When it comes to dating it seems you can never win. If you are too picky you get branded a bitch and if you are ‘nice’ like yours truly then you just end up hating on dating. My approach to dating has always been to give anyone vaguely decent (i.e their opening line isn’t DTF ??? Which for the elders among us stands for Down To Fuck?) a chance. The justification behind this all-inclusive approach is that I really don’t expect to find my Prince Charming on the internet (this is NOT what fairytales are made of!) but I do think of it as a good way of extending my social circle and possibly having some fun along the way. And who knows maybe that socially-retarded guy that got beaten with a ugly stick has a hot brother he could introduce you too?
Sadly, by being a ‘nice’ girl and employing non-discriminatory dating practices has not really got me very far. Out of +/- 30 dates, I’ve probably met 3 or 4 guys that I’ve crushed on somewhat, but even then none of them were really compatible. Sure, going out on dates for the sake of it does help improve your social skills and I’m definitely more confident around blokes because of it. But eventually, after you’ve explained why you relocated to South Africa for about the millionth time, the novelty of free wine wears off and leaves you a bit disillusioned.
So what is the solution? Well apparently there are lots of people in the same boat as me – just fed up of dating and not being able to find any quality men out there.Does the problem lie in the fact that Tinder/OKC are open to everyone and their dog? Would employing a little bit of exclusivity make the issue of sifting through all the deadwood a little more manageable? Sure, these apps allow us to use filters to narrow down the search but this doesn’t actually prevent someone from lying about their vital stats online.
We are all busy people and we don’t have time to stress ourselves out analysing the minute details of any potential date we may embark on. Well, over in the First World it seems they have come up with a solution. Dating apps which keep out the ‘undesirables’. For example, The League is an app developed in U.S of A that vets all its members to ensure that they are all high-achievers. Anyone wanting to join needs to give the app access to their LinkedIn profile and even then apparently there are around 100,000 people on the waiting list. Crazy !!! In the UK, they have an app called Luxy which is dubbed ‘Tinder without the poor people’ where members have to have an income of GBP 100K per year. I know its incredibly un-PC but I have to say I do secretly love the idea. At least you know none of those guys are going to be taking you to McDs on a date!
I can’t honestly say how I feel about these more selective dating apps. I have to admit that while much of the LOLs I’ve had through dating has been thanks of the so-called ‘undesirables’ but there comes a point when the whole process of being ‘nice’ to lame mummy’s boys with no banter just becomes tedious. Perhaps it’s time to let someone else do the vetting?
OK, so over to you Rinsers. How to feel about these selective dating apps? Are they really any different from allowing us to filter our choices according to race, education, political leanings, etc? Or are these apps just exacerbating social class divisions and could they potentially stop us from ever meeting our Prince? Give me your views in the comments below.