The Sinking (Relation) Ship – Letting Go Gracefully

sinkingships

Not so long ago, I gave you my ideas on how to orchestrate a break-up with at least a modicum of decency and just more recently my esteemed colleague #zlotybaby discussed our fear of rejection in relationships. Today, I hope to build on these topics and somehow link them, by looking at things from the perspective of the person being dumped.

As we’ve already established it’s not easy to be the person who has made the decision to end a relationship and it’s also no easier to be on the receiving end of the rejection at any stage of romantic encounter. It’s natural to feel like your world has come to an end after all your ego has been epically bruised. There are ways to deal with rejection whilst keeping your head held high and maintaining a degree of self-respect. However, in my limited experience (and drawing on those of people around me), I’ve find that most people deal with rejection badly – and go to embarrassingly great lengths in order to try to save the sinking (relation) ship.

Let me provide you with just a few examples of the type of cringe-worthy stunts people pull when they are rejected and/or their ‘relationship’ looks to be failing. Let’s begin with the guy, you’ve been stringing along for much longer than you initially planned, your conscience finally gets the better of you and you decide the time has come for you to tell him face to face that while you enjoy wine-tasting with him, no amount of booze can compensate for the lack of chemistry. At first, it seems he takes it well, I mean there are no objects being thrown at your face and no tears streaming down his – success! That’s until he asks if you are looking to just be friends or friends of an intimate nature. Doesn’t the dude realise that the attraction that is lacking between the two of you would be essential for a functioning FWB arrangement?

To make matters worse a few days later the fool sends you a picture of his new ‘girlfriend’ to show you how replaceable you are and how quickly he has moved on. But at the end of the day, you just pity your successor and breathe a sigh of relief, knowing that if you’d carried on with this charade any longer, this overly-attached dude would have probably been down on one knee.

Next, take that irritating vegetarian who had you hating on dating not so long ago. Well, you thought he’d be an easy one to get rid of especially because he had moved to the other side of the country after the ‘break up’. But, you are not getting away from him that easily, despite the distance and the fact that the encounter only lasted a matter days, weeks after you’ve parted ways he still leaves voice messages insulting your friends, accusing you of having eyes for every one of your male friends and recordings of the Roxette song ‘It must have been LOVE but it’s over now’. Poor poor fool.

And finally, if you thought the boys were bad, don’t even get me started on the crazy ladies. Sending your ex photos of his clothes burning, having a fist fight over making him return the Rolex watch your bought him for Christmas two years ago or ‘surprising’ him one day by plotting a visit to the sister he is estranged from to rescue the precious family hamster she took custody of. Doesn’t it all just make you cringe? Ugh. Yuck.

So my advice to y’all. I understand having your heart broken is never easy, regardless of whether it was a fleeting week-long affair or a soapie that spanned a decade. You’ve been hurt and it’s OK to cry, scream and lock yourself in your room for a week. But do think about the impact of your actions, the relationship is over and the likelihood of you being able to save it is slim. Let go gracefully. Remember you are not doing yourself any favours by acting like an unhinged patient escaped from Valkenburg. Don’t give the haters any ammunition. Just walk away. Better days are on the way, I promise.

Now over to you readers, tell us about your most horrific sinking (relation) ship stories in the comments below.

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32 comments

  1. bklynboy59 · September 3, 2015

    I was in a relationship for two years we were on vacation when she told me it was over. Half way through the vacation and we had to ride back together in the car stay in the same hotel room for the rest of the vacation until we got home.. It hurt a lot in fact I gave up a lot to be with her …I moved to her side of the state (an hour away) and we lived down the street from each other so it was really hurt to pass her house knowing it was over and wondering what was going on inside. I was depressed for about 3 weeks easy…I talked to a friend who had been through the same thing. I talked to my aunt and cousin who helped me keep it together and then I realized two things …one…for the first time in decades I was no longer in a relationship of any kind dating marriage affair …so now I could start over with a clean slate. two the door was open for my one and only to enter my life. Little did I know the woman I would meet and marry was just the next exit away from me.

    Liked by 2 people

    • EnglishRosiee · September 3, 2015

      That’s exactly the reason people need to avoid acting like unhinged buffoons when something is over. Its over for a reason, the longer you cling onto that sinking (relation)ship the more you’ll serve to block out the good things that may come your way.

      Like

      • bklynboy59 · September 3, 2015

        Believe me when I say it wasn’t easy to get over that reltionship

        Like

      • EnglishRosiee · September 3, 2015

        I’m sure it wasn’t. But at least you did get over it – without totally embarrassing yourself like those in my stories…throwing things, fighting, offering the person that rejected you sex on a plate, etc.

        Liked by 2 people

      • bklynboy59 · September 3, 2015

        Like I said the fact we lived on the same street made it harder to get over I would have pass her house to leave the block. But I had to learn how to work through it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • EnglishRosiee · September 5, 2015

        Yep. We all have to and it’s not easy. Sometimes it can make us physically sick even.

        Liked by 1 person

      • bklynboy59 · September 8, 2015

        How are you doing?

        Liked by 1 person

      • EnglishRosiee · September 8, 2015

        Doing well. Although I’ve received a bit of a backlash on this post, by someone who resonated with one of the characters I mentioned in my stories. Apparently, I’m not ugly (what does that say about his taste in women?), presumptuous and nobody will ever marry me! I love the hate 🙂

        Like

      • bklynboy59 · September 8, 2015

        Really??? who said someone wouldn’t marry you? And why would you like that bother you ?

        Like

      • EnglishRosiee · September 8, 2015

        It doesn’t bother me. Its just funny coming from someone who has never had a real long term relationship. The comment came from one of the sinking ships. Poor poor boy 😦

        Like

      • bklynboy59 · September 8, 2015

        Oh ok got it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • bklynboy59 · September 8, 2015

        It will be interesting to see how things work out for him

        Liked by 1 person

      • EnglishRosiee · September 8, 2015

        Ah, that I will never know because after he called me ugly and presumptuous he went on to block me on all modes of social media. But that being said, we need to remember that CT is a small place and word gets around 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • bklynboy59 · September 8, 2015

        so true

        Liked by 1 person

      • bklynboy59 · September 8, 2015

        So what’s next for you?

        Liked by 1 person

      • EnglishRosiee · September 8, 2015

        Lets just watch this space 🙂 I’ll try to avoid sinking anymore ships though 😉

        Like

      • bklynboy59 · September 8, 2015

        Smart.

        Liked by 1 person

      • EnglishRosiee · September 8, 2015

        I do try 😉

        Like

  2. j2mazou · September 3, 2015

    Woooaaahh, no amount of heartbreak makes clothes burning ok!! That’s mentally unhinged!

    Like

    • EnglishRosiee · September 3, 2015

      Agreed.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Laura (I Can Do It) · September 4, 2015

      I’ve never done it, or wanted to, but I think burning objects of an ex are a kindof release ceramony, so maybe crazy, but often what is needed to move on for the extreme personality… Not making excuses, just saying I’ve seen it & it often helps the other person get closure.

      Liked by 1 person

      • EnglishRosiee · September 5, 2015

        I’ve heard this burning ceremony can be quite therapeutic for broken hearts especially when it comes to photos of the two of you or maybe love letters they sent you. But burning their belongings is another ball game and sending pictures of it….is a desperate cry for help.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Laura (I Can Do It) · September 5, 2015

        Oh yes, I agree, sending pictures to cause pain, shows your crazy.

        Liked by 1 person

      • EnglishRosiee · September 6, 2015

        Like

  3. Demetrius - Tao of Indifference · September 3, 2015

    All break ups suck, but it’s always best to think to yourself “Do I really want to do this?” before you fly off the rails. Give yourself some time and space away from the person, whether you did the breaking up or they did. Even if the breakup isn’t amicable, remember that at some point you cared about this person and that they’re a human being with feelings.
    If they were shitty to you, don’t give them the satisfaction of even communicating with them, just cut them off. Any vindictive actions you take are only going to make YOU look worse.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. EnglishRosiee · September 4, 2015

    Well said 🙂 Its natural to have thoughts of revenge when one is hurt, but acting on these thoughts just makes you look like the bad party. Let them use dirty tactics if they so wish, but walk away and take the moral high-ground.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Dan Alatorre AUTHOR · September 6, 2015

    Breaks ups can be bad, but so can rebounds.

    Sometimes’ you’re laying there in bed in the morning next to your ex, wondering:

    what did I do…
    why is my ex in my bed…

    and why are they dead?

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · September 8, 2015

      Oh dear, scary thought. I should steer clear of upsetting any exes 😉 But its just too much fun.

      Like

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