Remember the old times when we used to stay at our parents house and the only way to get some time alone with our partner was when our parents were away? Meaning NEVER. And then the amazing adulthood came with it’s liberties… Only that not really.
The reality of young adulthood is a flat/room share. When you’re still a student, you’re either living in a rez, sharing a room or sharing a flat. Things don’t change that much when you start your career. There are some perks of the share – the main reason we do it is the lower rent. However, the biggest disadvantage is that when we have an actual partner the lack of privacy can get slightly annoying.
Imagine this scenario: romantic dinner at her place, the flatmates are out. You’re in the lounge, she’s cooked for you and over an after-dinner glass of wine you start a making out session. Don’t allow your hot-headed nature to take over, though, this couch may seem like a perfect place for some carnal pleasure but the flatmates may come back at any time. What’s more, you know Murphy’s law and you know they will come back if you stay right there where you are. Of course, if you move to the bedroom they’ll only come back in the morning.
Even the bedroom isn’t a safe space in a flat share. You still have to make sure that you keep your noise levels down when flatmates are around. I know many develop a habit of putting the music on but I assure you that the reason why isn’t a secret and a flatmate knows very well what’s happening between the closed door every time you listen to this techno mix.
The worst is, of course, being caught with no clothes on. It’s not that much better, however, when you’re in the act and quite noisy and you don’t hear that the flatmates getting back till after the deed is done. You know they heard you and your partner moan and the beds(!), they’re so bloody noisy! You can hide after that for a while, you can maybe even manage not to pee and you always thought that eating was overrated anyway, but eventually you will have to go out. Then you see your flatmates and you know that they know and they know that you know that they know. AWKWARD. In a male flatmates version of events if you’re a guy and so is your flatmate you may not be able to escape a conversation and a high-five (Look at their elbow. ALWAYS look at their elbow).
The not-so-secret sexy times are embarrassing for the couple but think about the poor flatmates! Someone in a relationship will probably be understanding and entertained (if it’s not an everyday situation). What if your flatmate is single, though? Ouch! Listening to others having sex when you’re not getting any isn’t nice at all.
Solutions? If one of you were lucky enough to get a good deal and has a bachelor you can opt to use that flat more often. When two apartments don’t make that much sense anymore you can also consider a relationship upgrade called “moving in together” but ideally that move should have your deeper needs as motivation and not only the possibility to have sexy times privately. This, however is a topic for another post. If you’re both stuck in the flat share for the foreseeable future consider getting a variety of CDs and remember that one day you’ll think about this time nostalgically.
Now to you, Dear Rinsers, would you like some to share some of your embarrassing stories? Maybe you want to tell us what your favorite sex CD is/was?