The fact that many people believe something doesn’t make it right. The Earth wasn’t flat regardless of how many human beings supported the view and that a fat free diet does actually more harm than good even if there was a point when it was extremely popular. We’re quite adaptable to changes in all areas of life apart from the arguably most important one, the dimension of feelings. With psychology still considered by many a pseudoscience for weaklings and inept people, its findings are often ignored for the sake of old wives tales. Let’s have a look at the harmful beliefs about love that people choose to stick to.
Everyone tells you that true love is difficult and requires effort. You hear it in Disney movies, romance novels and even inspirational quotes on Facebook. That’s also a very convenient belief of yours for all the emotionally unavailable boys out there. It’s also utter nonsense. If it’s difficult, there’s probably a reason for it being difficult as in you guys are not a match or one of you is not really into this whole thing. Of course in a relationship itself there’ll be ups and downs but I’m afraid when they’re just downs they’re not going to accumulate your karma and make this relationship good at some point. If it requires mostly effort and causes you predominantly pain while you hang on to the occasional moments of happiness it’s not worth it.
For centuries women have been attributing most vices to this one “truth” of “men just being like that”. Your husband cheated on you with your best friend? Men are just like that. Your husband hits you? Men are just like that. Your husband doesn’t do anything around the house? You get the idea… Don’t let anyone tell you similar things. That other people agree to be treated in a certain way doesn’t mean that you have to. The fact that a man cheats or misbehaves in any other way is his fault that he should take personal responsibility for.
Last but not least, many tend to think that love remains unchanged forever. It appears and it stays the way it started or it’s not the real thing is an idea expressed quite often. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work like this. Even if you’re lucky enough to find the person you’ll manage to have a successful lifelong relation with, the feelings you have for them will change. People who are counting on constant butterflies and related concentration problems because of their partners will keep forever changing them. Love changes as the relationship changes. Chasing the butterflies is a way to achieve constant novelty but it deprives a person of the quality of intimacy and trust that needs time to grow.
To conclude, the world is full of harmful beliefs that are simply not true and make us more miserable than happy. Make sure to rethink what you hear for yourself and don’t agree with everyone just because it’s easier.
Tell me, Dear Rinser, do you believe in the abovementioned ideas? Or maybe there are other things you hear about love that make you cringe?