Maybe it’s because of all the rugby players we are currently being forced to perve on but recently I’ve been thinking about traditional concepts of masculinity and how they’ve changed quite dramatically, even in my own lifetime. It seems to me that all the old-school alpha male types are all either married or dead!
I blame Disney for polluting my mind when I was a little girl because those films made me believe that one day this dashing young man (NOT a Prince – even as a child I wasn’t stupid enough to think I could possibly marry royalty, although Prince Harry is still available, ladies) would come along, fight some demons, sweep me off feet and then we’d gallop off into the sunset (in reality I am so clumsy I’d probably fall off the horse).
But then as I grew up I was taught about the suffragettes and women’s rights and how we need to be independent and stand on our feet instead of waiting for some BIG MAN to arrive. This is all well and good and I’m all for equal rights but I am beginning to wonder whether this move towards women becoming more materially successful and independent is necessarily good thing. It seems to me that in the female mission to take over the world, we seem to have broken the male spirit in an epic way.
From my limited experience of the dating game it seems like the type of man that Disney promised doesn’t exist anymore and chivalry is a thing of the past. Look it’s not like we need men to open doors for us (as a marathon runner the physical task of opening a door isn’t going to kill me) but I am not going to complain when they do. And you really begin to question what the world has come to when a small man with a fast horse poses the question: ‘Would you like to kiss?’. No, I’m not advocating face rape here but as one dear friend always says, if he has to ask the question he should already know the answer.
This is not even the worst of it, and maybe it’s more apparent here in South Africa, but it seems to me that everywhere I go I encounter more and more mama’s boys. Nowadays guys not only need a woman that will cook and clean for them (like their mama does) but they are also more than happy for her to be the breadwinner while they sit around on their lazy broke-ass playing computer games. It’s one thing to become complacent when you are comfortably in a stable relationship but men these days are making no effort to hide their fragility even at the dating stage. For example, I recently had a Tinder guy think that suggesting I bring coffee to his workplace legitimately counted as a first date (no joke!).
I probably shouldn’t be so harsh, life is hard for my Tinder boys. And honestly, I am not looking for one of those BIG men who believes that drinking a 100 pints of beer in a night is a great achievement but it would rather not have to ‘lend’ him R5 for the minibus taxi fare to see his next chick. Dudes, its OK to talk about your feelings, cry and even do ballet or get a manicure but please try to draw some inspiration from the Disney Princes instead of listening to everything you mama tells you (cos her advice is really not doing you any favours).
So, what are your thoughts rinsers? In a world where the Boks get the asses kicked by a rugby team called the Cherry Blossoms (sorry, I couldn’t help myself!), is there any hope for that little girl looking for the alpha male that Disney promised her?