Taking the LEAP – Shifting Gender Roles or Indulging the Uncommitted Man?

Leap Prop.jpg

February is the month of LOVE and all the fabulous people (yes, I am February baby :P). And this year we got an extra-long February – an extra day to be LOVABLE and do LOVABLE things (that or just go on yet another Tinder date from hell).  But for the modern, ’emancipated’ woman, this is not just an extra day. Once every four years, we get a February 29th aka Leap Day which is one of those rare occasions when old-fashioned gender stereotypes go out of the window and thanks to Irish folklore women can take control and propose to their man.

But I wonder how much does an occasion like Leap Day really shake up traditional gender roles does? Or is just an excuse for that chick who has been in an LTR for ever and a day to get down on one knee and force that spineless man of hers to marry her? Are there some men out there that would find such a proposal emasculating or are most of today’s mummy’s boys be secretly happy that the hard work has been done for them?

As I have established in previous posts, alpha males really are a thing of the past. Don’t get me wrong, I am all for women’s rights but is this whole leap day proposal thing just a symptom of our times where woman are being forced to wear the trousers because they have no other choice. There has been plenty of research to prove that woman are having to date down (in terms of intellect, men still generally earn more) but are these reversals in gender roles simply serving to make what is already very much a man’s world even more favourable for the…erm…MEN?

So, we’ve all heard this well-established belief that a man should spend three times his monthly salary on an engagement ring for his princess, right? Apart from the fact that this silly calculation was actually a ‘tradition’ (read: excellent, excellent marketing strategy) concocted up by De Beers to increase their diamond sales in the 1970s, do you really think many 21st century men are going fork out a small fortune for a bit of bling? I doubt it!

Call me old-fashioned and send me back to the 1950s (despite some of my friends’ best attempts I haven’t yet been persuaded to ask a guy out ever, even on Tinder….the best I could do is subtly hint that I like alcohol which in my world is a green light for them to offer to take me out for booze). But I think taking the leap and proposing to your man is yet another example of silly women indulging the mummy’s boys of the world who are a) too lazy to propose, b) scared of commitment or c) simply to broke ass to put a ring on it.

And it goes beyond popping the question. If gender roles are really changing shouldn’t men be taking over some of the traditionally ‘female’ roles in a relationship/marriage too? When a woman does the proposing or becomes the main breadwinner in a relationship shouldn’t real role reversal mean that the man takes over the cooking/ cleaning/ looking after the baby duties? Hmm…

Anyway Rinsers… this video has been doing the rounds on social media recently and I think it sums up what I am getting at more articulately than my bumbling rant does, so watch it and share your thoughts on leap day proposals and reversed gender roles in the comments below.  Would you or have you proposed to bloke? Or are you a traditionalist, who believes that there are some jobs that should still be left to the boys? And guys, how would you feel if you chick popped the question?




  1. One point …if you have to make or force someone to decide where the relationship is going …meaning you have to ask him to marry you …then the decision was made long ago (which is to move on with out him )
    I am not sure how I would feel if someone popped the question to me because it never happened. The women I have dated and married were more traditional in that sense that they were expecting and rightlty so for the man in this case me to ask for their hand in marriage.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Exactly… I feel with women proposing there seems to be an element of desperation/trying to tie the guy down. But I’m a traditionalist soooooo maybe I’ll just end up waiting forever for someone to propose…that or be dropping lots of hints!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I think it’s indulging the commitment freak! I mean what is a guy supposed to do when a woman is so despo to propose? If he says no the relationship will be over. It doesn’t mean though that he thought he was ready. If he had been ready he would have proposed. I think even in modern world guys think they’re the ones that should do the proposing. If they don’t do it they don’t want to do it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Lovely post 😀 Glad it all worked out for you? But do you really think you could have carried on normally if he has said no?! And as I posed the question in my post – did you propose because you were fed up of waiting for him to ask?

      Liked by 1 person

      • Thank you for reading. Mum was the reason behind my asking her for his hand. Partly because she hadn’t spoke to his ex wife for the entire time they were married (20+ yrs) so I wanted his happieness to be in her hands… crafty I say. But yes is the answer, I really would as men always do accept his decision. Marriage was always the bonus or the cherry on top and not the substance of us. As it was the timing for a proposal was awful with her dying before the day. But he knew something was going on as I tried to undo the things I’d planned for proposal day. When I had no choice but to tell him what was planned but i had obviously cancelled under the circumstances… He told me he had already booked a pastor paid for and arranged the wedding, which he would have told me about on the way to Hawaii , a holiday he had planned the year before.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I don’t know of anything that should keep a woman from proposing to a man, as long as she’s serious and not trying to manipulate or pressure him into anything. But maybe she should ask him out on a date first. That does not mean, though, that I think men are spineless mummy’s boys who are non-alpha males, lower in intellect, too poor to buy an engagement ring, too lazy, or afraid of commitment. If guys believe all those things, maybe that’s why they’re not asking. I don’t have a problem with men taking on some of the traditional female roles, like taking care of a baby. I think one of the main reasons society is in crisis mode today is because of traditions.

    Liked by 2 people

    • The point I was trying to make (although probably not so articulately) is that role reversal is good BUT only if it’s fair. If women are becoming breadwinners then men should do their fair share of the household chores.It should be a partnership of equals. But it seems that these days men want to have their cake and eat it too…I’m just saying women need to be careful of not falling into a trap like the women in the video !!!!


  4. I think everything is changing. And if it isn’t, we should be changing it. Forget the rules about who asks who. Be sensible and spend money on real life rather than engagement rings and lavish weddings. We all have the same power, men or women. Use it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You do make a good point. We get used to seeing all these spectacular weddings shared on Facebook it is almost as if its about out doing one another rather than being about the couple themselves….it just seems like an awful lot of money wasted, especially when statistically many of these ppl will be divorced a few years down the line. #justsaying!


    • I’m totally with you on this one. How long do these guys expect us to chit chat with them and stay interested if they aren’t man enough to even ask us out for a drink? The longer they take the more risk there is of us girls building things up in our minds!!


  5. I’m all for the blurring of gender roles! Men proposing to women, women proposing to men, women proposing to women, men proposing to men – so glorious how we’re moving toward an era where we don’t have to be bound to such strict rules with regard to gender. Sure, there might be a seeming rise in mama’s boys, but there’s also a rise in the more sensitive and more socially progressive male, as well. There aren’t just the douchey troglodytes or the spineless wimps. There are some quality guys out there… somewhere… Probably already snatched up because of their awesomeness!

    Liked by 2 people

  6. I’ve seen the Ariel advert doing the rounds and it really does make a good point. The ‘equality’ women now have is very much superficial…sure they have the right to vote (well in civilised countries), get jobs, go to university and generally stand on their own two feet BUT as you say it now seems that women generally carry relationships. They’ve been doing that all along anyway (who usually is left holding the baby) but now they also have to bring in the bucks while the house husband plays computer games all day.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.