To Sext or Not To Sext?

Sexting

A recent conversation really made me feel my age. Subject matter: Snap Chat. For those, like me, who are in the dark, Snap Chat is app which allows the young(er) generation to send photos to each other, but only for a matter of seconds, after which the said picture disappears forever. At first glance, this may seem like a pointless exercise but not if you are an avid SEXTER?

What is Sexting? This is basically when you use smartphone technology to send sexy messages/photos to your significant other/fun time person. Thanks to the celebrity sex tape/revenge porn stories that we see pretty much every week in the media, you’d think people would think twice before sending glorious images of the lady/man bits out in the big bad technologically-savvy world. But it seems not, people seem to love spontaneously sending/receiving pornographic images in the most obscure of places (e.g. church, on the bus, during a dull business meeting,etc.).

There must be some appeal because otherwise there’d be no reason to create an app for the purpose of allowing ‘free’ spirits to be pornstars for a day (well a few seconds) without any repercussions (hard to believe). As a person who carries her life in her somewhat dated smartphone, I realise it was only a matter of time before we not only used these devices to help us find love, but also as a means of embracing our promiscuous side (I see Snap Chat being particularly popular with WISOs/MISOs).

And most of us, even the good girls, get lured into a false sense of security during that honeymoon phase of a relationship and end up being slightly risqué. Trouble only arises when that relationship turns sour and that boy you thought was decent decides to send those dirty photos out to all the pervs of the World Wide Web. Then it’s only a matter of time before one of your ewww uncles, or worse your boss, gets hold of those images that were only intended for the eyes of the man that you oh-so-naively thought would be your future husband. And BOOM there goes your reputation as a decent young lady and your chances of landing your dream job.

There are even cases where the decision to have ‘your’ naked body plastered all over the internet gets taken out of your hands. I’ve always believed that the best friend you can make at the office is not the CEO of the company, but the IT guy, especially in the digital age. Let me tell you a story about an emasculated computer geek, who after one too many rejections from the ladies, took to photo shopping the faces of every girl that had ever had the audacity to look down upon him onto the body of a pornstar and subsequently putting said images all over Facebook for the world to peruse. This is not good, especially if you are hail from a traditional ethnic community where Daddy truly believes his little girl is a virgin when he walks her down the aisle. Let’s just say, this tale didn’t end well, the elders got involved (and probably enjoyed a good old perv) and Mr Computer Geek ended up spending a night in the prison cell.

So, for some brief advice from #englishrosiee (gosh I sound like an OAP), when it comes to sexting, just DON’T, it’ll come back to haunt you (even if you think you’re getting away with it now, those dirty pictures will resurface when you are in an old age home). If, in a moment of madness you do succumb to such an exhibitionist urge, and it does subsequently come to bite you in the backside (pun intended) the only thing left to do is OWN IT – you were young, naïve and (hopefully) in a relationship with a douche bag who you stupidly trusted – people will understand and if they don’t, forget them. Soon, another idiot (maybe the sad spinster who isn’t getting any) will make a porn video with their dog, and you’ll be tomorrow’s news. And NEVER upset the IT guy 😉

Now readers tell us your thoughts on the new fangled phenomenon of Sexting…are you all for the fun times or is it just not worth the risk?

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37 comments

  1. bklynboy59 · July 16, 2015

    So Not worth the risk for many reasons some of which you mentioned in this entry. You never know where this ends up … And for many who talk to people on line and end up sexting that person …you don’t really know who they are sharing your photos with … Needless to say there are many risks involved and while it may seem like you are being prude it is best to keep those private parts …private.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · July 16, 2015

      I’m happy to see this response from a man 🙂 I think the boys tend to the think sexting is just a bit of fun (generalisation, i know) becase the consequences are always less grim for them. But as they say reputation is a bit like virginity, once its gone, it will never be quite the same again.

      Like

      • bklynboy59 · July 16, 2015

        So true…I can’t say it enough in the electronic age everything floats I. The airwaves and I’d you don’t want something to come back and bite you don’t post it don’t make viral and don’t sext it

        Liked by 1 person

      • EnglishRosiee · July 16, 2015

        I guess I’ll need to go into hiding and deny the existence of this blog if any of the dates I write about find out then. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • bklynboy59 · July 16, 2015

        Lol …sadly we are too quick to show and tell everything. Too much information or as I like to refer to as TMI. Which also included texting our body parts.

        Like

  2. patriciamanning · July 16, 2015

    I agree about the photos, not really about messages, though. It is fun and exciting to send messages of a risqué nature with a guy/girl you are into. Hopefully they participate, as well. For me, it has been an excellent way to determine a guy I am interested in’s creativity and confidence: the less that is wrote the less interest I have. They are also a great way to deal with distance. Snap Chat is something that I am also not familiar with, but I do see the appeal for photos. Since I like words, whatsapp works very well, and I can always go back and re-read them later for some inspiration 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · July 16, 2015

      Yeah, even if someone were to leak the messages the victim could always argue that text files were manipulated which is fairly easy to do, pictures on the other hand are more troublesome.

      I like how you use Sexting to determine a man’s ‘creativity and confidence’. I’d ask them to paint my a picture or put up a curtain rail (actually, I really do need someone to do this.)

      You also mentioned distance and that is especially where I things like Snap Chat become real winners. Sexting and the like really can help life your spirits if you are in a long distance relationship…but lets not sext and tell 😉

      Like

  3. liveclarelesley · July 16, 2015

    Never Sext! Thank you for preaching this! I don’t think you sound old. Just concerned xx

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I would add that if for some reason you decide to sext, the best way to give yourself some deniability is to send pictures that don’t include your face. I’m not saying I’ve ever sexted, BUT, if I had, that’s probably what I would have done 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · July 17, 2015

      Clever man ! The other thing is to make sure you store a couple of images of the other party, just incase but also for when you have a spare matter and need some wank bank material 😉 Jokes.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. zlotybaby · July 16, 2015

    I agree – never sext (as in send naked pics), sexting as in send sext contents to your SO is a different thing. I remember when one of my friends was using online dating and when he got pics from chicks he would show them to everyone. He’s a decent guy in general but he didn’t see anything wrong with sharing pics that as he said the chick must have been aware would be shared.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · July 17, 2015

      I guess its also a matter of timing. If you wanna be crazy enough to sext at the early stages of online dating then I think its stupidity not to expect that stuff to be passed around, especially dangerous in small place like CT. If its later on when u r in a relationship with a guy, you can be forgiven for dating a douche bag because everyone can relate, we’ve all been there (if not with the sexting, with something else just as stupid).

      Like

      • zlotybaby · July 17, 2015

        Jip. I guess it’s a sort of a horrible attitude to have in life in general to believe that anything can use be against us at any time. One can’t really live like this. Although if you trust your SO you could technically go for it, there’s still a risk of someone getting in hold of the pics even if he turns out to be trustworthy. I just don’t think it’s worth it.

        Liked by 1 person

      • EnglishRosiee · July 17, 2015

        Yeah its not nice that the you have to always think three steps ahead but the world is a cruel cruel place and we’ve all trusted people, who’ve stabbed us in the back later. #kickedoutfourdaysbeforemonthend

        Like

      • zlotybaby · July 17, 2015

        Let me just sigh deeply in reply.

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Nortina S. · July 16, 2015

    The number 1 rule of sexting . . . CROP OUT YOUR FACE! So that when it does get out, you can deny deny deny— That could be anybody’s birthmark. Do you know how many girls have that same tattoo? You really shouldn’t do it at all, but if you must, do not show your face.

    And I’ve heard horror stories about that IT guy scenario. When I was a teenager exploring the realms of myspace and Facebook in its early years, my mom forbade me from settting my actual picture as my profile pic for that exact reason.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · July 17, 2015

      Sometimes the olds really do know best, hey? Yup IT guys are becoming more and more dangerous, best to keep them onside.

      I will remember your rule if I ever make it to the Sexting stage 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Rasma R · July 17, 2015

    Now that is a bit much. You know you are right. One never knows if the pics really disappear. Anyway I would rather stick to pics that everyone can enjoy and comment on.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · July 17, 2015

      I like your old-school way of thinking. All the nakedness should be kept between you SO/FWB in the bedroom, rather than on social media.

      Like

  8. Psammie · July 17, 2015

    I think I’ll stick to private meetings in private places. Agreeing with “the old-school way of thinking”. And I think I prefer seeing my partner unclad with me than on social media. I mean, anyone can see them.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · July 21, 2015

      Thanks for reading 🙂 Seems most people are not huge fans of sexting on our blog, nice to see.

      Like

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  13. sam1128 · April 29, 2016

    There are so many forty, fifty, sixty year old men and women who are sex texting, they are bored, or in unhappy relationships.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · April 29, 2016

      😦 It’s quite grim to think they’ve given up on other means of having a rela-life interaction with a fellow human being.

      Liked by 1 person

      • sam1128 · April 29, 2016

        Yes but it’s easy and seems to meet a need…I suppose it’s that step down from things like Tinder and singers sites. Unfortunately as in real life relationships the hurt is as real when things go wrong.

        Liked by 1 person

  14. sam1128 · April 29, 2016

    TheTroublewith sex texting is they start sometimes to see it as normal and for real and in their minds glamorise their partners with all sorts of attributes that they probably don’t possess. I know one man who is sex texting at least 5 women starting on word feud then moving to kik or what’s app. He tempts the women to send photos by sharing a photo of another woman to show what they send. Duh how does that work, although it seems to. I would think if he would share them he will send mine to somebody else. I have also seen quite a lot of sex texting where people are saying you are so sexy, so wonderful you make me cum so well. Ummmmm hello you are not actually being touched by anything other than the words.So many more sane sensible older people are heavily into sex texting and pictures.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · April 29, 2016

      Yeah…I think the whole sexting thing is dangerous. I can see the temptation when its with someone you know already and they start pressuring you BUT sexting a random is a recipe for disastr in my book.

      Like

      • sam1128 · April 29, 2016

        Yes it is, you have no idea who you are talking too and a certain amount are certainly posing with a false identity. Then look at the males and females conned out of money by people they fall in love with on the Internet. I am talking to a man who is in love with a woman from another country. They Skype and look into each others eyes for hours at a time, which heightens the lust! He is about to leave his wife and go to this woman that he has never actually met. I think that is soo scary!

        Liked by 1 person

      • EnglishRosiee · April 29, 2016

        Absolutely crazy. But he must be despo to leave his marriage….

        Liked by 1 person

      • sam1128 · April 29, 2016

        He’s mesmerised by her, she dances for him she’s twenty years younger and he’s fallen hard. Cynical me thinks she’s looking for a meal ticket. I think he’s unhappy and twice he’s chickened out of actually leaving. We will see. I keep saying go and meet her, see her in real life she may be very different.

        Liked by 1 person

  15. A name · September 20

    Hi!

    To be honest I never sent any pics of my so called private area, not only because I don’t want to but because I don’t have one to send, I am pretty sad; not from loneliness but from the effects of loneliness, I am an animator so I have some talent which is more of a negative thing, I did a lot of stuff that I’m not proud of, I do feel guilty for what I did, thanks to my efforts I managed to delete the files, and for anyone who did the same thing I did, try to get some help and delete what you created, if you can’t you would slowly get depressed on what you did.

    Liked by 1 person

    • EnglishRosiee · September 21

      I’m a little confused.

      You have no private area?

      What are you guilty for?

      Sure sexting is not advisable and most people would probably feel ashamed if they got caught. But not everyone would get depressed about it surely?

      Like

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