The Five Year Engagement – A Realistic Reflection of Modern-Day Romance?

Five Yr Engagement.jpgI have a very limited movie collection…you know with having to schedule all my Tinder finding time to watch a movie at home is quite a luxury. One of the dozen or so DVDs I own is the 2012 romantic comedy – The Five Year Engagement. Those who have seen this film might only remember it for the LOLs but I think on closer reflection we can see that it actually sheds light on many aspects of the way we conduct modern-day romantic relationships.

The basic plot centres on Tom who is a chef at a fancy restaurant and Violet, an ambitious PhD student. Following a bit of a botched up proposa this happily engaged couple find themselves unable to progress with planning a wedding as a result of various unforeseen events such as Tom’s best friend getting Violet’s sister pregnant at the engagement party and subsequently having a shot-gun wedding and Violet getting an exciting job opportunity which forced the couple to move to Michigan.

Having moved across the country to let his woman follow her dream poor Tommy finds that his own career becomes stunted while hers continues to blossom (delaying wedding plans even more). Even though he should be happy for her he becomes increasingly bitter and disillusioned with life. Anyway as the years go by since the initial proposal, the couple’s grandparents start to die and the pressure to hurry the nuptials along intensifies. Then just before she is due to walk down the aisle Violet gets face-raped by her boss and after a whole slap-stick chase scene through the snow – the end up calling off the engagement.

Not going to ruin the ending for those of you who haven’t yet seen the movie. Although a little cheesy, it’s actually pretty good for one of those days when you are sick or lying in heap after drinking too much the night before. Also I do think it does raise some important questions about the challenges we face in relationships as well as about the nature of modern romance.

Is there too much pressure in this age of oversharing for people to have such spectacular weddings that they feel the need to keep putting it off until the time is right? Are relationships where one party is more career-driven/successful than the other doomed for failure? As women become more powerful and career-focused do we just end up emasculating all the men around us? Give us your thoughts about the movie in the comments below and whether you think behind all the comedy the film sheds some light on important trends in modern-day relationships.


  1. The only pressure we feel is the pressure we put on ourselves for the spectacular wedding when just something simple will do.
    If you go into a career driven one is more successful type of situation feeling it is doomed for failure then it is already doomed , but if the mindset of the couple in the relationship is on the same page and their mind set is right …then it isn’t doomed. Do successful women emasculate the men around them ???Depends on the man and how he responds to a strong career driven woman.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I don’t agree that the only pressure for a big wedding comes from ourselves. Every Monday you log onto Facebook and you are exposed to all these fabulous weddings…swans, doves, fireworks, circus performers, and don’t even get me started on destination weddings. I’ve even had friends tell me they’ve got themselves in to debt simply to ensure that they had a dream wedding. Personally, I’m a fan of eloping or popping down to the registry office during your lunch break and then spending the cash on an epic honeymoon. But different strokes for different folks.

    As for the career women – sure there are more and more mummy’s boys around but remember that when she controls the purse strings he is her biatch…I don’t think many men like that in reality. But hey? What can we do? We are the brainier sex after all 😉


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