You’d think that people these days know how to make babies and avoid making them when they don’t want them. In some parts of the world, there’s no sex education and no access to contraception, often due to religious reasons. In most parts of the Western world, however, especially the middle class, is lucky enough to be able to easily access contraception. And yet, I have so many friends and acquaintances who get themselves knocked up. How is this possible?
First of all, you never get a full story. As a loyal contraceptive user I get a fright every time I hear about an unexpected pregnancy. Because how unexpected can it be? Are they a victim of a feared by many statistical error? Did the chick forget her pill? Did the condom break and they didn’t use the morning after pill? Or maybe they didn’t use contraception at all? No one will ever tell you. They just say it was an accident and it finishes at that.
Second of all, I can’t help but be slightly upset with these people. With the costs of education, living and upbringing, children are a very expensive commitment. Of course once the child is already there one should do their best with giving it all they can. However, isn’t contraception not there to avoid having children before we can properly provide for them?
I can relate much more to honesty. I could understand if people said that they weren’t planning it but also they weren’t planning against it. I can understand people saying that they just became baby crazy and all they wanted was to have a baby. We’re all humans and sometimes our deep needs are stronger than our sense of reason. I also can believe that parents of a baby that was so deeply wanted will make their best to provide for all its needs.
What I can’t understand is the lack of thought behind the baby having. Not knowing whether we want it or whether we don’t, just going with the flow that could have been so easily prevented. Things always fall in place one way or the other but I don’t think that a baby should be ever an experiment to see whether a relationship is strong or not. It should not be a test in whether we’re actually fit for parenthood or want it either.
Having said that I’m aware that not everything in life can be planned and that sometimes just jumping in and seeing what happens is a good idea. I just think that it’s better to use the modern inventions reasonably and to only start thinking about reproduction in a stable relationship and when one is quite sorted financially and not with your boyfriend of a month when waitressing through life and still studying.
Now it’s time for your opinion Dear Rinsers! Do you know many accidents of that sort? What’s your opinion on unplanned parenthood in the cases of people who have the means to plan it?