The Beauty of a Holiday Romance

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So it’s holiday season here in South Africa and I’ve been told by many people that there is no better time to be single. I’m yet to be convinced but I guess it has something to do with it being the perfect time for a holiday romance. It’s sunny and everyone is happier (less/no work). So why would anyone want to get involved in a serious relationship with all its associated complications (fights, baggage, etc) when you can have something light and fluffy?

Unless, you are an oddball like me and let what should have been just a holiday romance escalate into a half decade long love affair, you’ll know from the start at such association has an expiry date and in all likelihood will be nothing more than short-term (chances are you both live in different parts of the world or maybe one/both of you have a partner elsewhere). The temporary nature of a holiday romance however doesn’t take away from its beauty.

When you get involved with someone while on vacation, chances are you are not exposed to their true character but instead only see a sparkly version of the person. Generally, most people are in a better space when they are on holiday (no stress from work, life, etc … A change of scenery can truly work miracles).

People are generally more free spirited when on holiday. No curfews due to early morning work meetings, the booze is generally flowing and you’ve temporarily traded being stuck at your desk with the arduous task of sunning yourself on the beach. Plus, maybe I am being a hopeless romantic right now, but I truly believe that being in a different/beautiful place has the power to thaw even the coldest heart of a sad spinster. I mean most of us a more likely to charmed by the dude that takes you for sundowners on a private beach on the Wild Coast (NB never forget stranger danger kids) than yet another Tinder date at that bar in Obz where everyone knows your name.

Finally, the lack of consequences involved also make holiday love affairs an attractive option for the commitment-phobe in all of us. These fleeting things are exciting and are generally give us butterflies and good stories. If you are single (or even if you are an Ashley Madison philanderer who is not) if the opportunity for a bit of a holiday fling arises while you are travelling the world, grab it, enjoy it for what it is. But manage your expectations realistically. Yes, sometimes a holiday romance can become a successful long distance relationship which subsequently escalates into immigration for one party and then happily ever after but in most cases logistics will force you to part ways so just kiss him goodbye and watch him disappear into the sunset.

FYI, I am currently on holiday in the Transkei and beyond a couple of Tinder fails, I am NOT in the midst of a passionate holiday love affair (but I still have a few days on the road so there’s still hope).

Ok, Dear Rinsers, share your holiday romance stories. Did they ever blossom into a fairytale or are they nothing more than fond memories now?

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Review: Why Men Love Bitches – Sherry Argov

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Following almost a year of mistakes when it comes to relations with the opposite sex, my dearest friend #zlotybaby decided I was in desperate need of this book.

I am not big into self-help but there comes a time when one keeps repeating the same patterns without getting anywhere new (aka insanity). I personally wouldn’t consider myself a nice girl. After all I am the girl that mastered the art of double parking, made a Tinder boy take care of me when drunk and subsquently (when sober) turned around and told him I really couldn’t date him because he was a downgrade on my ex, and let that dude believe there was a chance we could friends of an intimate nature when really all I wanted to do was cruise around in his Lamborgini Gallardo. Regardless, there have been a handful of guys that have somehow charmed me enough to get me to let my guard down and then BOOM it all ends in a broken heart!

Why?! Because deep down when it comes to the blokes we are into, we are all nice girls. According to this bestselling book this is where the problem lies. When we reveal our hand to early on and show the object of our desire that we like like them and are willing to go to great lengths to win their affections, that’s when they suddenly lose interest.

Apparently, (and there’s research to back it up) men like independent women. Those who have a life beyond finding a man and settling down. Men aren’t interested in finding a shadow that’ll follow them around or someone who’ll copycat all their hobbies but instead has their own interests (even if it’s tupperware parties) that make them tick. So it seems men like the thrill of the chase.

You’ll need to read the book to get all the details on how not to be a doormat, but I promise it’s pretty enlightening. In fact, I’d go as far as saying that any decent Mother should give this book to their daughters if they wish to prevent some of the heartache we all face at some point in our dating lives. If I am totally honest with you, it was painful reading at times (I actually had to take a break from it for a week because some of the facts were too much to handle). No joke – I truly cringed through most of it (cooking a four course meal for a dude after a week when he deserved nothing more than burnt popcorn – BOOM that was me!).

In the end, you’ll have lots of lightbulb moments while reading this book and realise where you’ve gone wrong in the past. However, the test for me will only come when I meet a guy that I actually like like (let’s see if I can exercise some self restraint and uphold a bitchy exterior). And until that day comes I’ll just continue practicing on the unfortunate looking/dull ones.

Ok, Rinsers…Have you consulted this Bible of Dating?  Do you agree with the author? Do you think the men will always choose the bitch (aka independent women) over the nice girl that’ll bend over backwards to please him?

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Harmful things about love the world makes you believe

imageThe fact that many people believe something doesn’t make it right. The Earth wasn’t flat regardless of how many human beings supported the view and that a fat free diet does actually more harm than good even if there was a point when it was extremely popular. We’re quite adaptable to changes in all areas of life apart from the arguably most important one, the dimension of feelings. With psychology still considered by many a pseudoscience for weaklings and inept people, its findings are often ignored for the sake of old wives tales. Let’s have a look at the harmful beliefs about love that people choose to stick to.

Everyone tells you that true love is difficult and requires effort. You hear it in Disney movies, romance novels and even inspirational quotes on Facebook. That’s also a very convenient belief of yours for all the emotionally unavailable boys out there. It’s also utter nonsense. If it’s difficult, there’s probably a reason for it being difficult as in you guys are not a match or one of you is not really into this whole thing. Of course in a relationship itself there’ll be ups and downs but I’m afraid when they’re just downs they’re not going to accumulate your karma and make this relationship good at some point. If it requires mostly effort and causes you predominantly pain while you hang on to the occasional moments of happiness it’s not worth it.

For centuries women have been attributing most vices to this one “truth” of “men just being like that”. Your husband cheated on you with your best friend? Men are just like that. Your husband hits you? Men are just like that. Your husband doesn’t do anything around the house? You get the idea… Don’t let anyone tell you similar things. That other people agree to be treated in a certain way doesn’t mean that you have to. The fact that a man cheats or misbehaves in any other way is his fault that he should take personal responsibility for.

Last but not least, many tend to think that love remains unchanged forever. It appears and it stays the way it started or it’s not the real thing is an idea expressed quite often. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work like this. Even if you’re lucky enough to find the person you’ll manage to have a successful lifelong relation with, the feelings you have for them will change. People who are counting on constant butterflies and related concentration problems because of their partners will keep forever changing them. Love changes as the relationship changes. Chasing the butterflies is a way to achieve constant novelty but it deprives a person of the quality of intimacy and trust that needs time to grow.

To conclude, the world is full of harmful beliefs that are simply not true and make us more miserable than happy. Make sure to rethink what you hear for yourself and don’t agree with everyone just because it’s easier.

Tell me, Dear Rinser, do you believe in the abovementioned ideas? Or maybe there are other things you hear about love that make you cringe?

 

 

 

Love Sick

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People take sick leave from work for various reasons. Depending on a person’s pain tolerance (obviously, us ladies can handle much more) one may take time off for medical reasons ranging from giving birth to an epic hangover, work-related allergies or a severe case of the man flu (aww poor baby). But how about a situation when a person called and said they were suffering from a broken heart? I doubt many bosses would accept this as a legitimate medical condition. Nope not even here in laid-back South Africa, where most people switched their brains off in preparation for Christmas on December 1st.

Sadly, unless you live in Japan (where I am told ‘heartbreak’ leave is an actual thing where people can take a time off after a bad break- up to cry it all out and return to work when one is less of a mess) calling in and telling your boss you are heart sore because some bloke dumped you isn’t going to go down to well. But seriously, why shouldn’t it? I may not be a medical doctor (or any type of doctor for that matter) but there are lots of sources out there that will back up my belief that Love Sickness is a real condition that truly does exist (and not something we just conjured up inside our fragile little minds).

According to Wiki : ‘Love Sickness refers to an informal affliction that describes negative feelings associated with rejection, unrequited love or the absence of a loved one ’

With my limited medical expertise (and with a little help from Google) I can say that the symptoms of this so-called Love Sickness varies from one person to the next and can include but is not necessarily limited to the following physical conditions: depression, nausea (been there and despite all the accusations it really wasn’t morning sickness), tearfulness (yup), insomnia, dizziness (perhaps from drowning one’s sorrows a little too much), loss of appetite (yay!!!) or overeating (nay!!!) and a general feeling of hopelessness. Yes, it does sound a little pathetic to get sick over not getting who or what you wanted and letting some obscure little person have so much control over our well being but I think there are many people out there that can relate.

And do you know what the worst thing about Love Sickness? There is no saying how long it will last and there is no magic pill that will make the pain and suffering go away. Even labour pains can’t last forever but who knows when one will recover from a broken heart (or severely bruised ego). In most cases, as they say time heals everything (or actually another love interest comes along to take our mind off things) and the Love Sickness eventually subsides but the drama queen in me does kinda believe it is possible to DIE from a broken heart (sounds quite poetic doesn’t it?).

I doubt that the world will ever recognise Love Sickness as a legitimate medical condition (and imagine the battle the HR people would have getting rid of that Ivy Woman who would forever be calling in with a broken heart just to have a new man on her arm the very next day). But for anyone out there who is physically suffering because of the stress brought on by a break-up, unrequited love or some other form of Ashley Madison style shameless behaviour, I’m here to let you know that you are most definitely not alone! We’ve all been through it and like they say what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger (and better equipped to handle the next douche bag that comes along)..

Alrighty Rinsers. Tell us in the comments below – have you ever suffered from Love Sickness? How did you get over it? Is the best way to avoid falling prey to this disease to avoid love/dating/romantic relations of any sort  all together and become a Sad Spinster? Or are you a disbeliever that thinks Love Sickness is just a silly excuse for people to wallow in self-pity?    

James Bond and the Ladies

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I remember watching James Bond as a kid and being enchanted by this handsome, charming and overly confident man. One thing I couldn’t understand was why he never stayed with any of his temporary partners. It took me years to understand that James Bond didn’t have much respect for the ladies. They were beautiful and they served well as a finite entertainment but that was about it.

The portrayal of women in James Bond movies up until Daniel Craig times was quite upsetting. They didn’t have much brains, mostly looks. The ones that were smarter were the villains and therefore not within James’ interests. Watching these weak female characters constantly hoping for someone to rescue them was tedious. “Oh James” was a twisted version of Prince Charming who would come to rescue but leave before the real fairy tale could start.

With Daniel Craig’s Bond the female characters become stronger. M being a woman is the best example of that change. Craig is also getting fewer females to have fun with in his movies. For  some of them he even has some feelings, with others he’s really in love and he admits it.

I don’t know whether it’s due to the times that can’t take the limited vision of feminity or whether simply the old Bond formula brought too few people to the cinemas. The fact remains that women in movies with Craig start to actually be characters and not just pretty faces.

Having said that, we know that James will never settle down. The idea of him as a father of family is bizarre and highly unrealistic. The movies couldn’t focus on that aspect of his existence. Hence, Bond will forever remain the slightly assholish bachelor. The question is whether it makes sense to make yet another movie with a different version of the same plot.

I’d been a fan of the series for years but with Pierce Brosnan’s Bond I grew tired  Then Craig brought about a change and especially with “Skyfall” my faith in Bond movies was restored. Nevertheless, after “Spectre” which was a bitter disappointment for me and many other fans, I’m asking myself if the cinema would be better off without James Bond. Maybe the skills of script writers, directors and actors should be used for creation and not recreation. They say people like what they know but I’d say there’s a limit to it.

Tell me Dear Rinser, are you a fan of James Bond movies? Can the old story of a mighty agent and his ladies survive in the modern world?

Is there such a thing as too much comfort in a relationship?

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When you’ve been dating someone for a reasonably long time, especially after you’ve moved in together, you naturally get extremely comfortable with the other person. Is there such a thing, however, as too much comfort in a relationship? More importantly, is there a moment when comfort can become a killer of romance?

First issue that comes to mind are physiological needs. There comes a moment when you don’t feel weird anymore when your partner comes in when you’re peeing. You also acknowledge the fact that you both need to go occasionally for number two and when you do the bathroom doesn’t smell of flowers afterwards. You may be inclined to make all sorts of jokes about it and that’s all fine. Nevertheless, I can’t help but think that it’s a bad thing for the romance when partners poo with their door open or  enter the bathroom when the other one is engaging in the process.

Similarly when you live with your partner or sleep overs happen regularly you can’t look perfect at all times. Your partner will see you without make up, with your hair in an absolute mess and with your legs unshaved. You can’t always make the perfect wardrobe choices either. All these things are just a part of a real life and I don’t think you can have a true intimacy if you’re trying to chase perfection. I knew a woman who used to wake up every day at 5.30 when she was married to put the make up on before her husband woke up at 7. While perfectionism is not healthy, the same applies to bodily negligence. Superficial as it sounds, your partner partially fell in love with you for your looks. If you change from a well-groomed hottie into a hairy overweight monster it’ll be a strain on a relationship.

Apart from your looks in a long term relationship you’re also unable to hide your character. Of course on a first date we can’t immediately tell a person all our vices and expect them to deal with them but we should reveal them slowly but surely. In a long term relationship it’s simply impossible to conceal certain things and if we did a person may feel tricked. If you pretended to be A and you’re B, you may be in trouble. If you’re somewhat messy and he’s pedantic you can reach a compromise. You should remember to respect your partner’s preferences. Letting go of your behaviors and taking someone for granted is never a good thing for a lasting bond.

To sum up, there’s a fine line between true intimacy that helps strengthen the relationship and too much comfort which makes you see your partner as a different person than the one you met.

Tell me, Dear Rinsers, do you think there’s such a thing as too much comfort? Or maybe it’s an unwritten agreement of a relationship that one gets too comfortable?

Does Unrequited ‘Love’ Really Exist?

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Time and time again, trashy novels and Hollywood movies like to pollute our fragile little minds with the concept of unrequited love – where one party really loves the other but these feelings are never reciprocated. Yes, it is dreadfully painful when that James Dean look-a-like you’ve been crushing on since 1996 won’t respond to your messages but really aren’t we getting a bit ahead of ourselves – can ‘love’ ever truly be unrequited and is this concept nothing more than a little school girl crush which we will all eventually grow out of?

We’ve all been there. Possibly even on both sides of the story. We’ve all crushed on someone we can’t have for various reasons – perhaps he has a wife and kids and wants you as nothing more than his Ashley Madison bit on the side or perhaps she is just emotionally unavailable? Some of us may have also experienced this unnecessary kind of affection – the guy that sends you beautiful bouquets of flowers and comes running to rescue you when your car breaks down but his presence in any form only serves to make your skin crawl and you just want to trash those stupid flowers, save yourself the headache that comes from listening to his whiny little voice and just fork out for a mechanic to come out a fix that rust bucket car!

In some instances, if the object of your desire, isn’t interested in you but still has the decency to nip this thing in the bud. Hopefully, you’ll get the subtle hint (e.g. him telling you your far too much of a nice girl and stroking your hair till you fall asleep) and bow out elegantly without making a complete fool out of yourself (crying in the street and throwing rocks at his head). If that doesn’t work, maybe he’d be brave enough to tell you straight and deal with the subsequent fall out.

However, as we work our way through this treacherous thing that they call life, we learn that things are rarely so clear cut and this world is not such a fairytale place. Firstly, everyone has their own ulterior motives. People can be mean – they see your ‘love’ for them coming from a mile off and they see how to use it for their own ends – maybe they like the idea of driving around in your snazzy Porsche or just want another notch of their bedpost? And some people just like attention and being pursued is a nice boost for their ego.

On the flipside, as #zlotybaby said in her post about ‘the one that got away’, we tell ourselves lies that make us feel better when relationships don’t go as planned. Even though he really is just not that into you and everyone except you can see those glaring RED flags (e.g. your friend gets him engaged in a conversation about how much he still misses his ex, but you are too busy groping the elder to see this as a potential problem). There are also times when we become so misguided by our lust that we convince ourselves that we have the power to change reality… the dude may even tell you straight that he is no Prince Charming but know better, right?

Whatever the case, here are a few things that should be kept in mind:

  • There is no LOVE to speak of in these situations – it’s just a little crush driving us to do crazy things.
  • We need to watch out for the red flags and realise that there are somethings that just can’t be changed, no matter how hard we try – therefore we just need to let go.
  • When we are in ‘love’ we are vulnerable and unscrupulous individuals will take advantage of that.
  • Egos will be bruised regardless and it’s likely to be painful. However mature we say we are the truth is we will always wonder why we weren’t good enough for so and so.
  • And lastly, It’s OK to let this ‘crush’ run its course, but understand that no amount of wishful thinking will ever make them want us. And at the end of the day, even these hard experiences serve a purpose.

Finally Rinsers its over to you. Is this concept of unrequited love real or nothing more than a crush? Can anything good ever come from such a thing? Share your feelings in the comments below.

The Myth of The One Who Got Away

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We like to tell ourselves stories that really don’t serve us. One of these is the myth of the one who got away.

You meet someone and for whatever reason you feel strongly about him. He seems to feel strongly about you too and yet he’s not putting enough effort into you being an item. He sends signals and SAYS a lot of things but doesn’t follow up with these. You think that maybe he doesn’t know how you feel, you make it a bit clearer. He seems to reciprocate and yet continues to make no effort. He has a story of course. Sometimes it’s that he’s just out of a relationship, another time he wants to “build a friendship first”. In other instances he’ll tell you he’s taking a break from relationships or just doesn’t want to commit anymore. These are all excuses. The truth is for whatever reason he had already decided that you guys won’t be a good item but he will never tell you that.

In really bad cases, when the guy led you on for quite a while you’ll decide to “wait” for his problem to disappear and therefore, as experience taught me, waste your time. For his excuse will never disappear and even if it does he’ll come up with a new one. The reason why he won’t tell you the truth is because he wants you to wait around just in case. People are just like that, if you give they’ll take so YOU must protect yourself.

And if you don’t? Well, you won’t end up with the guy, that’s for sure. You may end up, however, thinking that he was THE guy. Do you know the saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder? If you just had a little bit of that guy in your life and for you it was positive, you just wrote the rest of the story in your head. You idealize a person you don’t really know because we get to know people by being around them and seeing how they behave. Only that it’s difficult to be reasonable if in your head this person was perfect for you and you would have ended up together if not the circumstances.

Only that it’s not true. You and him are both a certain sort of person when you meet. If you don’t work out, you can’t just wait for the better circumstances. Why? Because with the circumstances you and him will change too. If you don’t work out it means that you’re not supposed to and that regardless of how things seem in fact you’re not a good match.

Of course they are exceptions of friends who fall in love after years of knowing each other but this is different. They didn’t “try it out” earlier. It reminds me of this guys I saw once, then didn’t see for many months and then we started to date properly. Only that a month in we both knew that our initial subconscious feeling of not being a match was right and we should have left it at that and spared ourselves the pointless and emotionally straining effort.

To sum up, don’t waste your life on people who don’t put enough effort to be close to you. Before you start to believe that he was the one who got away look objectively at his characteristics and at what you want from your partner. It will turn out that he wasn’t so perfect after all and you’ll spare yourself a harmful story you tell yourself.

Now to you, Dear Rinsers – what’s your opinion on the One Who Got Away? Can the One get away? Or if he got away could he have been the One?

 

Cock Blocking – When Friends Take Action!

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It’s natural for our friends to feel the need to voice an opinion on our latest crush/FWB/potential Prince Charming after all they often know us better than we know ourselves. But how about when they take it that one step further and those opinions of theirs turn into actions that stop you from getting lucky? Today rinsers, I am going to be talking about the phenomenon known in the dating world as Cock Blocking.

The urban dictionary defines Cock Blocking as:

‘To hinder, by whatever means, the chances of a male from getting a sexual encounter with a female.’

I personally don’t think that Cock Blocking is necessarily a bad thing although it does sometimes just to serve to dampen our otherwise happy mood.

True friends genuinely do have our best interests at heart and if they are willing to go to such great lengths to stop us getting some bedroom action they probably have some foresight and just know that this encounter is inevitably going to end in tears. Take for instance, that friend who goes into Mother Hen mode and scolds you for not saying a proper goodbye to your friends at the end of the night because you are in a rush to wander into the night with some elderly troll that has been busy all night trying to win you over with his slightly strange arm kisses. Yup, it feels like a bit of a bummer at the time but a few days down the line you’ll see that nothing good would have come out of such an encounter anyway.

Do unto others as you would have them do unto to you. Isn’t that what they always say? We expect a lot from those we hire as wing women/men. However, it’s important to manage these expectations carefully. Sure, a good sidekick can chit-chat with a his ugly counterpart while you get your flirt on with the hottie of the evening and usually they’ll even be willing to make a subtle exit if they think something good is coming your way. But be reasonable – don’t yell at your wing person in the street just because they won’t let you borrow some cash money to pay for a flight to Australia to hook-up with some dude you just met. Remember however sexy he may be and however despo you are for some bedroom action, it’s never worth losing a longer-term friendship over.

Even though it can be annoying at times, especially if you are going through a severe sex drought, try to put yourself in the shoes of your Cock Blocker friend and don’t hate on them too much. They are not putting themselves in harm’s way for nothing (unless of course they are a frenemy who is simply after your latest ‘love’). Think of it like this – it’s probably not that they want to stop you from having that itch scratched, it’s more that they want to protect you from the emotional aftermath. And even if you are one of those WISO/MISOs who don’t think that sexual relations necessarily have any sentimental value, maybe the Cock Blocker’s actions are simply saving you from an STD or the possibility of being burdened with a unwanted bundle of joy nine months down the line.

Darling Rinsers please share your best/worst Cock Blocking stories in the comments below. Has a Cock Blocker ever saved you from a fate worse than death or should we simply be left to make all our own mistakes in the bedroom department?

 

A Beautiful Mind : Dating Street Smart vs. Book Smart

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I’m often ridiculed by my friends for crushing on ‘ugly’ guys/elderly trolls. But what do these superficial fools know? Looks aren’t everything! Maybe I’m not always attracted to the conventionally good looking blokes but don’t you think sometimes a person’s crooked nose, bad hair and rotten teeth can be overlooked if they possess a beautiful mind?  Let’s face it, intelligence is attractive. I’d rather lose 5 hours of my life being challenged intellectually than drooling over a hottie who does nothing but agree with everything I say. However, as was reiterated in Date-Onomics, in our highly advanced society, the odds of finding a man who is your intellectual equal aren’t very favourable for us clever girls.

The way I see it, we can either cry about it, resort to ‘dating down’ or rethink our definition of what intelligence is. It’s important to realise that just because someone is book smart – a straight-A student with 5 PhDs – doesn’t necessarily mean they street smart – as in having life experience, the emotional intelligence to understand people and generally being able to do more alpha-male type practical things such as heavy lifting and changing light bulbs. Society may define intelligence by how many university degrees a person has or what job they do but is this really enough when it comes to dating?

No Game

In the dating world being able to be read people and act accordingly is of paramount importance. A successful first date requires flowing conversation not a monologue where a he tells you how to programme a computer. He may have been a child-genius once, but the fact that he has no game when it comes to women and stammers and stumbles at the mention of Tinder and practically runs off the moment you get your flirt on, might leave a girl wondering if despite being regarded as an ‘expert in his field’, his expertise has any hope of extending into the bedroom or if in fact he is a just 30-something virgin who spent his youth with his head in the books and failed to notice the existence of the opposite sex entirely?

God Smarts

You want to meet some really stupid ‘clever’ men?  Look no further than Team God – where no amount of scientific knowledge can trump the word of the big G. It’s possibly just my Atheist/Agnostic/Hater of God ways but you can’t blame a girl for being confused when despite his academic accolades her date tells her she should enjoy her life in hell because she supports the use of contraception. Ugh, let’s just thank the man upstairs that matters didn’t escalate into the bedroom otherwise who knows she could be blessed with his spawn by now.

Mama’s ‘clever’ little boy?

We’re all well aware by now that the world is now full of mama’s boys but is being ‘book smart’ just an excuse for these guys continuing to sitting on their sorry asses and indulge in more girly past times instead of helping with practical matters like old-school men used to?  For instance, how long can a girl brag about the boyfriend she has lovingly nicknamed Little Einstein when he can’t do basic everyday taskS such as driving a car or doing the dishes? Nobody wants to marry ‘an intellectual’, that can’t be relied upon to help out with some DIY.

And finally, no amount of education can make him a good person if he is rotten to the core. Not all of of those Ashley Madison type cheaters were total dumb assess (although, it could be argued otherwise) without even Matric to their name, they were your doctors, lawyers and accountants, etc. So while being some sort of smart is certainly important, maybe the nature of a beautiful mind differs depending on who we are engaging with and maybe it’s not necessarily about looking for a man that has the right university degree or job but instead finding the person who is gets our way of thinking.

Alrighty, Dear Rinsers – How important is it for you to date you intellectual equal? Do you think it’s possible for a member of MENSA to have a successful relationship with a ‘dumb blonde’? Is it more important to be street smart than book smart? Have you ever ‘dated up’ or ‘down’ in terms of intelligence? In your search for love how important is it for a potential suitor to have a beautiful mind? Tell us in the comments below.