A Beautiful Mind : Dating Street Smart vs. Book Smart

book smart vs. street smart dating

I’m often ridiculed by my friends for crushing on ‘ugly’ guys/elderly trolls. But what do these superficial fools know? Looks aren’t everything! Maybe I’m not always attracted to the conventionally good looking blokes but don’t you think sometimes a person’s crooked nose, bad hair and rotten teeth can be overlooked if they possess a beautiful mind?  Let’s face it, intelligence is attractive. I’d rather lose 5 hours of my life being challenged intellectually than drooling over a hottie who does nothing but agree with everything I say. However, as was reiterated in Date-Onomics, in our highly advanced society, the odds of finding a man who is your intellectual equal aren’t very favourable for us clever girls.

The way I see it, we can either cry about it, resort to ‘dating down’ or rethink our definition of what intelligence is. It’s important to realise that just because someone is book smart – a straight-A student with 5 PhDs – doesn’t necessarily mean they street smart – as in having life experience, the emotional intelligence to understand people and generally being able to do more alpha-male type practical things such as heavy lifting and changing light bulbs. Society may define intelligence by how many university degrees a person has or what job they do but is this really enough when it comes to dating?

No Game

In the dating world being able to be read people and act accordingly is of paramount importance. A successful first date requires flowing conversation not a monologue where a he tells you how to programme a computer. He may have been a child-genius once, but the fact that he has no game when it comes to women and stammers and stumbles at the mention of Tinder and practically runs off the moment you get your flirt on, might leave a girl wondering if despite being regarded as an ‘expert in his field’, his expertise has any hope of extending into the bedroom or if in fact he is a just 30-something virgin who spent his youth with his head in the books and failed to notice the existence of the opposite sex entirely?

God Smarts

You want to meet some really stupid ‘clever’ men?  Look no further than Team God – where no amount of scientific knowledge can trump the word of the big G. It’s possibly just my Atheist/Agnostic/Hater of God ways but you can’t blame a girl for being confused when despite his academic accolades her date tells her she should enjoy her life in hell because she supports the use of contraception. Ugh, let’s just thank the man upstairs that matters didn’t escalate into the bedroom otherwise who knows she could be blessed with his spawn by now.

Mama’s ‘clever’ little boy?

We’re all well aware by now that the world is now full of mama’s boys but is being ‘book smart’ just an excuse for these guys continuing to sitting on their sorry asses and indulge in more girly past times instead of helping with practical matters like old-school men used to?  For instance, how long can a girl brag about the boyfriend she has lovingly nicknamed Little Einstein when he can’t do basic everyday taskS such as driving a car or doing the dishes? Nobody wants to marry ‘an intellectual’, that can’t be relied upon to help out with some DIY.

And finally, no amount of education can make him a good person if he is rotten to the core. Not all of of those Ashley Madison type cheaters were total dumb assess (although, it could be argued otherwise) without even Matric to their name, they were your doctors, lawyers and accountants, etc. So while being some sort of smart is certainly important, maybe the nature of a beautiful mind differs depending on who we are engaging with and maybe it’s not necessarily about looking for a man that has the right university degree or job but instead finding the person who is gets our way of thinking.

Alrighty, Dear Rinsers – How important is it for you to date you intellectual equal? Do you think it’s possible for a member of MENSA to have a successful relationship with a ‘dumb blonde’? Is it more important to be street smart than book smart? Have you ever ‘dated up’ or ‘down’ in terms of intelligence? In your search for love how important is it for a potential suitor to have a beautiful mind? Tell us in the comments below.   

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18 comments

  1. bklynboy59 · December 3, 2015

    All what you say is important Physical attraction has to be there as well as the brains and the ability to speak well. Yes it is also important to be smart other than book smart and know how to relate to people. From my own experience it was important for me to find someone that was my equal in terms of life experience and wants and desires. What I was looking for beyond the looks was someone with a good heart and a good mind …and I find and married her.:)

    Liked by 2 people

  2. patriciamanning · December 3, 2015

    Jeez! Just date/get engaged to/marry that troll then!! If he is so intelligent to overcome/make up for his unfortunate looks, then he must be absolutely brilliant and have “game,” as in the ability to flirt/encourage fun, whit-filled conversation/make you feel absolutely wonderful, then ignore your stupid friends!

    I am definitely looking for a guy who I can confidently say, “He’s got game.” Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to match this in intelligence; a book smart guy recently tried to twist feminism into a reason not to support a country accepting refugees from Syria, where as a street smart guy brought me wine but declared that he isn’t really into reading. Who would I choose if I could? Street smart guy because he knows how to communicate with a woman, not insult her! Book smart people can be horribly offensive without even knowing it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · December 3, 2015

      Firstly, being book smart or street smart or God smart or whatever doesn’t help if he is EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE 😛 In some cases, its not even a debate worth having.

      These book smart ones, hey? They often think because they speak well and use big words they can intimidate a person. Silly silly man. But clearly if you guys both have strong political/religious views … its not going to really work.

      As for street smart guy, he comes with wine ? Wine always wins. If in doubt go for the wine. At the end of the day you’ll have good memories of the wine if nothing else. With book smarts, what will you have to show…maybe you can steal a telescope from his workplace or a book 😛

      Liked by 2 people

  3. liveclarelesley · December 3, 2015

    I think people’s list for what a partner needs to be can taint their view of what’s in front of them. I’m not saying you should have a list of what you’re looking for. Just that you shouldn’t be married to that list. If the guy is super super smart and treats you like the queen you are who cares if he’s got game. When I was being a player game was fun and welcomed. I didn’t want a commitment from
    Anyone. But, when it came to w relationship, now my marriage, it wasn’t game that got us together. It was honesty, integrity and self love. Keep on keeping on. Don’t worry about the things that won’t matter in the future. Xx~LL

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Dan Alatorre AUTHOR · December 3, 2015

    Good looks are there for a reason, said the Mensan. Men and women adore Heidi Klum or whoever because she has status, but before that she had attraction – and on a genetic level, that meant good health and good potential for breeding or something. Maybe she could just outrun the saber toothed tiger with those hips, I don’t know.

    A Mensan can enjoy a dumb blonde – for a while. And vice versa. She’ll get tired of his lack of interest in things she enjoys, too.

    Getting drunk and trying to hook up might be fun but it’s the difference between bubble gum and Thanksgiving dinner, or more likely a shot of Stoli compared to a bottle of Moet.

    So what’s a Mensa player to do? Glad you asked. Go the opposite way. Put together a bunch of smart ladies and date the prettiest one he can. That’s college. Or grad school. Worked for me.

    Make a list of what you want ad shop there: good physique? Join a gym. Brains? Try bookstores or night school. Family type with good moral values? Maybe church or volunteering. You get the idea.

    But sometimes it’s fun to enjoy some bubble gum until you’re ready to eat dinner.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · December 4, 2015

      Haha ! Love the bubblegum analogy… it’s perfect !

      The whole college/grad school thing worked for you because your male (sure you have other favourable attributes too) but like that book said women outnumber men on most college campus’ … and there are only a few courses such as engineering and rocket science where the odds are in favour of the brainy chicks. As a result some of us have to take one for the team and date down or worse remain single 😦

      But I get what you are saying…it’s not all about brains or looks or whatever but more of a complete package.

      Like

  5. Nortina S. · December 3, 2015

    Honestly, I prefer to date down, as far as education level goes. Not to say that I want a stupid, brain dead boyfriend, but how many degrees a man has isn’t as important to me as whether or not he can provide for himself, if he can hold a good conversation, if he’s aware of the world’s current events, if he’s respectful, if he makes me laugh etc. Of course, a basic knowledge or the 3 R’s (reading [w]riting, [a]rithmetic), geography, and U.S. history is still a requirement. My man needs to know that it is scientifically impossible for his father, no matter how old he is (70), to have been alive during slavery. (Had a guy tell me that once. I thought he was just exaggerating, but he was so serious…)

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · December 4, 2015

      That slavery story is hilarious !!

      I think I’d draw the line at the not being able to read but in the grand scheme of things I think its more important to be well read than have whole bunch of degrees is something that is not necessarily relevant in everyday conversation

      Liked by 1 person

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  11. EttaD · July 21, 2016

    I like bad boys!! But also like someone whose compatible with me as I’m both street smart and book smart. But there’s something about a guy who is a little rough around the edge that catches my eye. While on the other hand, unlike being book smart, street smart is something that has to be experienced. I’ve dated both up and down scale. The intellect is just that, intellectual, no sense of adventure and often too practical. In addition to thinking every situation through, I like risk takers, adventurers, and welcome spontaneity as well. The up side often doesn’t offer that.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · July 21, 2016

      Thanks for reading and commenting.

      Yeah there are a certain few though…that manage to combine the two smarts quite well. But from experience they tend to rather clever old men that are still flirting about playing the field…it’s those rare cases where intellect trumped money in being their attractive feature. 😛

      Liked by 1 person

      • EttaD · July 21, 2016

        Yup!! I’ve never even tossed money in the mix. LOL! LOL! Intellect doesn’t always equates to money though, I’ve found a few bad boys with money. Money is secondary, what’s the point in not having to worry about your bills, but bored to death in your relationship?

        Like

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  13. Sarah Hope · November 24

    There HAS to be some level of physical attraction, but hands down someone who can be intellectually and emotionally stimulating that compliments the other person’s energy in that regards is the most important aspects for me at least. While I can enjoy learning new things, my brain is not geared towards the scientific realm so find that the basic communication levels can be hindered by the nature of how the brain operates. In the end, it is all about successful communication in a variety of different languages that include emotional, intellectual and physical attraction – it’s really a point system, but some people are more adaptable than others.

    Like

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