Do love and marriage really go together like horse and carriage?

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Etsy.com

I remember watching not the smartest yet entertaining sitcom as a kid called “Married with children” about a slightly dysfunctional American family. The theme song was Frank Sinatra’s “Love and marriage” which tells us that apparently the two go together like a horse and carriage. Do they still in our times?

People often don’t get married these days and stay in partnerships for years and years. If the legal framework of the country grants the same rights for both partners and husbands, and wives there’s really no logical reason to get married any more.

Having said that marriage still seems to have its value for many people. I’m not talking about the religious sort, they of course have reasons to get married such as to stop living in sin and upsetting God. For the rest of us marriage may be just one of the romantic things to do which we want to do just because. Marriage even in the modern world retains its symbolic dimension.

There’s something special about the vows and the promise of doing our best to have a happily ever after with our partner. There’s some commitment in it, that moving in together, sharing life expenses or even having children don’t have. Of course, there are divorces and nothing is ever certain but by deciding to marry someone we’re promising to do our best for the partnership to last for the mutual benefit.

One may say that this sort of symbolism is redundant but I’d disagree. Humans are highly emotional and sentimental beings. I’m sure even you, Dear Reader, had an experience of liberation when you burnt pictures of the ex that hurt you or went on a date with a hottie to a restaurant that used to be yours and your previous partner’s. I’m not a supporter of socially imposed traditions and I don’t think that marriage has the same significance for everyone. I know, however, that when you believe that you’re with the right person and you have a bright future in front of you marriage is something that on a personal level feels natural and right.

Marriage should be a sign of love but of course that people were in love at the point when they were getting hitched doesn’t mean it always going to stay that way. Compatibility is one thing and working on the relationship is another. One has to of course avoid the evil of excessive comfort and should never take their partner for granted, even if or rather especially when they put a ring on it.

To sum up, your newly enaged #zlotybaby, would like to say that she still believes in marriage as an relationship upgrade that has a significance to many people. There’s a reason why couple in partnerships for years and with children often decide to get married after all.

Now to you, Dear Rinsers. Is the link between love and marriage an artifact of the past? Is marriage important to you?

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14 comments

  1. bklynboy59 · March 1, 2016

    First congratulations on your engagement…will we get to see the ring? and have you two set a date?

    Liked by 2 people

    • zlotybaby · March 2, 2016

      Maybe 😉 the date is tbc. International marriages needs lots of documents so we’ll get a date as soon as it’s sorted.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. bklynboy59 · March 1, 2016

    Now to answer the question as to whether there is a link between love and marriage ? You touched on it toward the end of your post (see I read all the way through:)) I know, however, that when you believe that you’re with the right person and you have a bright future in front of you marriage is something that on a personal level feels natural and right. Bingo well said. Many times when someone questions whether marriage is important in some not all it is because the commitment isn’t there for their partner and well …are looking for a way to escape the relationship and one way is to attack the importance of marriage and minimize it by saying it is just a piece of paper…cheapen it as it were. But again your comment that when you believe that you are with the right person and you have a bright future in front of you marriage feels natural and right is spot on.
    Very important post for you going forward.

    And yes marriage is important to me it’s why I did this past June.

    Liked by 1 person

    • zlotybaby · March 2, 2016

      Agreed. Some people don’t treat it as commitment though. They think already before getting married that they can always get divorced. It’s the worst attitude ever. Of course you can always get divorced but if that’s what you’re thinking there’s really no point in getting married.

      Liked by 1 person

      • bklynboy59 · March 2, 2016

        Agreed …I didn’t go into this thnking if it doesn’t work I’ll get divorce…why set ourselves up for failure

        Liked by 1 person

      • zlotybaby · March 2, 2016

        I had a thought of this sort with my first serious relationship when I was 18. It was a clear sign that it wasn’t meant to be.

        Liked by 1 person

      • bklynboy59 · March 2, 2016

        This is my second marriage, my first was when I was 21 and in either case did I go into it thinking if it doesn’t work out I’ll get divorced. But yes when you think the end before the beginning it is a clear sign it is not meant to be but again congratulations and enjoy the moments in your relationship going forward.

        Liked by 1 person

      • zlotybaby · March 2, 2016

        Thank you! I think it’s good to have some experience. I had some relationships that were clearly not right which helped me to realize what I really wanted and what is important for me.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. EnglishRosiee · March 2, 2016

    I think the truth is that every little girl dreams of meeting Prince Charming and having the perfect wedding but as we get older we have to modify our idea of what a fairytale ending should be but I think the intention still holds true. As much as any sad spinster would deny they probably aren’t any different – well the only difference is that they’ve given up on that dream. Guys, maybe a bit different. I don’t think they all necessarily dream of marriage all their life … so (hopefully) when they meet the girl of their dreams and pop the question – its more of a big deal ( I have a post on why men should do the proposing for tomorrow.).

    Love and Marriage doesn’t seem to be inextricably linked as it once was. For many, especially at a certain age, marriage seems to be a right of a passage (as much as divorce will be when so many people do it for the wrong reasons). I don’t think people should take the decision lightly. Divorce shouldn’t really be thought of as an option from the outset. The same way abortion should not be thought of as an option when one decides to have unprotected sex. Divorce comes with huge financial and emotional costs which don’t necessarily just fall to the idiot couple that decided to tie the knot on a whim.

    Anyways congrats to you and Mr #zlotybaby. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • zlotybaby · March 2, 2016

      Sure. That’s why I think that marriage to a vast extent socially infiltrated into you. No little girl dreams that she’ll meet her Prince Charming and they’ll live together happily ever after. I think a reasonable marriage, as in not getting married just for the sake of doing it but because one wants to, is a very romantic idea. It adds a bit of magic to our everyday life and I think that it’s important to keep the tradition going. People who shy away from marriage as a principle are either commitment phobes or really didn’t meet anyone even close to what they really want. On the other hand rushing into marriage because why not is also silly. One should know what their doing. I will pass congrats to mr zloty baby. I’m sure he’ll love the nickname 😉

      Like

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