The Kept Woman

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In a situation when one of the partners is a bread winner but the other partner takes good care of the household and children we can talk about the division of work, even if people tend to underestimate house wives. What about the situation when one of the partners makes all the money and the other only uses it for pleasure, surrounded by an army of servants?

The Kept Woman (KW), as in most such cases the dependent in a relationship is still a woman, is an interesting phenomenon. I don’t know whether it’s because I was brought up by a single mother who always stressed the importance of independence or because the idea of self-reliance just agrees with my character but I don’t understand the situation in which one partner is permanently dependent on the other. It definitely requires a deep level of entitlement to feel that we deserve to enjoy our life when others work hard for our well-being.

What is more, as much fun as entertainment can be, it’s been proven that we use our time better when we have less of it. I’m sure you can relate – when we have a full day off we end up “doing” less of nice stuff than when we did when our time for it is limited. This leads me back to our topic – is the KW not bored? It’s amazing to eat out, shop and brainlessly watch TV but can you truly imagine doing it every day of your life? I may be wrong but it seems like a life of that sort is missing the sense of completion we have when we achieve our daily successes at work (or studies).

My other problem with KW is that she becomes completely helpless when her source of income disappears. After all, if one’s only value is beauty, the relationship with the person may be shallow and it’s quite easy to replace her with a prettier and possibly younger one. Unless, the man who’s clever enough to make buckets of money finds comparisons between gym classes and creams for wrinkles intellectually stimulating or the KW is an erudite pursuing her third PhD, he’s likely to get bored with her when the beauty passes.

Last but not least, we all have our special skills we should use in life. Some people are great doctors, some great bakers, but having passion in life and using whatever life skills we’re given is, in my opinion, the point of our existence. Of course, a KW surrounds herself with others of her type so it’s easier to kill the guilty feeling or simple unhappiness and emptiness she may be experiencing.

You’re probably wondering why I decided to write about the KW today and if maybe I’m experiencing PMS or am simply jealous of a friend who got married to a rich guy. But no, Dear Reader, honestly every time I hear a story of a grown up woman who’s being constantly paid for and has no ambition to change the situation or to do anything else in life than paint her nails, I cringe. For the suffragists did not suffer for us to now do the only thing which we were believed to be good at for centuries: nothing.

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16 comments

  1. bklynboy59 · August 25, 2015

    Interesting post so yeah what made you write this post? I was offered the chance to be a kept man

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    • zlotybaby · August 25, 2015

      I was inspired by a story I heard, just the usual he pays for everything she wants and she wants a lot story. I felt like I had something to say on the matter and that it could be an interesting read. Really? Did you take it? I think with unlimited funds one potentially could do amazing things. Other than sitting in spas all day that is 😊

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      • bklynboy59 · August 25, 2015

        No I didnt. It was tempting consider she made 3 times the amount I made I could have done it but I still needed to fill my time. Besides I couldn’t be a kept man just wasn’t me

        Liked by 2 people

      • zlotybaby · August 26, 2015

        I guess it’s an amazing option if you have a dream (like being a writer, a musician) and being kept allows you to pursue it. Otherwise, it’s tempting but as you said you’d have to still fill your time. I have a friend who married a guy who didn’t want her to work. At some point she got so bored she decided to have children even though she wasn’t crazy about the idea, just to have something to do.

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      • bklynboy59 · August 26, 2015

        That’s silly ..having kids just to have something to do. I didn’t want to be a kept man mainly because that wasn’t who I was at my core, and it would have giving someone all the leverage in the relationship.

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      • zlotybaby · August 26, 2015

        I agree it’s silly. She really loved the guy and would never divorce so I guess she thought it was her only option not to die of boredom. And yes, I agree, if someone’s paying for everything we can really talk about independence. You have to listen to what they tell you, pretty much like to your parents when you’re younger.

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      • bklynboy59 · August 26, 2015

        Not to mention you become less than …you need your own identity not be a kept person.

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      • zlotybaby · August 26, 2015

        It’s still quite selfish. I mean if you love someone you’re unlikely to want them to work so much to support both of you.

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      • bklynboy59 · August 26, 2015

        I wasn’t brought up that way to be a kept man so even though it would seem nice to be lazy… I would end up going back to work and pull my own weight

        Liked by 1 person

  2. EnglishRosiee · August 25, 2015

    I think I’d like the option of being ‘Kept’ . Just to know that I could quit work and do a few projects, 3 PhDs, travel around the world running marathons while my foolish fool slaved away back at home…or maybe he’d fund my business ideas….Ah, a girl can dream can’t she? Jokes.

    But like you say, a Kept Women must be smart because its only a matter of time before she gets replaced. If she is wise, she’ll get herself knocked up asap – might be the only way to keep those funds rolling in.

    But the KW is not really anything new….the fact that women still do not have the same rights as men in so many places, to some extent justifies the existence of the KW. The Kept Man (KM) on the other hand is something to watch out for especially here in South Africa. More and more men, are happy to ignore the element of emasculation, and have their pretty, clever and ambitious woman provide for them. Some justify their behaviour by saying they are better equipped to be a house husband…but I think its more about being lazy, entitled and happy to sit on your sorry ass all day playing computer games 🙂

    Either way, KW or KM, there is no such thing as a free lunch. So enjoy the fun times while it lasts and when it comes to the bedroom department my only advice to them all is to CLOSE YOUR EYES AND THINK OF ENGLAND (that or the spa treatment)!

    Liked by 1 person

    • zlotybaby · August 25, 2015

      Hahahaha. The part about the bedroom is hilarious.

      Both KM and WM clearly feel entitled and entitlement is something I highly dislike because it goes arm in arm with the feeling of superiority. Laziness which accompanies entitlement is another thing I struggle to respect. All in all, I just wish people were exploring their potentials in the one and only life we’re given.

      Liked by 1 person

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