When one is involved in a long-term relationship there can be a tendency to get complacent and take for granted the fact that you have a regular source of bedroom action. Yeah sure, for some, like all those Ashley Madison members who are busy being name and shamed, there may come a time when your sex life becomes boring and you have to look beyond the confines of your nice, respectable relationship for something a little bit more risqué. But the truth is, at least you are getting some action.
As I have said before, the period following the breakdown of a relationship, can be a bit of a roller coaster when it comes to a person’s mental state. One moment your crying about losing your future husband and the next you feel as free as a bird, knowing that you are now open (please remove your mind from the gutter) to a whole world of new opportunities (and men).
However, the truth is, (unless of course you are a WISO – a species I still very much doubt the existence of), there comes a point when you start questioning whether you’ll be seeing some any action ever again. I know I am jumping the gun a little, as I’ve only actually been single a few months so it may be a bit early to be talking of dry spells (and I’m actually doing pretty well working my way through the deadwood of the Cape Town dating pool and have even had a fair few FWB requests which I have had to sadly decline – sorry boys!).
But discussions with my friends/acquaintances who’ve been single way longer have got me panicking. I mean the sexual prowess of their previous partners must have been pretty bad for the sad spinster who is fast approaching their 3 year Sex Drought anniversary. And if you thought the Sex Drought phenomenon was unique to us ladies, you’d be mistaken, I was surprised to find that there are even guys who’ve gone a couple of years (thus far) without any action in the bedroom department.
The situation really is quite worrying. Chatting to a self-declared WISO friend of mine recently, we debated how long this period of celibacy must be before a person can have been said to have regained their virginity. Although, some may argue that this is impossible, I’m fairly sure that any girl who has been in a long distance relationship will know otherwise 😉 As I get older, wiser and generally less idealistic about love, I am beginning to let go of my some of my prudish ways. But I wonder at what point, one must start considering these FWB offers or even worse, one night stands?
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating going out there and hooking-up with the first bloke that comes along, especially not here in South Africa, a country riddled with HIV/AIDS. It’s really not worth catching an STI simply to get that itch scratched and there are always safer solutions – just head over to Ann Summers (or order online if you live in a sexually backward place like Cape Town) and get yourself a Rampant Rabbit (or whatever the latest technological sex companion maybe).
Rinsers please give us your thoughts on how to deal with the Sex Drought in the comments below. In your opinion, how long can a person reasonably last before they become a born-again virgin? If an extended period of celibacy goes on to long, do we eventually lose our skills in the bedroom department or is it like learning to ride a bicycle? And should there come a time when gives serious consideration to a FWB arrangement or even seeks professional help? Discuss.