Beware of the Constant Traveler

adrianbautista.com

Travelling can be a very enriching experience that can teach you a lot about the world. You meet people with views completely different than yours, you see places that some only see on the pictures, you get out of your comfort zone. However, certain people develop an addiction to the new and they outroot themselves by never stopping changing countries, fearing everything that even resembles a routine.

A well travelled handsome man you met at an expat event tells you about being tired of traveling and looking for a place to settle down. You look into his beautiful eyes and you see in them the reflection of your wedding dress and the children you two will have one day. Unfortunately few months down the line he tells you that he’s ready to resume his travels and doesn’t even ask whether you’d like to go with him. You wipe your tears away and for a year remember the man as the one who got away, till eventually you admit to yourself that it was his unavailability that really fascinated you and that there was no future for the two of you.

Falling for the ones who keep traveling is easy. They have interesting stories to tell and they know how to charm a lady. They’re affectionate as having no home increases one’s need for human closeness. They also seem to get invested very quickly and before you know it you’re living together and he’s taking up most of your time. Looks like a fairy tale? Beware! The constant traveller will disappear from your life as quickly as he entered it. When the novelty and excitement wears off, he’ll need a new stimulation again.

When you’re being reasonable you know he’s not a good dating material. He earns enough but whatever he earns he spends on his next country move. He makes no savings. He keeps doing the same level of jobs, never moving up. Be it language teaching or work in hospitality industry he continues doing the same things over and over again in different surroundings. His relations are often superficial because friendship requires time and effort. The one thing that changes is his age. The attractiveness starts to fade away and the people he parties with are becoming younger and younger.

Why does he change his life in a pair of revolving doors? Maybe someone tried to ground him early on in life and he got lost in experiencing freedom. Maybe his parents were divorced and observing their constant fights made him never want to marry. Or maybe he just looked at his family members working 8-5 and never experiencing life properly. I guess you never know what made a comitmment phobe who he is. His motivation to look for a better life was right, only that he lost his aim.  Regardless of his story, he has to decide he wants to find his way home on his own. Before that happens you’ll be lucky not to be around if you’re looking for something serious.

Dear Rinser, have you encountered the constant traveller? What do you think of a lifestyle which lacks any stability? Share your thoughts in the comment section.

 

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11 comments

  1. Marje @ Kyrosmagica · March 15, 2016

    My dad was a bit of a constant traveller. He worked abroad for many years but my mum stayed in Edinburgh with us kids! He has many tales to tell, and he’s now 87, and still manages a holiday abroad and a bit of golf. One day I hope to feature him on my blog or perhaps devote a whole blog to him. He is a bit of a character!

    Liked by 1 person

    • zlotybaby · March 15, 2016

      I’d love to read some of your father’s stories! Was your mum not upset about such turn of events? Most women would mind being left on their own for too long.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. bklynboy59 · March 15, 2016

    ex girlfriend was a traveler and had a home to go to. Did both traveled for long periods of time but by the time I came into her life she had settled in her home , then when we met she started talking about traveling again …alittle unsettling for me though to keep hearing her moaning that she didn’t travel like she wanted to because of…me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • zlotybaby · March 15, 2016

      Some people just keep changing the countries. And after a few years of changing countries there comes a moment when you’ve been away for too long and the country where you were born isn’t your home anymore and home is nowhere. But I think from what you’re saying that your ex girlfriend was displaying such tendencies as described.

      Like

  3. EnglishRosiee · March 15, 2016

    It’s easy to find the traveler types attractive. Similar to what I said about holiday romances – these people are unburdened, care-free and generally able to pull of this facade of ‘happiness’ because they don’t have the same responsibilities that those who stay in the same place too. They are not the worst dating prospect but you need to be careful not to let things escalate to more that ‘casual’ dating.

    I guess there is also a type of person who always goes for the traveller. While there are many people that are happy to date their childhood sweetheart, boy next door, family friend, etc etc. There are others who want more excitement than dating a person who is just like them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • zlotybaby · March 17, 2016

      I think there’s a difference between dating a traveller, a constant traveller and a person who has travelled. A traveller is usually just in this stage of his life and whether he likes you or not he will leave because traveling is now on his agenda and he really just wants to take it easy. Dating someone who has travelled is an enriching experience and many people are just attracted to those open minded. A constant traveller is someone who look like he has traveled but isn’t really. He pretends (of maybe partially believes) he wants commitment but the moment excitement of the new disappears and commitment is on the horizon they flee.

      Like

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