‘The best way to get over one man is to get under another’ – Jane the Virgin
Oh, how I wish it was that easy. The immediate period following a break-up can be a rather tumultuous time in a person’s life. You’ve just gone from domestic bliss and planning for happily ever after with the person you thought was your one and only, to living a sad, lonely existence with just your cat for company (jokes, it’s not possible to become a sad spinster that fast). From my experience and observations, the way in which a person rebuilds their life after the breakdown of a long-term relationship varies but here are some of the common things that happen in the rebound phase:
A New Look
I can’t say I understand the reasoning behind it but it seems after a relationship has come to an end, us chicks especially feel the need for an image overhaul.
In the ‘best’ cases this means going on an epic diet and getting yourself that supermodel figure you’ve always wanted. Sadly, this weight-loss often doesn’t last and for most of us (especially me) heartbreak is just yet another excuse to indulge in all the cupcakes, macaroons, and Lindt chocolate your heart could desire resulting in you looking more like a sumo wrestler than Beyoncé.
For many, this new look usually involves a new hairstyle. It could be of the intimate nature, as you employ a little wishful thinking and contemplate having a new man between your thighs. But it’s generally of the more conventional nature as you literally wash that man right out your hair and either chop it off SWF style or opt for the hipster ombre look (only to have the ex laugh and call you a ginger).
Whatever, you decide to do to change your image, whether you love it or you look back in 6 months’ time and laugh at your stupidity, it’s a symbolic move that represents the start of an exciting new chapter in your life so just go with it.
Drowning Your Sorrows
Sadly, most of us can also relate to the rebound also being a period of self-destruction which involved drowning your sorrows with copious amounts of alcohol. Hopefully, this boozing will be done alongside your best friends at a cheap local pub (thankyou #teamlove) rather than alone with a bottle of vodka (Bridget Jones style).
Yes, alcohol and fun times are great distractions but only up until you wake up one morning in the arms of some random you’d never look twice at without your beer googles. Or you get so boozed up on your birthday that you end a five year stint of ‘vegetarianism’ by drunkenly sucking on some chicken bones.
Regardless, you eventually crash and start questioning whether this craziness is of any benefit. As the hangover clears, you realise that all this stupidity (evidence of which is plastered all over Facebook) is only serving to show the world (and most importantly your ex) how damn far you are from getting over them.
Replacing the Ex
It’s natural, after losing the love of your life, to run into the arms of the first dude that comes along. This person may represent everything your ex was not, but generally during this time of vulnerability us good girls tend to be even more magnetically drawn to those emotionally-unavailable bad boys. There are also occasions where you might meet someone who is half decent but, alas, you are not in a good space and the poor fool has just entered a war zone as you simply use and abuse him, eventually breaking his spirit. Regardless, rebound sex/hook-ups/’relationships’ are NEVER a good idea as it’s not likely to be anything meaningful and someone always end up getting hurt.
Finally, don’t waste time beating yourself up, move on from these mistakes – remember the rebound is just a phase, and it too shall (eventually) pass, hopefully making way for your true Prince Charming to enter your life.
Now dearest Rinsers, please share your rebound stories below. Thanking you