The Texting Game


Call me old fashioned but there are days when I wish I live a few centuries ago when people didn’t have access to modern technology and the only way to communicate with a potential love interest was through snail mail (do people even hand write letters anymore?).

Nowadays, it’s all SMS, WhatsApp, Gchat, Email, Facebook Messenger, etc. What am I moaning about? These advances in modern technology are great. It gives us access to a wider pool of potential other halves. It allows us go get the ball rolling almost instantaneously. For example, if I wake up a realise I have no plans for the evening, I can simply log onto tinder or OKCupid, browse a little, reply to a few messages and voila I have a date set up by lunchtime.

But I think we also need to consider that all these technological innovations and continuous upgrades have their downsides. I admit I am social media addict and Facebook whore who is continuously glued to my phone checking in here, there and everywhere (if I went missing the police really wouldn’t have much difficulty finding me), but there comes a point when you need to question whether the constant connectedness is an actually a good thing, especially when it comes to dating?

Once a person is linked to you via social networks, they not only get an insight into the inner workings of your mind (I really hope nobody judges me for un-PC status updates, etc.) but depending on your usage of such resources, they can pretty much gauge where you are and what you could potentially be up to at any given time (could be useful for the innocent partners of those Ashley Madison types). Because of this access to technology, people can almost demand an instant response from us, and in most cases we have no excuse not to reply (except if like me you’re constantly Tindering you’ll genuinely find that your smartphone will completely die at least three times a day).

In his book, Modern Romance, Aziz Ansari, explores this whole phenomenon of texting power games and how long one should wait before responding to a message from a potential lover interest. Apparently, the longer one holds out (gosh, it sounds like the whole panty-dropping debate resurfacing), the more of an upper-hand they have in any relationship. But doesn’t there just come a point when people start to realise the stupidity of these games?  When you consider the time some of us spend waiting for those God awful blue ticks to appear on WhatsApp, surely we could find something more productive to do with their time? Maybe complete a PhD or two?

Anyways, the point I am trying to make is not that we should all throw our Smartphones out the window or smash our laptops (mine is still stolen – so if anyone wants to donate one to me for blogging purposes it would be appreciated). Nor do I expect anyone to take a stroll down to the post box and send their love an old school letter handwritten on pink scented paper (knowing the SA postal service by the time the mail reaches your beau, they’ll most likely me shacked up with some other hussy with a bun in the oven or worse in a retirement home).

What I am saying is that it’s good to stop watching from the blue ticks, switch off the phone occasionally and stop Facebook stalking people (we all do, don’t kid yourself that you are any different). If and when it’s meant to be, it will be. No amount of anxiously staring at the screen of you iPhone is going to make Prince Charming magically appear.


  1. You make a good point we spend way too much time with our phones, laptops and other social media things to the point w cease to function without them. Which is why the texting games seems to intrigue some because it gives them a further excuse.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I wasn’t actually saying that. Texting is a good means of communication. Its the games I have a problem with. Like people saying you need to wait a certain time before texting back so as to not seem to eager. I just hate that there is so much thought being put into communication. In the olden days people just sent the letter and hoped it got there…seems more real in some ways.

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I hate it how much we miss our phones when they grow legs and decided to leave us! Mine decided to leave me last week, but it was probably a good thing as I was bored and tempted to send racy pics for the first time.

    Tinder is also a fun messaging platform. Sure, traditionally it is all about hook-ups, but then should that mean that it would make it easier to set up dates? I just found it another annoying communication platform – lots of chatting, no meeting in person! (maybe it was me and not using it for hooking up)

    Power games… I would be rich if I got money from every guy who said that they are not into games and then take a few days to respond to a message.


  3. Sorry about your phone Pat ! These days losing a phone is like losing a limb, it really does suck.

    But maybe if it reduced the risk of sexting then maybe we can look at it as a blessing in disguise.

    Ugh, the ‘talkers’….I’m soooo over them. They want to know your whole life history before they even consider asking you out. But I’ve heard from the boys, that most girls like to chat for months before they trust a guy enough to meet up. But maybe its a SA girl thing, because most of us internationals seem less concerned with safety and would rather avoid hours of whatsapp back and forth.

    Power games are too much. The amount I’ve been out with friends and received messages from a guy and been told not to respond for at least another hour cos otherwise I’ll seem to eager !! Sigh. I wish we all had better things to occupy our fragile minds but such is life…


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