Life is full of ups and downs and it’s hard to be at our best all of the time. Maybe it’s that you’ve been kicked out onto the street 4 days before the end of the month, maybe you’ve started a stressful job or maybe it’s just that you just bumped into your ex and his new girlfriend in Woolies. Whatever the case, tough times have the potential to bring out the best and also the worst in a person. But how about if Prince Charming walks into our life on one of these dark days? If it’s meant to be, will it still be even in you look like a vulture and are constant catatonic state or does bad timing have the potential to ruin our chance of happily-ever-after? If he really is your Prince Charming will he see your true sparkling personality beyond that veil of despair that currently engulfs you?
I’ve heard mixed views on the question of timing. On one hand you have those that belong to the ‘in another life…’ school of thought. These are the people who’d argue that had the circumstances been slightly different things could have potentially worked out. Maybe it turns out that the computer kid you dismissed at university ten years down the line has grown into his own skin and is now carrying off that geek chic vibe pretty well and suddenly you become willing to consider him as a potential match. Sure people and circumstances do change and it is possible for people change their minds on what they want out of a relationship. But truthfully, I think these kind of stories are rather rare.
Then on the other hand, we have the other people who’ll tell you that if it is meant to happen, it’ll happen regardless of the circumstances. For instance, say you meet this guy and the sparks are flying and you both get on like a house on fire. Potential for a relationship? Sure if only he hadn’t just got out of a ‘long-term’ (read 6 month long) relationship and has all his bros telling him that he should stick to hos (no ‘relationship’ girls) till at least 2022. Although, you should be able to spot those glaring red flags by now you are blinded by your ‘love’ for this damaged Peter Pan that you convince yourself that it’s totally possible for your little FWB arrangement to develop into a full-blown fairytale adventure (after all time is on your side…you do have till 2022!!).
Ugh you silly, silly little girl. When will you realise that it is not a case of bad timing but more the fact that while he is happy to monopolise head space and have intellectual discussions with you but the truth is he’d never introduce a liberal, forward thinking woman of the world to his highly conservative backwater family. No way! A couple of months into this great little FWB thing you’ve got going it all comes tumbling down as the guy who was only into casual fun gets engaged to a girl with perfect hair who ticks all the boxes and can be taken home to meet the parents. Fact is it wasn’t the timing that was wrong, it was you!
Regardless, of what you believe. The truth is there is no such thing as perfect timing. People are constantly changing (and hopefully improving) but we’ll be waiting around for an eternity if we want all the stars to be aligned. There is no such thing as a convenient time for a relationship – we could always be preoccupied with something else if we choose to be. However, if we really want something/someone badly enough we’ll do everything in our power to make it happens. But we need to be realistic as opposed to pig-headed when it comes to human relationships and realise it takes two to tango. No matter how much Cinderella may want Prince Charming she can’t make happily ever after happen alone. Both parties need to be on the same page and if they are not, maybe we need to stop blaming the timing and instead accpet the fact that he may not be our prince.
OK Rinsers your turn. Share your views on the importance of ‘timing’ in the comments below. Is bad timing just an excuse used by those who are unlucky in love? Instead of blaming time and circumstance for our situation should we instead work on ourselves and take ownership when things don’t go as we’d like in a relationship?