Is there any hope for ‘True Love’ in the Ashley Madison Era ?

Ashley Madison - Cheats

Being a single girl is tough – searching for true love while having to contend with DIY missions, holding down a full time job, kissing frogs, painful beauty treatments, and just generally trying to make light of all the dating disasters we experience. And then something like the Ashley Madison privacy hack rears its ugly head, and one begins to question their faith in humanity and whether this ideal of finding our Prince Charming, popping out kids and moving to the suburbs, is really worth pursuing.

Surely, the fact that we are bombarded with wedding pictures everytime we log onto Facebook, should give us hope that love is all around? Hmmm…Maybe I am a bit cynical but I really do wonder how many of these ‘happy’ marriages will still exist in 10-15 years time? Its somewhat comforting to know that despite being single now, my decision to live in sin wasn’t all that bad when you consider all those married and divorced by 30 types, that we find roaming around. And with tools like Ashley Madison available to us is it really any wonder that marriages/relationships don’t last?

For those of you that have been living under a rock, Ashley Madison is a well-established (it pre-dates Tinder) adultery website with the slogan ‘Life is short. Have an Affair’. I’m not going to waste time debating whether or not the site’s 37 million users should be named and shamed for being a bunch of philanderers, because this has been discussed ad nauseum but this story does make me question what hope there is for a single girl looking for old fashioned romance these days?

Often people say that the situation was different in our parents/grandparents time where folks just settled for someone from their own village instead of chasing some Hollywood notion of ‘true love’. However, although more of these old school marriages lasted longer, I doubt they were as wholesome as we’d like to believe. I mean surely not all 37 million Ashley Madison members are below 35? They are all somebody’s father, mother, uncle, daughter or grandmother. And since prostitution is said to be the world’s oldest profession, some of these cheaters/homewreckers must have been around since the dark ages as well, right?

Still we can’t blame Ashley Madison for the sad state of society today. If a person has the inclination to have an affair, they’ll attract it and yes the internet might make it easier to meet someone else with the same low moral standards,  it certainly can’t be blamed for creating more philanderers. I do think, however, that it does tell us something about human nature and that when exposed to unprecedented levels of choice, people become unwilling to settle for nice/wholesome/bog-standard relationships. It seems there are tonnes of people that would opt for the adrenaline rush (and possible STI) that comes with sneaking around having a clandestine relationship (aka secret sex).

Ultimately though, the success of Ashley Madison highlights that maybe I’m in the minority and not everyone out there is looking for their fairytale ending. However, being an optimist, I’d still say that the existence of ‘more traditional’ sites like OKCupid, Plenty Of Fish and Match.Com prove that there are still a sizeable number of decent folk around looking for something a little more real. So, to all the single gals, let’s keep our chins up and continue searching Prince Charming, because if we give up that’ll be a win for the sad spinsters, heartbreakers and adultering scumbags of this world and we can’t have that.

Now peeps, tell us what you think. Is the world really so full of cheaters? And should the singletons just give up already (and maybe consider joining Ashley Madison to break up a marriage instead)?

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44 comments

  1. No Need to overreact to the presence of Ashley Madison. Until recently I didn’t even know what it was until someone told me. To think that you should join and break up a marriage is short sighted on your part. Treat others as you would want them to treat you. Also remember we choose to do what we do in this case to have an affair or not to have an affair. Not everyone cheats just like not everyone who gets married is unhappy. Don’t generalize marriage or affairs it is a case by case thing.

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  2. LOL ! OK maybe I was being overdramatic, saying that the world is coming to an end because of Ashley Madison but I was just exercising a bit of artistic licence to get people talking 😉 And I promise I don’t intend on breaking up any marriages either, I was just putting the idea out there !

    As for my statement about marriages being unhappy what I was getting at is that there is a lot of pressure for people to conform at a certain age. Things like Facebook only serve to exacerbate this. Literally, every week I see yet another set of wedding photos and sure I am happy for those people, but I am also saying singletons shouldn’t feel pressurized into conforming in order to fit in to what society deems normal. In my opinion, its better to live in sin and muddle your way through than get married too young, just for the sake of a pretty dress and red velvet cake. I’d rather be Bridget Jones still searching for Mr Darcy in her 30s, than someone who rushed into something and ends up with a divorce under their belts by the age of 30 (this is a reality – I’ve seen it happen to FB friends…).

    I don’t plan on giving up on love, but I also refuse to be disheartened by comparing myself to others. I am realistic about things, sure not all those marriages are broken, but many aren’t as happy as FB would have us believe.

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  3. Something to think about …we choose what we do , just because people drink doesn’t mean we should ..we choose to, people do drugs it doesn’t mean we should we choose to. If you ever decide to marry it should be because you choose to not because you feel pressure from facebook or anywhere else

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    • Totally agree with you. That’s why I was saying that people should not be dragged into all the hype. Its OK to be single (but not a hater of men/spinster) until you find a rare decent kinda bloke (i.e. not an Ashley Madison member). Just saying no need to rush into these things and instead hold out to find a relationship where your other half isn’t on AM in 10 years time 😉

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      • Fair enough but I don’t finding you’re one and only isn’t going to that long to find… know what you want, work on you and trust your gut if it doesn’t feel right run…and stop looking in all the wrong places with all the bad boy faces.

        Liked by 1 person

    • True. I hadn’t heard of AM till this whole cyber hack blew up. But still 37 million members is quite remarkable. People willing to pay for a service that sets up affairs…it baffles me.

      But yup, you’ll find cheaters everywhere. The men on tinder with pics of their wife on the wedding day as the profile photo (hmmm…they are not too tech savvy, hey) and the guy I met on OKC who tell me he is still married to his ex-wife, but they are separated…strange!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. As a single guy who just happens to be an old fashioned romantic, let me just say that there are plenty of us out there. Please do not give up on finding one of us. Maybe you can find us at some small island somewhere! I do find it way too easy to cheat on someone these days. Consider the number of online dating sites and chat rooms that are available to people now. A person has a fight with their spouse and a site or chat room is just a computer or smartphone login away from meeting a new person. Who is going to know that they are married? Most people who get involved in affairs seem to have a very low self-esteem. They want to feel the gratification of feeling liked or loved by multiple people to boost themselves up. Being single is really not so bad. I enjoy the freedom and peace of mind that comes from my single status. I have seen the devastating effects that divorce can bring upon a person. Why would anyone want to go through that lasting pain and bitterness? Life is way too short for that crap!! I really enjoy my life even without having a special woman in my life. I could care less that some people think that I’m odd for being single. Keep up the great work!! This is a great blog site with some very interesting topics.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I wish there where some stats abou cheating historically. Remember that men used to cheat for ages (literally) before this fidelity idea actually started to matter. Maybe the only difference is that now women do too?

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