and for a year remember the man as the one who got away, till eventually you admit to yourself that it was his unavailability that really fascinated you and that there was no future for the two of you.
Falling for the ones who keep traveling is easy. They have interesting stories to tell and they know how to charm a lady. They’re affectionate as having no home increases one’s need for human closeness. They also seem to get invested very quickly and before you know it you’re living together and he’s taking up most of your time. Looks like a fairy tale? Beware! The constant traveller will disappear from your life as quickly as he entered it. When the novelty and excitement wears off, he’ll need a new stimulation again.
When you’re being reasonable you know he’s not a good dating material. He earns enough but whatever he earns he spends on his next country move. He makes no savings. He keeps doing the same level of jobs, never moving up. Be it language teaching or work in hospitality industry he continues doing the same things over and over again in different surroundings. His relations are often superficial because friendship requires time and effort. The one thing that changes is his age. The attractiveness starts to fade away and the people he parties with are becoming younger and younger.
Why does he change his life in a pair of revolving doors? Maybe someone tried to ground him early on in life and he got lost in experiencing freedom. Maybe his parents were divorced and observing their constant fights made him never want to marry. Or maybe he just looked at his family members working 8-5 and never experiencing life properly. I guess you never know what made a comitmment phobe who he is. His motivation to look for a better life was right, only that he lost his aim. Regardless of his story, he has to decide he wants to find his way home on his own. Before that happens you’ll be lucky not to be around if you’re looking for something serious.
Dear Rinser, have you encountered the constant traveller? What do you think of a lifestyle which lacks any stability? Share your thoughts in the comment section.