Anyone swiping in Cape Town this week won’t fail to notice an influx of Brits that have infiltrated the Tinderverse. The Barmy Army have descended upon the Mother City and with these Brits comes this wonderful thing called BANTER. As much as I complain about the men of the green and pleasant land and am forever saying that I left that god-forsaken place in search of LOVE, the truth if there is one thing I miss about Blighty, its banter!

The Urban Dictionary defines banter as the: ‘supple term used to describe activities or chat that is playful, intelligent and original. Banter is something you either possess or lack, there is no middle ground. It is also something inherently English, stemming as it does from traditional hi-jinks and tomfoolery of British yesteryear.’

I wouldn’t necessarily say that the Brits own it, but they a certainly damn good at it and it’s definitely one of the things going for them. Whilst on my travels, I semi-landed a date with a very good looking Brit and even though I knew nothing necessarily positive would come out of it I was willing to venture out to some unknown place because I thought there’d be some good banter in it for me. Sadly, despite some witty conversation on WhatsApp, my fellow countryman turned out to be one of those ‘good-looking and know it’ types who decided to flake on me but requested I keep my evening open for him. The point I’m getting at here though is that banter is incredibly important in a world of ‘Hey. How are you?’ messages (or better yet ‘Hey. Do you like sex?’). Having the ability to engage a girl in a light-hearted (non pervy) conversation is even more important in the digital age, where most people only get that one chance to grab your attention.

Secondly, we live in a rather grim world full of bad people so dating should be fun. And that’s what banter is all about having fun. Boys. nobody wants to hear a sob story about how your mummy never loved you and how you were shipped off to boarding school and forced to play the biscuit game. No girl really needs to hear about all your financial difficulties or about your recent colonoscopy. Sure, once you’ve won us over, you can gently introduce to all your baggage but understand all this serious stuff is NOT appropriate first date conversation. I think it would be safe to say that most half-intelligent women would like some witty banter rather than the serious stuff that simply serves to dampen their spirit.

Oh and really no girl wants to go on a date with a guy that takes himself too seriously… it’s not attractive to see a dude lose it when you make a slightest joke made about going to Church for the free booze (if you are a fanatical Bible basher it’s best to declare it on your OKC profile).

OK now Rinsers, tell me…how important is it for your potential Prince Charming to engage in a bit of banter? Is it attractive or just some annoying British quirk? Share your stories in the comments below.

And for those of you who still remain confused about what this banter nonsense is – check out this video. :





  1. bklynboy59 · January 7, 2016

    interesting post. I wonder if we as a society over do it when it comes to dating . What I mean is banter is rather simple yet you want it , yet it seems few do it? I don’t get it .

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · January 7, 2016

      Banter is not simple. Otherwise every guy would have it and it wouldn’t be something special.

      So, the other day I was out with a bunch of a Brit guys that we met at the cricket. I didn’t physically find any of these guys attractive but the banter was so good that I didn’t want to leave the party. I had a first date scheduled though, so instead of leave the banter, I invited the date to join us. Not the most appropriate first date behavior, but he took it well…and I had no regrets 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  2. soddinl · January 7, 2016

    Love a banter! Nothing’s more of a turn off than a boring conversation with no back and forth. I didn’t realise it was seen as a British thing though!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Maayan · January 7, 2016

    How important is witty banter? Crucial!!
    Is it attractive? It’s damn sexy!!
    Banter, and a healthy dose of wit and sarcasm are crucially important in a potential partner, ESPECIALLY on a first date when you need something to sweep you off your feet. As for attractiveness, I find that the ability to hold a good banter can make even an average-looking person very sexy, and vice versa – the inability to conduct a lighthearted witty conversation and laugh at jokes about boozing at church will make even the sweetest eye candy totally unattractive.
    Now to find me a hot Brit to banter with and prove the above allegations 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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  5. Phoebe grove · January 24, 2016

    Yep, Banter, is a reason I am probably still single. Call me naive but I can’t tell when a guy (even a girl) is bantering with me? I can’t tell when he is joking, teasing, flirting, or just mean or selfish. Why can’t people just have a normal conversation, slip in a joke to laugh with or at, but don’t throw an insult and pass it of as joking. (that’s banter. right?)
    So basicly I don’t even participate in case I say something stupid.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · January 26, 2016

      I think the key is not to be sensitive and also to find someone you can bounce off. It’s meant to b fun. So if it’s not move on. Find someone else.

      Liked by 1 person

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  7. myfemalepersuasion · March 6, 2016

    yes, banter in dating is very important! and the sob story guys rarely ever got a second date with me during my 3 -year dating stint. re british guy i’ve dated for a while, he’s good with banter, but only if he likes the person. lol. other than that, he looks pretty stern.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · March 9, 2016

      You make a good point. Banter on works if the two people can bounce off one another. In some cases someone may have good banter but it could go over the others persons head.

      Liked by 1 person

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  9. Hopelessly Romantic Cinderella · November 18, 2016

    Golly. For me, its the banter that keeps me on my toes and always going back for more.


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