By now, you’ve all come to realise that I am a somewhat old fashioned girl (with a bad habit for silver foxes). And if I wasn’t feeling bad enough about turning 30, recently I’ve suddenly found I’ve been receiving an unprecedented amount of attention from younger guys. In some instances, I found myself reading through a profile and thinking ‘oh, this one has potential’ only to feel my heart sink when I saw he was only 26. Ugh, what’s with these young children?! Why are these young boys on the hunt for women that are old enough to be their mother? Mummy issues perhaps! Each to their own, but I personally prefer to steer clear of dating children.

Anyway this new development got me thinking again about the whole age difference issue in dating. We all seem to be a little bit more accepting of older men dating younger chicks but how about when the tables are turned? A quick google search shows that young boys dating older ladies is a phenomenon that is actually taking off. There are even websites dedicated solely to ‘Cougar’ Dating. For instance, one such site called Cougar Life advertises itself as a place to ‘meet divorces, single moms and sex singles looking for that young stud’.

And then we have our celebrity role models showing us how it’s done. Demi Moore dating Ashton Kutcher, 16 years her junior. Madonna, now in her 50s, has dated a string of men half her age and some of whom that are almost as young as her own son (eww!). Julianne Moore, Mariah Carey, Ivana Trump… the list of celebrity cougars goes on. Hmmm…. But where does one draw the line? Is age really nothing but a number? When does the age gap become too big?

I just don’t get the logic here. It’s easy to see why younger women date those silver foxes. It is quite widely accepted that girls mature at a much faster rate than men. We don’t have time to wait for our peers to catch up, so we need to look to the older generation for some action. We just don’t have the time or inclination wait for that 20/30 something guy to finish one last game on his Xbox – we need to get out there have our intellect stimulated by gentlemen that are more worldly wise.

But how does it work for these young boys? We are well aware of the rise of the ‘sensitive’ mama’s… so are the young ones just looking for some lonely lady that’ll provide them with everything mama does but with the additional benefit of sexual favours. But what about the baggage that comes with age? I’ve had to think twice about dating a baby daddy but we all know it’s mum that is usually left holding the baby after the relationship comes tumbling down. Can the fragile minds of these young boys really handle this kind of responsibility? I do wonder how their minds work.

Either way, I’m not convinced. While their attention maybe somewhat flattering (although in reality it just makes me feel rather elderly). I refuse point blank to entertain any of these little boys. Firstly, even looking at their pictures on a dating site makes me feel like a cradle snatcher. Secondly, I do believe that with age their approach to women will improve (well I certainly hope so). Being told by a 26 year old that he knew exactly what I was up to last Thursday at 6pm doesn’t really make me want to run into his arms and just screams STALKER!

OK, over to you dearest rinsers. What do you think of the Cougarlicious approach to dating? Ladies, have you ever dated a younger man? Did it work for you? And guys, what’s with the older woman obessession? Please do enlighten us. And what are the chances of relationships with such massive age gaps surviving? Answers in the comments below. 


  1. I have no experience with young men on dating sites and why they are there. I have experience of young men on other sites who see age difference as no barrier. You are looking from a short age group 26 to 30 I don’t see the issue with that. Consider 26 year old male hitting over 50 female….I think the males are looking for sex rather than committed long term relationships….sex with an older experienced woman hoping she’s bored and would enjoy the experience of a young stud. I think there is an expectation that maybe only sex will be on offer and good sex, without the emotional roller coaster of a younger woman.

    There are also lots of 40 plus women married and bored ready to chat up younger men for sexual encounters. I talked to lots of people when doing the research for converging lives and there are predatory younger males out there as well as your true cougars.

    Certainly there are cyber sex relationships going on on line between older women and younger men,

    I think society sees it OK for the silver fox and the younger woman but there is a stigma between a relationship between older women and younger men which I think is so wrong. If the relationship is a permanent and committed one then it should be OK both ways.
    Or equally frowned upon.
    If young men are looking for mothers must mean young women are relating to the father figure.
    I think the issue is around the nature of the relationship and maybe age isn’t the issue. This is off the top of my head. Might come back to you when I have thought more.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Hey 🙂

      Thanks for your comment. Hope you follow our blog.

      I do get what you are saying about society condoning silver foxes buy frowning upon cougar dating. I’m probably a little young to put myself into the cougar bracket just yet…but even being 4 years older than a guy I doubt would work for me. Maybe I’m shooting myself in the foot but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.

      Liked by 2 people

      • I wasn’t following your blog but I am now.
        It’s doing what is right for you in dating that’s the important thing.
        But I think the cougar issue is an important one and really glad you raised it,because whilst there are predatory females, it’s also a label being hung on any female that is older, that younger guys want to hit upon. I have been happily playing word feud and some guy has started a conversation hey cougar. Ummm excuse me happily playing a word game ….not stalking prey. That’s one of the reasons I wrote the cougar poem…lol.
        I have also raised in the issue in one of the text snippets on the blog.
        My next book is having a for real go get em cougar in it just because it’s another side to relationships. Looking forward to your new posts.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Wow ok I had a friend once when we were 30 who had a 38 year old woman pursue him and told him she would take care of him she had enough money that he would never want for anything …he talk to me about it and we both thought he should leave her alone …she was our parents age and what if he wanted kids??? Ok that was one experience. Another was when I was single before I met my wife I was on a dating site and to be honest I wanted nothing to do with younger women (no offense) my rule was if you were the same age range as my kids 33 and 25 you’re too young for me…so of course I get a very attractive woman hitting me on my profile and send me a msg and as soon as I see the age …I declined and I did explain what I was looking for. She tried with the age is nothing but a number what is true to a point but it was about where I was in my life…she was looking forward to starting a family , I wasn’t been there done that so it wasn’t going to work.
    My first wife was only 2 years older than I and at the time everyone acted like it was a huge age gap when we first dated .I think with younger guys /older women its the challenge of let me see if I can get this old lady and turn her out. In the case of my friend he was not ready for that kind of challenge and left her alone. Can a relationship stand massive age gap…all depends on the people involved and how they match their priorities up and if they have the same goals.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. 😉 I love your sense of humor. Enjoyable reading and very much true. Despite the fact that I’m 55, I am quite a newcomer in this area. I am happily married for 31 years and have raised two young adults, a boy and a girl, our children. I’m also from a former communist country (Romania) and western democracy is only 26 years old here. So when my kids made me a Facebook page, I have found myself in a buzzing and sometimes overwhelming new world . In time I have learned a lot about people, cultures, gender identity, sex and myself; I could say that I these few years I have rediscovered myself and answered some questions, opening new ones.
    Since I am friendly and easygoing, I got myself with a lot of young men looking for support, understanding and friendship. It seems that girls are better “equipped ” for certain challenges. As a mother of a young man, I have come to the conclusion that in the way today’s society is built, it’s harder to become the MAN everyone expects ,than to become a woman. Maybe this is one of the reasons why young men tend to look for a more mature woman in their lives. It’s like a real proof that you’re a true man; after all, you don’t expect to win the heart of a mature woman by acting silly.
    I never took for “man” the boys of my generation and I realized quickly that I go well with those who are at a 5-6 years distance. My husband is 5 years older than me. But I have also noticed another aspect: I have a special bond with those 8 years younger than me.
    I have no prejudice about love. I think love is the most beautiful dream fulfilled and each flower has its butterfly. Who am I to say if it’s good or wrong if two adults love each other? They know better. I know only my heart and even then, I know I might get caught by surprise.
    So, on the whole time will say why young men seek mature women. And of course, I look forward for more such lovely reading from you. I keep following. 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  4. It’s funny, I tried to tackle the “how much older/younger can you date” question in a fairly recent podcast (here if you’re interested: but I don’t think we really addressed why someone would want to date a cougar or an older man. I think it really all depends on where each person is in their life vs. how young they are. If a 400 year old is dating a 40 year old and one of them still wants to do the whole bottle service thing and the other is more focused on low key nights in, things wont work. A 40 year clubgoing type would probably click well with a 25 yr old who likes clubbing. As long as people are on the same page, age *mostly* doesn’t matter.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Look forward to listening to your podcast. I guess in theory a young soul in an old persons body can date a old soul in a young persons body… but I wonder what the stats are on whether these things last? But I guess it only really matters if you are really looking for a LTR. If people are just after a light and fluffy fling then age really won’t be a problem. 😛

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m glad to know I’m not the only one who is a little leery of dating a younger man. I’m 50, newly single, and terrified of starting to date again. My co-workers recently tried to fix me up with a guy, but I freaked out when I learned he was only 37. Maybe some day I’ll be able to date a younger man, but my confidence is just not strong enough to deal with a 13-year age difference for my first post-divorce date.

    Love your blog! I’m so glad I found it!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Alright, first off two things that must be stated to make this comment relevant: 1) I’m a self professed lesbian, so I can’t speak personally to the guy/gal dynamic as it relates to age; 2) I honestly and truly don’t think age matters, within reason (I’d say my age range is about ten years MAX, and that’s ten years up certainly not down). That being said, while I find age to be irrelevant I think that maturity (and intelligence, swoon) is beyond important, which is what a lot of people confuse or correlate age with. Anecdotally I’ve heard that yes, men mature slower and later so maybe the maturity gap is even more intense in heterosexual relationships, I’ll give you that. Personally, I’ve always been more mature and intellectual than what is demanded of my age and thusly have always been attracted to older women who seemed more “on my level,” no huge leap of reasoning there. Maybe there’s a component of comfort and security involved as well (not that I expect these women to “mother” me, ewww), with age usually comes a bit more goal oriented, level headed centeredness that I can always use more of in my life (lead by example eh). Hypocritically though I would probably never entertain a serious relationship with a girl drastically (more than five years lets say but in all reality probably two years) my junior, again just because of the maturity factor. But of course I’d date a “cougar,” however you’d like to define that, in a heartbeat. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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